The Male Adoptee Experience: Understanding Anger, Vulnerability, and Community with Tim Perdion - Ep 172

Unraveling Adoption

"I almost feel like there was a blueprint, and I was a character to fit into that blueprint." -- Tim Perdion

Episode Summary:

In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the opportunity to speak with Tim Perdion, an adoptee from Ohio who has spent the last decade navigating his journey of self-discovery and healing. Tim shares his experience of being adopted shortly after birth and the feelings of not belonging that plagued him throughout his childhood. Despite growing up in a loving family, he struggled with anger and a sense of isolation, which led him to seek validation through sports and relationships.

As a teenager, Tim turned to substances to cope with his internal struggles, leading to a reputation for overindulgence in high school. After facing personal crises in adulthood, including two divorces, he sought help at a trauma and addiction clinic, where he began to confront the deeper issues related to his adoption. Tim highlights the lack of focus on adoption-related trauma in traditional recovery settings and emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and community for male adoptees.

He introduces the concept of the "orphaned heart," describing the emotional barriers adoptees build to protect themselves from feelings of abandonment and rejection. Tim encourages younger male adoptees to explore their inner worlds and seek support, reminding them that they are not alone in their struggles.

This episode is a heartfelt exploration of the complexities of adoption, the significance of community, and the power of vulnerability. I hope Tim's story resonates with many and inspires others to seek understanding and connection in their own journeys.

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RESOURCES:

Tim’s information:

• Email Tim at [email protected]

• Tim’s Website: http://prodigalpathways.com/

• Find Tim on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/timperdion/

• Find Tim on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tperdion

• Find Tim on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timperdion/

Books mentioned in the episode:

• The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier: https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Wound-Understanding-Adopted-Child/dp/0963648004

• Healing the Orphaned Heart: Renewal for the Misunderstood, the Abused, and Abandoned by Casey Treat: https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Orphaned-Heart-Misunderstood-Abandoned/dp/1577944518

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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

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TIME STAMPS

00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption 00:01:24 - Tim's Childhood and Adoption Experience 00:03:47 - Struggles with Identity and Belonging 00:06:26 - The Impact of Family Dynamics 00:08:56 - Substance Use and Coping Mechanisms 00:10:51 - Seeking Help and Treatment 00:12:08 - Understanding Adoption Trauma 00:14:20 - The Journey of Self-Discovery 00:16:02 - Finding Community and Connection 00:19:05 - The Importance of Sharing Stories 00:20:17 - Challenges for Male Adoptees 00:22:05 - The Role of Forgiveness in Healing 00:24:46 - Learning to Ask for Help 00:27:04 - Advice for Younger Male Adoptees 00:29:44 - Resources and Community Support 00:30:57 - Conclusion and Call to Action