Thinking Processes Can Make or Break You: 3 Ways Moms of Autistics Can Develop Mental Habits That Improve Their Well-Being

Thriving Moms of Autistics

Welcome back to another episode of the Thriving Moms of Autistics Podcast! I am your host, Dr. Christina Wilson.

Franklin D Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Let that sit for a minute. Moms of autistics are in high gear dealing with all the what ifs and fears.

That is why we are planners. We scan rooms for danger in less time than the CIA. We have our stuff together because we cannot afford not to.

So, that heightened state isn’t going away. So what do you do?

In this episode, we explore the challenges of living in this state and how we can make shifts for a more positive outcome.

Find the full transcript for this episode on your favorite podcast app.

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What Hinders a Moms of an Autistic’s Growth as They Process Challenges?

Fear is very real for moms raising autistics. This actually starts from the start of the diagnosis if not before.

We are fearing all the what ifs, such as what if he never talks… what if he cannot live on his own eventually…what will happen when I die…what if he elopes and is drawn to a body of water… what if he gets bullied or doesn’t make friends…

It’s a lot. How many times have you become fixated on these things? Does it help when you do?

What benefits do you get from getting sucked into this? If you’re getting stuck, you can’t grow.

We worry because it allows us to feel like we have some control over a situation that is clearly out of control. That is the function of ruminating on things and continually going over it until we fall into a negative thought loop.

However, it does not move the needle, and you remain stuck and unhappy. It only furthers our frustration.

Moms often stay isolated because we fear that others won’t understand our child and our journey. We tell ourselves that it is too hard dealing with those who just don’t get it.

We aren’t entirely wrong. It is hard. My son always says, “Mommy, you can do hard things.” He’s right.

We know it takes time and energy to find those who do get it. We fear the thought of adding one more thing to our list too. That is very real!

When we do nothing out of fear or put it off, we fail to grow. And THAThas lasting consequences.

When Moms of Autistics Develop a Learning Mindset, They See Beyond the Challenge and the Many Possibilities That Exist

What does this mean? Well, we have all been there. We’ve been let down and disappointed when things didn't turn out as we had wished.

Think back to feeling broken hearted over the demise of a relationship with someone you thought was the one. Or when you did not get the job you wanted and worked so hard for.

It doesn’t make sense at the time, but it does eventually. It usually takes a while. So, when you feel the rejection of someone who refuses to understand your autism journey, what can you do?

You can be thankful that you moved on without them. They aren’t a good fit for what you need! In essence, this supports yourself and your child.

What can you do when you take the time to find others who do get autism?

You gain a support system that you can rely on.

It is easy to get sucked into feeling frustrated when things go wrong. Those shifts in perspective make all the difference.

Carol Dweck’s The Power of Yet is a great tool to use during these challenging times when you find yourself drifting into negativity