#28 Why You Struggle to Stay Consistent (and How to Fix It)

Identity-Level Recalibration

→ Download the Misalignment Audit

19:09

This episode is brought to you by Landrum Talent Solutions, a national recruiting firm specializing in marketing and HR positions. Our guest today has been keeping us up to date with the current state of hiring for marketers on a quarterly basis, which has taken us on quite a roller coaster ride. Today we’re going to look at how marketing and communication execs are responding to the latest developments in the world while still needing to get their work done. To take a look at the latest here, I’d like to welcome back to the show Sue Keith, Corporate Vice President at Landrum Talent Solutions. About Sue Keith Sue Keith is Corporate Vice President at Landrum Talent Solutions. With deep expertise in navigating complex labor markets, Sue has a front-row seat to the evolving dynamics of marketing roles, hiring trends, and the broader implications of AI and economic uncertainty. RESOURCES Landrum Talent Solutions: https://www.landrumtalentsolutions.com Catch the future of e-commerce at eTail Boston, August 11-14, 2025. Register now: https://bit.ly/etailboston and use code PARTNER20 for 20% off for retailers and brands Online Scrum Master Summit is happening June 17-19. This 3-day virtual event is open for registration. Visit www.osms25.com and get a 25% discount off Premium All-Access Passes with the code osms25agilebrand Don't Miss MAICON 2025, October 14-16 in Cleveland - the event bringing together the brights minds and leading voices in AI. Use Code AGILE150 for $150 off registration. Go here to register: https://bit.ly/agile150 Connect with Greg on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gregkihlstrom Don't miss a thing: get the latest episodes, sign up for our newsletter and more: https://www.theagilebrand.show Check out The Agile Brand Guide website with articles, insights, and Martechipedia, the wiki for marketing technology: https://www.agilebrandguide.com…

about a year ago 6:35

MP3•Episode home

If you’re tired of starting over, this episode explains why your struggle isn’t about discipline — it’s about identity. Learn why habits won’t hold if they aren’t built on who you actually believe you are.

You don’t have a consistency problem — you have an identity gap. This episode explains why habit stacks and morning routines only work when they’re rooted in who you believe you are. You’ll learn why your nervous system resists change, how identity-level misalignment sabotages even your best efforts, and how small calibrated shifts create sustainable momentum. Includes a personal story, science-backed insight, and a powerful micro-recalibration.

In This Episode, We Cover:

Why habit hacks don’t stick without identity alignment
How your nervous system rejects misaligned routines (even if they’re good)
What makes ILR different from Atomic Habits-style behavior models
Why starting over doesn’t mean failure — it means misalignment
Julie’s behind-the-scenes story of building this podcast from calibrated energy
What Jerry Seinfeld’s “don’t break the chain” method reveals about embodied identity
A simple, grounded way to return to your vision without burning out

Today’s Micro-Recalibration
Instead of forcing yourself to “just stick with it,” ask:

What habit feels heavy right now?
Is this rhythm aligned with who I’m becoming?
What’s one small, honest shift I can make today that feels like truth — not pressure?

Your consistency doesn’t have to be perfect.
It just has to be real.

If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it.

Explore Identity-Level Recalibration
→ Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights

→ Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you

→ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter

→ Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort

77 episodes

#Entrepreneur #Business #Podcasting Education #Self-Improvement #Julie Holly #Peak Performance #Burnout #Mindset Shift #Success & Sacrifice #High Performer Feeling Stuck #Clarity Over Hustle #Leadership Fatigue #Outgrowing Success #Purpose-driven Leadership #Internal Alignment #Sustainable Ambition

#28 Why You Struggle to Stay Consistent (and How to Fix It)

Identity-Level Recalibration

published about a year ago

MP3•Episode home

In This Episode, We Cover:

Why habit hacks don’t stick without identity alignment
How your nervous system rejects misaligned routines (even if they’re good)
What makes ILR different from Atomic Habits-style behavior models
Why starting over doesn’t mean failure — it means misalignment
Julie’s behind-the-scenes story of building this podcast from calibrated energy
What Jerry Seinfeld’s “don’t break the chain” method reveals about embodied identity
A simple, grounded way to return to your vision without burning out

Today’s Micro-Recalibration
Instead of forcing yourself to “just stick with it,” ask:

What habit feels heavy right now?
Is this rhythm aligned with who I’m becoming?
What’s one small, honest shift I can make today that feels like truth — not pressure?

