Tim & Whitney Scarborough: creating a family culture

Whit's End: Real People, Hard Questions

A few years ago, Tim and I recorded a couple conversations on marriage and parenting. Today, we sit down to revisit the concept of how we create culture in our homes. We touch on training our kids up into increasing responsibilities, choosing travel and experiences over stuff, building Sabbath rhythms into our weekend routine, and lingering dinners that create the space for deeper conversations. We honestly share some of our cyclical struggles and weak spots that we continue to hit heads on (feel free to send your advice!), including busy-ness, finances, and communication. We pass on some wisdom that has impacted us in the recent past, from podcasts to counseling and mentors.

IG: @wlscarborough, @tim_scar

Show Notes/Quotes:

Tim Keller Marriage podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cultivating-a-healthy-marriage-with-tim-keller/id1752020494

“Our goal each week, and this is hard, is to have half the week or more where we are sitting down eating together…what I’ve seen with our kids is that it grounds them.”

“I feel like your desire for verbal affirmation is literally insatiable. No matter how much I did it, you would always want a little bit more.”

“I remember Opie saying a couple years ago that to him one of his favorite things was a meal that we could just sit and enjoy and didn’t have a stopping point to it.”

“Inevitably, in those times, we end up talking about a lot of things that we believe in.”

“The concept of Sabbath as a centering day for the people of God to reorient themselves around the person of God as their provider is still needed. It hasn’t gone away.”

“The busy-ness does damage to our souls, and it causes us sometimes to feel so at odds with each other when really we just haven’t spent time together. There’s really no substitute for quality time. If we are running too fast, filling our schedules too full, we cannot also feel deeply connected to each other.”

“Spending some time with younger couples too has sharpened us in some really cool ways.”

“There may be some validity here to my frustration, but I need to do a better job of seeing the character of my husband and encouraging him in that, and not just jumping to, ‘Well you didn’t do this thing for me that I wanted you to.’”

“One thing that I think that has adjusted over 17 years of marriage, we would at the beginning of our marriage just jump right into an argument when something ticked us off, but now, you and I both, that’s tempered over the past decade and a half…I think what you’re really doing in that is giving me the benefit of the doubt…whenever we do that for each other, it allows us to perceive each other in a whole new light.”

“God, help me to better steward who I am, and to be the best that I can be in these roles that you’ve entrusted to me.”