ADHD, Self-Trust, and Breaking Free from External Validation

Authentically ADHD with Carmen

In this episode of Authentically ADHD, host Carmen explores the complex relationship between ADHD, self-confidence, and the constant need for external validation. For many adults with ADHD, self-worth has often been shaped by a lifetime of criticism, and this episode dives deep into how that reliance on others' approval can undermine self-trust. Carmen outlines why ADHDers tend to seek external validation and offers practical strategies for reclaiming control over self-evaluation.

In the first segment, Carmen explains the concept of an external locus of evaluation and how ADHD can lead to an overwhelming reliance on others for reassurance. She shares relatable examples of how this pattern develops from childhood and its impact on adulthood. The episode then introduces the psychological mechanism of the complementary moral defense, which emerges as a response to repeated criticism and can lead to overworking, people-pleasing, and chronic self-criticism.

Moving into the third segment, Carmen discusses why it's especially important for ADHDers to cultivate an internal locus of evaluation. Relying on internal validation not only promotes self-trust but also breaks the cycle of people-pleasing and constant doubt. The episode closes with seven actionable strategies to help ADHDers develop self-trust, including identifying core values, tracking small wins, practicing self-validation, and building self-compassion.

Carmen encourages listeners to start small and shift from seeking external praise to trusting their own judgment. She leaves listeners with a hopeful reminder that their ADHD brains are wired for creativity and resilience, and self-trust is key to unlocking their potential.

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