Your consistency doesn’t have to be perfect.
It just has to be real.

If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it.

Explore Identity-Level Recalibration
→ Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights

→ Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you

→ Download the Misalignment Audit

→ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter

→ Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort

77 episodes

All episodes

Identity-Level Recalibration

1
#77 Assignment Follows Identity — Stop Waiting for Clarity to Act 6:00

23 hours ago6:00

6:00

Still waiting for clarity before you move? This episode reminds you that your next step won’t come from a roadmap — it comes from who you are. Identity leads. Assignment follows. What if clarity isn’t the starting point — but the byproduct? In today’s episode, Julie Holly challenges the hidden habit that keeps high-capacity humans stuck: waiting for external confirmation before moving in alignment. Whether you're circling a decision, delaying a shift, or holding back a bold next step until it “makes sense,” this recalibration is your invitation to lead from identity, not insecurity. You’ll hear how a founder broke through analysis paralysis by reclaiming her lived experience — and how Tristan Walker , founder of Bevel, left a dream role in venture capital to build what the industry was missing. He didn’t wait for a playbook. He became the playbook. In this episode, you’ll learn: The hidden permission-seeking behavior that keeps high performers stuck How identity leads to action — even without full clarity Why Tristan Walker’s story is a masterclass in conviction over consensus A practical two-part recalibration to shift from fear into aligned momentum 🧭 Today’s Micro-Recalibration: Part 1: Personal Prompt Write this sentence and finish it honestly: “If I fully trusted who I am, I would…” Let it be raw. Let it be bold. Let it surprise you. Part 2: Leadership Cue Ask: “Where have I been asking for clarity before acting — and what would shift if I led from identity instead?” It could be about launching something, having a hard conversation, or moving in the direction that’s been whispering to you for weeks. If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it. Explore Identity-Level Recalibration → Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights → Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you → Download the Misalignment Audit → Subscribe to the weekly newsletter → Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort…

Identity-Level Recalibration

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#76 Fully Known, Fully Loved — What You’re Hiding Doesn’t Disqualify You 8:03

2 days ago8:03

8:03

You don’t have to hide to be loved. This episode is your reminder that being fully seen doesn’t disqualify you — it makes you human. And that’s where true leadership and healing begin. For high performers, being seen can feel like a risk — especially when the world applauds the polished version of you. But healing doesn’t happen in the mask. It happens in the honest places. In this episode, Julie Holly gets real about the version of you that no one sees — the part that feels tender, unspoken, or not yet processed. The part that quietly whispers, “If they really knew…” But here’s the truth: hiding doesn’t protect your power — it drains it. You’ll hear Julie’s personal reflections on vulnerability vs. disclosure, plus a powerful recalibration story from Grammy-winning artist and entrepreneur Lecrae Moore , who chose honesty over image and found freedom on the other side of breakdown. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why high-capacity humans often hide what makes them human The cost of living behind image-based leadership How Lecrae’s journey shows us the power of telling the truth A practical, safe way to begin being known — even before you feel “ready” 🧭 Today’s Micro-Recalibration: Write or speak a sentence you’ve been afraid to admit — even to yourself. Examples: – “I’m tired of performing.” – “I’m afraid to slow down.” – “I feel like I’m carrying something I haven’t named.” Then say this aloud: “This doesn’t disqualify me. This is where God meets me.” Leadership Cue: Ask yourself: “What part of me have I been hiding because I thought it would weaken my voice — and what if that’s actually the part that makes my leadership whole?” If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it. Explore Identity-Level Recalibration → Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights → Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you → Download the Misalignment Audit → Subscribe to the weekly newsletter → Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort…

Identity-Level Recalibration

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#75 More Than Your Role — When Identity Isn’t a Job Title 8:02

