#24 - Words That Wound: How Everyday Language Shapes Gender Respect with Rachael Natoli

Engaging Conversations | Inspiring Dialogue, Empowering Communities

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What we say reveals who we are—especially when we think no one's listening.
Rachael Natoli, founder of Lokahi Foundation, brings raw honesty and practical wisdom to our conversation about the language that shapes attitudes toward women and ultimately fuels violence. As a mother raising twin boys and leading a foundation supporting abuse survivors, Rachel occupies a unique position at the intersection of personal experience and professional advocacy.
We explore how casual phrases like "boys will be boys" create the foundation for disrespect that can escalate to abuse. Rachael shares a striking story about her son, who was raised in a home that was hyper-aware of language and who is still absorbed concerning attitudes from external influences. This reality check illustrates the powerful cultural forces working against families trying to raise respectful young men.
The conversation takes us through the critical spaces where change must happen—from locker rooms where men speak freely when women aren't present to workplaces where young apprentices navigate established cultures to online spaces where algorithms can rapidly lead young men toward toxic content. Rachel offers practical strategies for men to challenge disrespect without confrontation and explains why male voices are essential in this movement.
Perhaps most thought-provoking is Rachael's reframing of feminism—not as a radical position, but simply as the belief in gender equality. When even women hesitate to embrace this label, how can we build the unified approach needed to address a crisis where police respond to domestic violence every three minutes in NSW alone?
Ready to move beyond awareness to meaningful action? Listen now to discover how everyday conversations and small acts of courage can help build communities where respect isn't optional—it's expected.

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Chapters

1. Welcome to Rachel Natoli's Story (00:00:00)

2. Language and Gender Inequality (00:03:07)

3. "Boys Will Be Boys" Mentality (00:06:50)

4. Role Models and Digital Influences (00:11:59)

5. Workplace Culture and Community Leadership (00:22:09)

6. Feminism and Creating Meaningful Change (00:28:04)

7. Taking Action and Final Thoughts (00:33:14)