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Wondering how to be a terrible daughter? Listen as Elizabeth Malamed and Megan Caper, mental health professionals who also happen to be cousins, discuss growing up in toxic families, surviving narcissistic abuse, and moving forward after trauma. The How To Be a Terrible Daughter podcast is a place to find community, put words to your experience, and laugh at the dark stuff. We’ll share our stories from our own childhoods, make mental health concepts easy to understand, and interview intrigui ...
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020: Me: Maybe it wasn’t abuse? Also Me: Every complex trauma symptom
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51:36
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This week, we’re tackling one of the most unsettling and deeply confusing questions many of us face: Was it abuse? And let’s be honest—if that question keeps showing up like 3 raccoons in a trench coat whispering cryptic messages outside your window at 2 a.m., you might want to investigate. In this episode, we dig into why psychological and emotion…
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019: No, YOU need to manage my anger!
1:14:59
1:14:59
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Anger. The emotion we were taught to fear, suppress, or avoid entirely—especially if we grew up under the reign of a narcissist. In this episode, we rip up the old rulebook on anger and talk about why it’s actually one of the most sacred, transformative forces we have. Turns out, anger isn’t the enemy—it’s a signal, a boundary, a fire that can be c…
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018: Narcissist Escape Room—Just Kidding, You’re Stuck
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52:08
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Not everyone has the luxury of going no-contact with a narcissistic parent, and if that’s your situation, congratulations—you’ve unlocked the expert-level difficulty setting on f*ed up family dynamics. In this episode, we break down why no-contact isn’t always an option (hint: the whole “just cut them out of your life” advice isn’t as simple as it …
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017: Forgiveness: Terms and Conditions Apply
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58:47
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Ah, forgiveness—the gold standard of healing, right? Well, not so fast. When you’ve been through narcissistic abuse, the usual “forgive and move on” advice hits differently (read: doesn’t apply). In this episode, we get into why survivors often feel pressured to forgive before they’ve even processed what the hell happened—and why prioritizing your …
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016: The Casual Demolition of What Little Self-Worth You Have
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In this episode, we wade through the debris of self-esteem left in the wake of growing up with narcissistic parents. It’s not a pretty picture. From the relentless cycle of love bombing to the casual demolition of what little self-worth we managed to scrape together, we unpack the chaotic dynamics that leave us questioning our value. It’s not just …
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Parenting is hard enough without the baggage of a narcissistic childhood, but add that to the mix, and it’s like trying to assemble IKEA furniture with a blowtorch—messy, confusing, and likely to leave you questioning your life choices. In this episode, Elizabeth gets real about the emotional booby traps of raising kids after surviving narcissistic…
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014: Vampires vs Narcissists: You’re Eating Maggots
1:06:34
1:06:34
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We’re off to the movies this week! On How to Be a Terrible Daughter, we’re diving into the 1987 cult classic The Lost Boys. Vampires, family drama, and a killer soundtrack—what’s not to love? But beneath the stylish leather jackets and fangs, this film holds surprising insights for anyone unraveling the complexities of childhood trauma. Join us as …
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013: Shrink Wrap: How to Find a Therapist
1:11:43
1:11:43
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This week, we’re tackling the high-stakes scavenger hunt of finding the right therapist, especially for those of us recovering from narcissistic abuse. Let’s face it—finding a therapist isn’t just about picking the one who looks the least like they’d start a cult. We break down the whole process, from roping in friends and former therapists for rec…
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012: What kind of F*er are you? The four stress responses
1:02:22
1:02:22
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What happens when the place that's supposed to feel the safest—your childhood home—turns out to be the source of your deepest stress? Your nervous system does what it’s designed to do: it kicks into survival mode. In this episode, inspired by Megan’s viral blog post, we explore the four common stress responses: fight, flight, freeze, and the lesser…
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011: Silent Night, Silent Treatment: A Holiday Survival Guide
1:02:29
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The holidays are coming in hot (and so are the guilt trips), but fear not—we’ve got your back. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, or whatever gathering your narcissistic family insists is mandatory, this time of year can feel like an emotional minefield. That’s why we’re kicking off Season 2 with The Holiday Survival Guide. This isn’t your typical …
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In this episode of How to be a Terrible Daughter, we expand on a topic we touched on in previous episode, and it’s a BIG one, boundaries —a concept that might as well have been a foreign language growing up with narcissistic parents. Boundaries weren’t just discouraged; they were often trampled over, leaving us with the difficult task of figuring o…
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In this episode of How to be a Terrible Daughter, we take a stroll through the exhausting, often invisible labor of loneliness that comes with having a narcissistic parent. This isn’t the kind of loneliness where you finally get some peace and quiet—no, this is more like an unpaid internship where you’re emotionally drained and questioning your lif…
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Welcome back to "How to Be a Terrible Daughter!" In this special mailbag episode, we’re diving into your burning questions about surviving and thriving despite narcissistic relationships. We kick things off by discussing how to handle those who get prickly about the term "narcissist"—because let's be honest, it’s not your job to make everyone else …
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Welcome back to "How to Be a Terrible Daughter," where we tackle the gut-wrenching yet necessary step of going no contact with a narcissistic mother. First, let's break down what "no contact" really means, it's not just about ignoring a few phone calls. It's about reclaiming your peace and sanity from the grip of a narcissist. It’s a dreaded yet li…
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006: Grief: It's Not Just for the Dead Anymore!
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In this latest episode of our podcast, we tackle the unique and often misunderstood grief experienced by children of narcissistic parents. We've all been there—grieving someone who's still alive. We dive into how grieving can be a complex and prolonged process, sharing personal stories and insights that many will find all too familiar. From the sub…
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005: Surviving the Narcissist's Greatest Sh*tshow on Earth
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Welcome back to part two of our latest episode on the ins and outs of narcissistic abuse. If you missed our previous talk, here's a quick recap: we explored how this type of abuse differs starkly from other emotional harms. Trust us, it's uniquely troubling. This week, Megan shares a revealing story about a narcissist's distorted view of reality—it…
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004: Narcissistic Abuse: A Carnival of Mind F*ckery
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In this episode, we're going to explore the many subtypes of narcissistic abuse. Yes, there are so many that we need to employ a categorization system. In fact, there are so many that this will be a two-part episode. A core focus will be understanding what makes narcissistic abuse so distinctly damaging compared to other forms of mistreatment. We'l…
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In this episode, Elizabeth and Megan explore the intricate world of attachment wounds, particularly those etched by the icy touch of narcissistic parents. We examine the critical concept of "mirroring" in infancy and the long-term effects these formative experiences have on our adult lives. We’re going to unpack how early relationships—or the lack …
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Join us on this week’s journey into the heart of darkness—okay, maybe just the heart of trauma, but let’s be real, sometimes it feels like the same thing. This week, we’re unearthing the behemoth known as complex trauma in an episode we've aptly named "Jurassic Trauma." Why Jurassic? Because some wounds are as old and as deep as dinosaur bones, and…
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In this first episode, Megan and Elizabeth introduce themselves, talk about growing up in a narcissistic family, and explain why they embraced being terrible daughters. If you’ve been struggling with making sense of your childhood or you want to know more about what emotional abuse looks like, this is the place for you. And if you know that you gre…
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Wondering how to be a terrible daughter? Listen as Elizabeth Malamed and Megan Caper, mental health professionals who also happen to be cousins, discuss growing up in toxic families, surviving narcissistic abuse, and moving forward after trauma. The How To Be a Terrible Daughter podcast is a place to find community, put words to your experience, an…
…
continue reading