3 days ago8:02

8:02

When your title no longer fits, it’s not failure — it’s a faithful invitation to grow. This episode walks you through the courage it takes to release your role and reclaim your identity. If you’ve ever looked at your life and quietly wondered, “Does this still reflect who I am?” — this episode is for you. In today’s conversation, we explore one of the most courageous recalibrations a High Capacity Human can make: separating your identity from the role you’ve outgrown. Whether you're a founder, executive, therapist, or creative — if your success no longer feels aligned, that’s not sabotage. That’s clarity. Julie Holly shares her own story of retiring a thriving brand — not out of burnout, but because the identity that built it had evolved. She also unpacks how Instagram co-founder Kevin Systrom walked away from one of the most influential tech platforms on the planet — not to escape, but to realign. This episode offers truth, tenderness, and permission to tell yourself the whole truth — even if that means letting go of a version of success that no longer fits. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why identity must come before role — not the other way around How to recognize when your success has become a container What Kevin Systrom’s story teaches us about creative integrity How to lead from alignment instead of old expectations 🧭 Today’s Micro-Recalibration: Part One: Personal Recalibration Write down three truths about who you are that have nothing to do with what you do: – “I am someone who…” – “I carry the capacity to…” – “When I’m fully myself, I…” Part Two: Leadership Cue Ask: Where have I been leading from role instead of identity — and what would shift if I led from who I am, not what I’ve built? Let this shape how you speak, decide, lead, and live — today and beyond. If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it. Explore Identity-Level Recalibration → Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights → Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you → Download the Misalignment Audit → Subscribe to the weekly newsletter → Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort…

Identity-Level Recalibration

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#74 Stop Earning What God Already Gave You 7:49

4 days ago7:49

7:49

You’ve proven yourself a thousand times over — but still feel like you can’t stop. This episode is your permission to rest, receive, and remember: you don’t have to earn what God already said was yours. If you’re the kind of person others rely on — high performer, high achiever, leader — then you likely built your life on effort. But what happens when that effort turns into performance? When striving becomes your safety net? In this episode, we name the invisible weight so many High Capacity Humans carry: the belief that they must earn their identity, their value, their belonging. Julie shares a story from a client who had it all on paper — but couldn’t stop performing. And she reflects on her own journey of realizing: you don’t have to earn what God already gave you. You’ll also hear the powerful recalibration story of former NFL linebacker Sam Acho , who stopped pretending and began leading from the unshakeable truth of who he already was. This isn’t just an invitation to slow down. It’s an invitation to stop striving and start living like you’re already approved. In this episode, you’ll learn: How high achievers unconsciously link performance to worth Why identity recalibration matters more than behavioral change What Sam Acho’s story reveals about public strength and private struggle How faith and nervous system safety intersect in true transformation 🧭 Today’s Micro-Recalibration: Take five quiet minutes and ask yourself: “Where in my life am I still trying to earn what God already gave me?” Then write this sentence — or speak it aloud: “I don’t have to earn what’s already mine.” Let that truth land in your body. If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it. Explore Identity-Level Recalibration → Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights → Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you → Download the Misalignment Audit → Subscribe to the weekly newsletter → Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort…

Identity-Level Recalibration

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#73 Already Approved — Who You Were Before the Hustle 12:10

5 days ago12:10

12:10

You’ve carried the weight of proving yourself. But what if you were already enough? This episode recalibrates the soul — away from performance and into anchored, identity-rooted approval. What if the part of you that’s exhausted isn’t broken — it’s just tired of performing? In this episode of Identity-Level Recalibration , we explore the truth many high-capacity humans never say aloud: “I don’t feel like I’m enough.” Even if you’ve succeeded by every metric, the pressure to prove can quietly erode your peace. This isn’t another mindset hack. It’s a root-level return. Julie Holly shares her own recalibration — a story that began with deep loss and led to unexpected freedom. You’ll also hear how Justin Bieber’s public unraveling became a catalyst for reclaiming identity beyond performance. Whether you’re a leader, creative, founder, or healer — if you’ve ever felt like the love had to be earned, this conversation is for you. You were already approved — before the hustle, before the title, before the applause. In this episode, you’ll learn: The hidden costs of high-functioning performance Why believing you're loved changes everything about how you lead How identity recalibration begins when we stop performing for love What Justin Bieber’s spiritual journey reveals about public recalibration A practical, identity-rooted Micro-Recalibration to integrate today’s truth 🧭 Today’s Micro-Recalibration: Write this in your own handwriting: “I am already loved and approved.” Then ask: If I truly believed this today — how would I show up differently? Let it lead how you rest, lead, decide, and speak. If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it. Explore Identity-Level Recalibration → Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights → Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you → Download the Misalignment Audit → Subscribe to the weekly newsletter → Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort…

