How to handle competing twin needs when they’re both urgent

Dad's Guide to Twins

As a father of twins who has weathered countless “double emergencies,” I’m here to tell you that yes, you will survive those moments when both babies need you desperately at the exact same time.

Whether it’s one spitting up while the other has a diaper explosion, or both wailing for different urgent reasons, these situations are inevitable with twins.

Here’s my battle-tested approach to handling these high-stress moments.

First, Take a Deep Breath

It sounds simple, but it’s crucial. When both twins are in crisis mode, your stress level skyrockets. Take a 3-second deep breath. This micro-pause helps you think more clearly and approach the situation with a calmer mindset. Remember: neither baby will suffer permanent damage if you take a moment to collect yourself.

Assess and Prioritize

Quickly assess which situation is more urgent:

• Is either baby in danger? (Choking, breathing issues, bleeding)
• Which situation will worsen more quickly if not addressed?
• Which baby is more distressed?

For example, in the spit-up vs. diaper blowout scenario, the spit-up usually needs immediate attention if it’s affecting breathing, while the diaper situation, though messy, can wait an extra minute.

Create a Safe Spot for the “Wait” Baby

Keep designated safe spots in key areas of your home where you can place one baby while tending to the other:

• A secured swing
• A crib or playpen
• A bouncer seat with harness
• A safely positioned car seat (on the floor, never elevated)
• On a blanket on the floor

Even if they’re crying, knowing they’re safe allows you to focus on the more urgent need.

The Contain and Return Method

Let’s imagine that you’ve got one twin spitting up and the other with a diaper blowout. Here’s what you could do:

1. Place the blowout baby on a waterproof changing pad in a safe area
2. Quickly wipe any spit-up from the first baby’s mouth/nose and position them to prevent choking
3. Return to the blowout baby to start the cleanup and change that diaper
4. Go back and forth as needed, dealing with the most critical aspects of each situation first

Preparation Is Your Best Defense

Having strategic supplies positioned throughout your home will save you countless times:

• Keep fully stocked changing stations in multiple rooms
• Place burp cloths and wipes in every room where you spend time with the twins
• Use waterproof mats under babies whenever possible
• Keep a “quick-change” bag with diapers, wipes, and a change of clothes in your main living area

Use What You Have

In true emergencies, get creative:

• A clean kitchen towel can temporarily contain a blowout
• Paper towels can handle spit-up if burp cloths aren’t within reach
• A towel on the floor can become an impromptu changing station

It is OK to improvise. Just keep your babies’ safety your number one priority.

Call for Backup When Possible

If someone else is home or nearby:

• Use a specific, direct request: “I need you to take the baby in the blue onesie right now”
• Assign the simpler task to your helper if they’re less experienced (like asking a young child to bring you a diaper for their baby brother)
• Don’t waste time explaining everything—just get the immediate help

The Aftermath

Once both situations are under control:

• Give yourself credit for handling it
• Clean yourself up if needed
• Take a moment to reset before moving on
• Don’t forget this moment as it should give you confidence handling future craziness

Remember This Truth

Every twin dad has been through these double emergencies. What feels impossible now will become just another Tuesday in a few months. Your ability to handle these situations will improve dramatically with experience.

The fact that you’re reading this article means you care deeply about being there for both of your babies. That commitment is what matters most—not whether you handled a particular situation perfectly.

Trust me when I say: you’ve got this. And when you don’t feel like you’ve got this, just do the next right thing for whichever baby needs it most urgently, then move to the next.

Before you know it, you’ll be the one giving advice to new twin dads.

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