Coming Out: LGBTQ+ Challenges in Adoption with Joe Toolan - Ep 135

Unraveling Adoption

"I had to be OK with the fact that they might not accept me for who I am." - Joe Toolan

Transcript

Read this episode's transcript: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01HQC31S90118VY2NM91EADH9Q

Episode Summary

In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson delves into the complexities of adoption through the lens of LGBTQ+ adoptees. Joined by guest Joe Toolan, a transracial, queer adoptee from Guatemala, the episode explores the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in the adoption process.

Joe shares his personal journey of growing up in a conservative white family in Maryland, navigating his identity as a queer, Latine, indigenous, transracial adoptee. He reflects on the struggles of coming out to his adoptive family and the impact it had on their relationship.

The episode highlights the importance of support and acceptance for LGBTQ+ adoptees, emphasizing the need for adoptive parents to create a safe and affirming environment for their children. Resources such as PFLAG, the Trevor Project, and GLSEN are recommended for allies and family members seeking to educate themselves and support LGBTQ+ individuals.

As Joe recounts his reunion with his birth family in Guatemala, the episode showcases the power of authenticity and self-acceptance in building meaningful connections. Despite initial concerns about acceptance, Joe's birth mother's unconditional love and support demonstrate the transformative impact of embracing one's true identity.

Listeners are encouraged to engage with the LGBTQ+ adoptee community, seek support from advocacy organizations, and participate in upcoming events like the town hall meeting addressing the safety and well-being of adopted children.

Through heartfelt storytelling and insightful conversations, Unraveling Adoption provides a compassionate and informative platform for exploring the intersection of adoption and LGBTQ+ identities, fostering understanding and empathy for all individuals touched by adoption.

Resources mentioned in this episode

• Contact Joe through Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/toolan_joe/

• Find help for LGBTQ+ people and their allies here:

• PFLAG: https://pflag.org/

• The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

• GLSEN: https://www.glsen.org/

• Guatemalan adoptees can find support through the organization Joe works with, Adoptees of Guatemalan Roots: https://www.guateroots.org/

• Attend the Town Hall meeting on Sunday, March 10, 2024, to discuss adoptee murders and what we can do to keep our community's adopted children safe. adopteemurders.eventbrite.com

Other Resources

• APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude

• Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com

• Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected]Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTubeSupport Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoptionCheck out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.comCreate your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION

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Timestamps:

00:00:02 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption 00:01:15 - Embracing LGBTQ+ Voices 00:01:37 - Early Childhood and Adoption Story 00:02:14 - Growing Up in a Conservative Community 00:03:35 - Coming Out as LGBTQ+ 00:04:39 - Navigating Relationships After Coming Out 00:05:03 - Challenges of Coming Out Again in Reunion 00:05:42 - Support Systems and Role Models 00:06:57 - Finding Community in College 00:07:53 - Coming Out to Friends 00:08:14 - Struggles with Family Acceptance 00:09:00 - Navigating Authenticity and Acceptance 00:10:10 - Parental Acceptance and Support 00:11:18 - Curiosity About Birth Family 00:12:29 - Beginning the Search for Biological Family 00:13:55 - Receiving Information from Adoptee Groups 00:14:58 - Reunion Process Initiation 00:15:48 - Emotional Response to Reunion News 00:16:00 - Initial Contact with Birth Family 00:17:00 - Concerns About Reunion and Acceptance 00:18:27 - Authenticity in Reunion Process 00:19:00 - Emotional Reunion Moment 00:20:36 - Acceptance and Unconditional Love 00:21:23 - Connecting with LGBTQ+ Adoptee Communities 00:22:18 - Resources for LGBTQ+ Support 00:23:05 - Advice for Adoptive Parents 00:24:46 - Connecting with the Guest 00:25:26 - Invitation to Town Hall Meeting