Identity-Level Recalibration

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#72 Jesus Didn’t Perform for Approval — Neither Should You 5:56

6 days ago5:56

5:56

Even Jesus was misunderstood — and He didn’t perform to be seen. This episode invites you to anchor your worth in what God already declared, so you can lead from identity, not insecurity. If you've been quietly performing, over-functioning, or bending to be understood — this one’s for you. In today’s faith-forward episode, we return to the story of Jesus’ baptism and wilderness (Matthew 3–4) to remember: your identity is declared by God, not earned in the wilderness. You’ll hear how even Jesus, the Son of God, resisted the temptation to perform — staying rooted in truth, not applause. He healed in secret. He withdrew from the crowds. He didn’t need validation to stay aligned — and neither do you. We’ll explore how high-capacity humans often confuse approval with alignment, and why Identity-Level Recalibration is essential when your assignment grows but your support system shrinks. If you’re navigating: the ache of being misunderstood, the pressure to prove your worth, or the fatigue of living for applause… …this episode will recalibrate your heart and anchor your leadership in something unshakable. Today’s Micro-Recalibration: Read Matthew chapters 3 and 4. Slowly. Notice how identity is declared before the test. Then reflect: Where are you performing for approval? Where are you questioning what God already confirmed? Where can you stop proving and start trusting? Your security isn’t in who sees you — it’s in Who sent you. If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it. Explore Identity-Level Recalibration → Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights → Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you → Download the Misalignment Audit → Subscribe to the weekly newsletter → Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort…

Identity-Level Recalibration

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#71 Stop Asking for Approval to Be Who You Already Are 7:29

7 days ago7:29

7:29

If you’ve been hesitating, second-guessing, or shrinking to stay liked — this episode is your invitation to lead from identity, not approval. You’re already confirmed. Now it’s time to live like it. How much of your life is quietly shaped by the need for permission? You don’t need applause to live aligned. You don’t need validation to act on what you already know is true. But most high-capacity humans — especially those carrying unseen responsibility — are stuck in a quiet habit of identity delay. We call it wisdom. Caution. Responsiveness. But the deeper truth? Waiting for permission is just fear in disguise. In this episode, we name the hidden cost of approval-seeking — and why delaying your next step until others feel comfortable will fragment your identity, drain your leadership energy, and slow your God-given momentum. You’ll learn: The signs of identity delay and how it shows up in high-performing lives Why borrowed confidence never sustains clarity What it looks like to shift from external approval to vertical alignment How Daymond John modeled identity-led leadership (long before Shark Tank) A practical recalibration to stop asking for applause and start living aligned This episode isn’t about being loud or rebellious — it’s about being anchored . When you stop shrinking to be understood, you step into the authority of who God already made you to be. Today’s Micro-Recalibration: Make one decision without asking for applause, feedback, or permission. Even if it’s small — move from the version of you that’s already been confirmed by God. And if you lead others, model identity-led leadership by letting them see what obedience looks like — even when it’s misunderstood. Want more? Download the Misalignment Audit — and if you’re ready for a full recalibration, schedule an Insight & Alignment call . If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it. Explore Identity-Level Recalibration → Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights → Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you → Download the Misalignment Audit → Subscribe to the weekly newsletter → Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort…

Identity-Level Recalibration

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#70 Letting Go Without Falling Apart — The Courage to Disappoint 8:59

