#1279 - Parenting Alone in a Marriage: How to Gently Reconnect and Rebuild

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Are you carrying the mental and emotional load of parenting solo—even though you have a partner? You're not imagining it. You're not alone. And it doesn't have to stay this way. In this episode of the Happy Families podcast, Justin and Kylie dive into one of the most common (and quietly painful) challenges parents face: feeling like you're parenting alone in a relationship.

With warmth, realism, and practical insight, we share four powerful—but gentle—ways to invite your partner back into the parenting picture. Whether you’re feeling unheard, unsupported, or just out of sync, these small steps can lead to big transformation.

KEY POINTS:

1. Appreciation Inventory: What we focus on grows. Before you confront, notice. Daily acknowledgements of your partner’s efforts—even small ones—can shift the dynamic.
2. Collaborative Conversations: Use the three E’s of effective discipline (Explore, Explain, Empower) not just with kids, but with each other. Invite, don’t assign.
3. Gradual Invitations: Don’t expect an overnight fix. Start small, with one area of natural interest, and build from there. Success breeds success.
4. Role Modelling Matters: We become like the people we surround ourselves with. Seeing engaged parenting modeled—especially by other dads—can have a powerful ripple effect.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“People move towards positive energy. People really love appreciation. They tend to be repelled by criticism.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• The Three E’s of Effective Discipline
• Family Meetings
• The Heliotropic Effect
• Happy Families resources at happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:
1. Spend a week noticing and commenting on what your partner is doing.
2. Replace “we need to talk” with curiosity: What are you noticing about bedtime?
3. Choose one small area where your partner is already engaged—and invite them to go deeper.
4. Encourage connections with friends who model engaged parenting.

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