#1269 - Mumming: Why Trying (and Failing) Still Counts

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

What if failing to be the perfect parent was the point all along?

In this raw and deeply moving preview episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the heart, humour, and humanity behind Mumming—a memoir by Victoria Vanstone about a year of trying (and failing) to be a better parent. From shouty moments to terrifying near-loss, Victoria’s journey reminds us that imperfection is part of the gig. Because parenting isn’t about getting it right. It’s about showing up, loving fiercely, and doing the best we can.

KEY POINTS

• Perfection is overrated: Victoria Vanstone's story is a refreshing reminder that parenting doesn’t require perfection—it just asks for presence and persistence.
• Imperfection can be a superpower: By owning her flaws, Victoria models growth and authenticity—for herself and her children.

• Love always involves risk: Whether it’s sending your teen to the plaza or surviving a choking emergency, parenting requires us to let go—and that’s terrifying and transformative.

• Identity as a parent takes time: Mumming is as much about self-discovery as it is about raising kids. Who we want to be isn’t always who we are—but we can still move in the right direction.
• Humour and honesty heal: Victoria’s writing blends wit, wisdom, and the kind of vulnerability that helps parents everywhere feel less alone.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“So long as you’re trying, you’re not actually failing.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Mumming by Victoria Vanstone (book)
• Full interview available on the Happy Families podcast (Saturday drop)
• happyfamilies.com.au – for more parenting resources

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. Embrace your imperfections. Notice where you feel like you’re “failing” and reframe it—what effort or love lies beneath?
2. Talk honestly with your kids. Share age-appropriate truths about your struggles or mistakes. It builds trust and models growth.
3. Laugh at the mess. Use humour as a way to connect and ease the tension that comes with everyday parenting chaos.
4. Let love stretch you. Whether it’s letting go of control or facing fear, love will always ask something big of you. Step into that stretch.
5. Read something real. Pick up Mumming or another memoir that normalises the messy beauty of parenting. You’re not alone.

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