8 days ago8:59

8:59

What if alignment means disappointing others — but coming home to yourself? This episode explores the quiet courage of letting go, and why freedom requires releasing who you’ve been to become who you are. You’ve been the steady one. The reliable one. The one others count on. But lately, holding it all together feels heavier than it used to. This episode is for the high-capacity human silently asking: What do I do when what once fit… no longer does? In today’s conversation, we explore: Why growth often requires disappointing others The hidden cost of staying too long in misaligned roles How performance-based identity entangles our sense of loyalty The real reason “letting go” feels so hard — especially for those who lead What we can learn from coach Marla Mattenson’s courageous pivot A micro recalibration to help you take one step toward freedom You’ll walk away with language for what you’re feeling, permission to pause, and a renewed understanding of how identity clarity makes every other decision easier. Today’s Micro Recalibration: Where are you still saying yes because it’s expected — not because it’s aligned? Write it down. Identify the fear keeping you there. Take one small step toward integrity. If you lead a team, a mission, or a household — this matters. Because misalignment at the top always becomes exhaustion underneath. Let this episode be your reminder: You’re not failing. You’re freeing. If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it. Explore Identity-Level Recalibration → Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights → Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you → Download the Misalignment Audit → Subscribe to the weekly newsletter → Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort…

Identity-Level Recalibration

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#69 The High Cost of Keeping Everyone Happy — And Why It’s Not Your Job 8:31

9 days ago8:31

8:31

You’ve mastered the art of keeping the peace — but it’s quietly costing you. If approval has become your access point to belonging, it’s time to recalibrate your identity and stop trading alignment for acceptance. You’ve heard it your whole life: “You’re so steady.” “You’re the calm one.” “You make everyone feel better.” And while you’ve taken pride in that — you’re also tired. Tired of holding space for everyone else while quietly carrying your own unmet needs. Tired of reading the room, softening your truth, adapting your tone — just to keep the peace. High-capacity humans become emotionally bilingual — fluent in what others need from us. But slowly, our own voice fades. In today’s episode of Identity-Level Recalibration , we’re getting honest about what happens when your identity becomes fused with emotional management. Because when affirmation becomes your access point to belonging… you stop showing up fully. Not because you’re hiding — but because you’re curating. This is identity performance — dressed up as emotional intelligence. We’ll explore: Why emotional fluency becomes emotional fatigue The hidden toll of always being “the steady one” What happens when misalignment hides behind competence The difference between servant leadership and self-erasure How to break free from approval-based identity You’ll also hear how Lisa Bevere — author, leader, and founder — once silenced her voice to be the “supportive wife” the church expected… and how she chose obedience over image and stepped into vertical alignment. This episode includes a Micro-Recalibration to help you recognize where you’re performing to be liked — and what it’s costing you in identity. Today’s Micro-Recalibration: Name one area where you’ve been performing for approval — and ask yourself what it’s cost. Not in energy. In identity. Where are you showing up to manage perception instead of speaking from clarity? What version of you are you keeping alive just to keep others comfortable? What belief about love, peace, or leadership is asking you to disappear? If you lead a team, a company, or a household — this matters. Your clarity will set the emotional tone — not your compliance. If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it. Explore Identity-Level Recalibration → Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights → Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you → Download the Misalignment Audit → Subscribe to the weekly newsletter → Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort…

Identity-Level Recalibration

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#68 When Results Become Identity — And Burnout Follows 7:16

10 days ago7:16

7:16

When your identity fuses with what you produce, burnout is inevitable. This episode helps high-capacity humans recalibrate from performance to presence — before their purpose gets buried under pressure. If the results stopped, would you still know who you are? For high performers, that question feels risky. Because somewhere along the way, “doing well” became the same as “being worthy.” In this episode of Identity-Level Recalibration , we’re exploring what happens when performance starts shaping identity — and how that slow slide leads to invisible burnout, fractured self-trust, and quiet resentment. Here’s what we unpack together: Why success often deepens the approval trap The subtle difference between identity-fused performance and healthy excellence How “helpfulness” and “achievement” become self-protection Why burnout is often a symptom of disconnection, not overwork What to learn from Anne Morriss’ recalibration after public failure Why celebration is more than a feel-good tool — it’s a psychological exit ramp from overidentification (See Episode 38) How to spot identity foreclosure — and where we covered it previously If you’ve built a life on results, this conversation will feel both tender and clarifying. Because you’re not your wins. And when your identity is secure, your leadership becomes sustainable. Micro-Recalibration: Ask yourself: If this project fell apart — would I still know who I am? Let it lead to a deeper recalibration: What do I want to be true about me that isn’t tied to output? For leaders: Think of someone you lead who’s quietly attaching their worth to performance. Affirm who they are becoming — not just what they produce. That’s how we build cultures of identity, not burnout. Need help seeing what you’ve outgrown? Download the Misalignment Audit in the show notes. The offer? Clarity. The cost of waiting? Compounding misalignment. RESOURCES: #25 Why You Default to Overgiving, Overthinking, or Overworking #38 How Small Wins Build Momentum When You’re Burned Out If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it. Explore Identity-Level Recalibration → Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights → Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you → Download the Misalignment Audit → Subscribe to the weekly newsletter → Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort…

