How to Manage Emotions in Performance Management Conversations

Conflict Skills

In today's episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast with host Simon Goode, we dive into the crucial topic of managing emotions during performance management meetings. Simon, a seasoned professional mediator, addresses the challenges often faced in these meetings, especially when conflict escalates. He explores various de-escalation strategies tailored for performance management conversations by focusing on five key aspects: certainty, relatedness, autonomy, status, and fairness. Simon also discusses the importance of balancing assertiveness with empathy, offering step-by-step insights into how to maintain composure through both verbal and nonverbal communication. Whether you're aiming to foster collaboration or need to take a more direct approach, Simon's guidance in this episode provides valuable tools to help navigate performance-related discussions effectively. Tune in to learn how to keep these crucial conversations more productive and less contentious.

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EPISODE SUMMARY:

1. Understanding Performance Management Conflicts
   • Performance management processes as potentially adversarial.
   • Natural combativeness and defensive responses.
   • Approach to de-escalation in performance management settings.
   • Balancing assertiveness and empathy.
2. De-escalation Skills and Their Application
   • Overview of five aspects: certainty, relatedness, autonomy, status, and fairness.
   • Individual context-based approach to either assertiveness or empathy.
   • Five options for responding to conflict: competing, compromising, accommodating, avoiding, collaborating.
3. De-escalation Strategy: Certainty
   • Providing certainty through information about what to expect.
   • Discussing behavior, consequences, and facts.
   • Transparency and specificity in addressing issues.
4. De-escalation Strategy: Relatedness
   • Demonstrating understanding and empathy.
   • Allowing questions and pausing to slow the pace.
   • Addressing emotions and processing time.
5. De-escalation Strategy: Autonomy
   • Giving a sense of control over the meeting and issue.
   • Offering choices and soliciting input on problem-solving.
6. De-escalation Strategy: Status
   • Making the person feel important.
   • Acknowledging contributions and separating issue from personal attributes.
7. De-escalation Strategy: Fairness
   • Allowing responses and questions.
   • Implementing transparent processes and outlining change expectations.
8. Nonverbal Aspects of De-escalation
   • Voice tone, volume, and pace adjustments.
   • Facial expression and body language considerations.
   • Maintaining a composed presence to influence meeting dynamics.

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website: simongoode.com
email: [email protected]

Chapters

1. Introduction and Overview (00:00:00)

2. The Nature of Performance Management Conflicts (00:00:53)

3. De-escalation Skills: Assertion vs. Empathy (00:02:13)

4. Five Aspects of De-escalation (00:04:52)

5. Certainty (00:09:25)

6. Relatedness (00:13:20)

7. Autonomy (00:16:43)

8. Status (00:19:58)

9. Fairness (00:23:02)

10. Nonverbal Communication (00:27:12)

11. Conclusion and Contact Information (00:32:20)