Identity-Level Recalibration

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#67 You’re Not Who They Think You Are — And That’s Okay 6:02

11 days ago6:02

6:02

You’ve outgrown the version of you they still expect. Here’s what to do when you feel misread — and how to stay anchored in who you’re becoming, even when others don’t understand. What do you do when you’ve grown — but the people around you still treat you like the old you? This episode speaks to the disorienting ache of being misread — when people relate to who you used to be, not who you are now. It’s a silent struggle for high-capacity professionals who are evolving quickly, but still being defined by legacy roles, outdated expectations, or past patterns. You’ll learn what’s really happening when others don’t catch up — and how to stay rooted in alignment rather than reverting for comfort. In this episode, Julie Holly breaks down: What it means to be misread — and why it happens during recalibration The psychological concept of predictive dissonance and how it applies to identity shifts Why overexplaining can reinforce misalignment How to recognize when you’re re-performing the old self for the sake of others’ comfort A powerful story about Kevin Kelly (Wired Magazine) and the cost of building before others understand A micro-recalibration you can use to stay anchored in real time — and help those you lead do the same Today’s Micro-Recalibration: Name one area where you’ve been misread — and instead of compensating, stay rooted in who you are becoming. And if you lead a team, family, or company: choose one person under your leadership who’s outgrowing an old role, and affirm who they’re becoming — not just who they’ve been. Being misunderstood is often a sign you’re right on time. Don’t shrink for their comfort. Stay aligned. RESOURCES: Episode #30 The Faith to Keep Going — When the Struggle Still Shows Up If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it. Explore Identity-Level Recalibration → Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights → Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you → Download the Misalignment Audit → Subscribe to the weekly newsletter → Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort…

Identity-Level Recalibration

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#66 When Approval Becomes a Prison — And How to Break Free 8:46

12 days ago8:46

8:46

Are you stuck in the trap of needing to be approved of to feel secure? This episode shows how external validation can quietly erode identity — and what it takes to break free. What happens when the version of you that people applaud is the very version you’re outgrowing? In this powerful opening to Week 10, Julie Holly names a quiet trap many high-capacity humans fall into: approval as identity . Whether you're navigating public leadership, relational shifts, or internal fatigue, this episode calls out the prison of external validation — and shows how to root your worth in something unshakable. Julie shares a raw, real-time story about facing failure in commercial real estate, and the identity unraveling that followed. You'll hear how the fear of being seen failing became louder than the failure itself — and how separating facts from fiction revealed a more anchored identity underneath. You’ll also hear: The psychological toll of identity conflict — and how it plays out in high performers How approval becomes a false safety net that slowly erodes clarity and courage The shift from performative peacekeeping to aligned leadership A real-life recalibration story from Truett Cathy , founder of Chick-fil-A Why ILR doesn’t start with behavior — it starts with being What it looks like to stop chasing affirmation and start anchoring to vertical truth Today’s Micro-Recalibration: Name one area where you’ve been performing for approval — and ask what it’s costing you in identity. If you lead others, practice showing up from alignment, not consensus. Clarity isn’t unkind — it’s responsible. You don’t have to keep performing for peace. It’s time to break free. If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it. Explore Identity-Level Recalibration → Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights → Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you → Download the Misalignment Audit → Subscribe to the weekly newsletter → Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort…

Identity-Level Recalibration

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#65 The God Who Called You Higher Will Hold You Through the Stretch 5:32

13 days ago5:32

5:32

If you’re in a stretch season — walking in obedience but still waiting on fruit — this episode reminds you that you’re not being punished. You’re being held. You’re not off track. You’re being prepared. When God calls you higher, there’s often a stretch — the gap between your obedience and the outcome. You’ve said yes. You’ve taken the step. But the confirmation hasn’t arrived. And in that space, the ache is real. This episode of Identity-Level Recalibration is a faith-forward reminder that you’re not off track — you’re in process. Julie Holly unpacks how the nervous system interprets uncertainty as threat, and why God’s silence isn’t abandonment — it’s anchoring. Through her own journey and Jesus’ experience in the garden, you’ll see that the stretch isn’t a signal to retreat. It’s an invitation to trust. If you’ve been questioning the quiet, doubting your yes, or wondering if God still sees you — this episode is for you. You’re not alone. You’re being held. In This Episode, We Cover: What the “stretch” really means in spiritual formation How ILR helps name the tension between inner clarity and outer delay Why your nervous system resists spiritual silence Julie’s story of leaving real estate to build ILR John Bevere’s wisdom on inner work before outer calling Jesus in the garden as a model of obedience under pressure How to stay faithful when fruit is delayed but the call is clear Today’s Micro-Recalibration: Ask yourself: Where have I mistaken the stretch for punishment? Where do I need to trust that God is holding me — even if nothing looks certain? Anchor this: “I don’t need to see the finish to trust the One who started it.” If you lead — in your family, your business, or your ministry — model what it looks like to walk in obedience without needing to explain every step. Your steadiness speaks louder than your certainty ever could. Resources: X: Multiply Your God-Given Potential by John Bevere If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it. Explore Identity-Level Recalibration → Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights → Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you → Download the Misalignment Audit → Subscribe to the weekly newsletter → Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort…

Identity-Level Recalibration

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#64 Being Misunderstood Might Mean You’re On the Right Track 7:03

14 days ago7:03

7:03

If others don’t see who you’re becoming, it doesn’t mean you’re off track. In this episode, we explore why feeling misunderstood might be the strongest evidence you’re walking in integrity. You’ve made the shift. You’ve shown up differently. You’ve honored the internal clarity you didn’t used to have — but others aren’t seeing it yet. They still reference who you used to be. And somewhere inside, you wonder: Am I doing this wrong if no one recognizes it yet? This episode of Identity-Level Recalibration helps reframe that doubt. Julie Holly explores what happens when your identity shifts faster than the story others hold about you — and how that dissonance, while painful, might actually confirm your alignment. You’ll learn about the social reflection loop, how your nervous system reacts to being perceived through an outdated lens, and why holding your new identity — even without external validation — is part of becoming. Through Julie’s personal experience and a fresh founder story featuring Jim McKelvey (Square), you’ll walk away with language for what you’re living through — and a micro-recalibration to help you lead through it. 🔍 In This Episode, We Cover: Why feeling misunderstood doesn’t mean you’re off path What ILR calls the social reflection loop How your nervous system interprets identity dissonance as threat Julie’s real-life shift out of real estate and into ILR Jim McKelvey’s story of vision, misjudgment, and category creation How to resist the urge to return to being “digestible” Why impact doesn’t require recognition — just obedience 🧭 Today’s Micro-Recalibration: Ask yourself: Where have I been waiting to be seen before I act? Where have I toned down my clarity to preserve connection? Anchor this: “Misunderstood doesn’t mean misaligned.” If you lead — in your business, home, or creative work — model what it looks like to stay steady while others recalibrate to your clarity. You’re not here to prove. You’re here to walk in integrity. If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it. Explore Identity-Level Recalibration → Follow Julie Holly on LinkedIn for more recalibration insights → Schedule a conversation with Julie to see if ILR is a fit for you → Download the Misalignment Audit → Subscribe to the weekly newsletter → Join the waitlist for the next ILR cohort…

Identity-Level Recalibration

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#63 You’re Not Selfish — You’re Expanding Beyond the Mold 6:53

15 days ago6:53