How to rewrite the "rules" of friendship-- Interview with Morgan Debaun of Blavity, Inc. and author of "Rewrite Your Rules"

Friend Forward

#Society #Relationship #Femalefriendship #Friendadvice #Friendship #Danielle Bayard Jackson -- Female Friendship Expert

1:40:41

Episode Notes [00:00] The Power of Vulnerability [01:57] Meet Ashley Kirsner [03:55] The Impact of Active Listening [05:02] A Transformative Call [06:25] The Magic of Open-Ended Questions [13:28] The Role of Basic Needs in Emotional Well-being [17:10] The Birth of Skip the Small Talk [25:18] The First Skip the Small Talk Event [28:39] The Evolution of Skip the Small Talk [32:56] Online Events During COVID-19 [34:58] Work At An Anxiety Lab [38:08] The Importance of Positive Questions [42:40] The Power of Repeated Questions [45:33] Attending a Skip the Small Talk Event [46:14] The Speed Dating Format [47:21] Encouraging Anxious Participants [48:45] The Power of Sharing Deeply [49:32] Consistent Findings on Vulnerability [50:13] Understanding Oversharing [51:11] Structure and Time Management [52:18] Facilitators and Norms [53:12] Contact Information Norms [55:06] Intentional Iteration and Safety [56:37] The Role of Participants [59:01] Financial Accessibility and Investment [01:00:43] Balancing Accessibility and Compensation [01:01:49] Compensating Facilitators [01:04:39] Physiological Benefits of Deep Conversations [01:07:00] Research on Loneliness and Connection [01:09:02] The Impact of Loneliness on Health [01:10:41] The Role of Sleep in Connection [01:13:42] The Importance of Group Interactions [01:15:10] The Power of Intentional Conversations [01:20:26] Learning from Gathering Experts [01:23:19] Right Now Question & Following Curiosity [01:30:18] Where You Can Find Skip The Small Talk [01:35:45] Takeaway Thoughts & Questions Resources Mentioned Skip The Small Talk Chris Voss Finding Good with Brian Fretwell Dr. Nicholas Epley DBT - Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Brene Brown How We Gather by Priya Parker Power of Ritual by Casper ter Kuile How We Gather by Dr. Angie Thurston - Harvard Divinity School Death of Rasputin Harvard Graduate School of Education Harvard Wharton Business School MIT GE Aviation Act Blue Beauty Pill Producer Ben Ford Questions Asked When did you first understand the power of questions? How would this possibly work? What are we doing here? How could this possibly be effective? What is it that asking questions actually does for us? In this deep end of the pool, for what you experience as a suicide hotline counselor, what does that look like? How did that impact you? Were there questions that you found most impactful on that end? Are you feeling suicidal right now? Do you have a weapon? Do you have a plan? Do you have any objects to complete that plan with you right now? Are you comfortable being in a different room from it while we're having this conversation? When's the last time you slept? When's the last time you ate? Can we get some food in you? Can we take a walk? Do they know anything you're experiencing right now? If the roles were reversed and it were your partner or your cousin or your parent who were going through something like this, would you want them to tell you about it? Do you think they wanna know if you're going through a tough time? What if we had a space where we were all on the same page? Can you take a moment to go home and be a little more vulnerable with your roommate, partner, family, or neighbors? Can you take that skill with you into the rest of your life? How are you doing right now? How did you decide to do your first skip-the-small-talk event? When's the next one gonna be? Is this even possible? How do you have people switch partners in a way that makes sense online? How do we do this? What do you got for us? How do we do this for like hundreds of people? Can you talk about that story of where you pulled the questions from, and why you chose the different questions that you did? Where do you live? What do you like about where you live? What's the worst thing you've ever experienced? When's the last time you cried? When's the last time you experienced awe? What's something you're proud of that you don't normally get to share with people or that might not be on a resume? Specifically asking what are pieces of yourself that you don't normally get to share? What is a favorite ice cream? What was something that this organization has done right to help you? What do you think it is about the structure that allows for that to happen? What other elements are at play here? Finances would be a barrier, can you help me out? Do you wanna do it for free? Due to your position in society, does it make you more or less likely to go to prison? How can we do subtle things so that you don't have to necessarily out yourself as having an invisible disability, but still get your needs met? How can we make people with marginalized identities feel comfortable opening up? How do we make those spaces feel safer? What is your right now question? What makes an experience awesome? What makes storytelling awesome? Why was this moment so powerful? Why do we dim the lights a little at dinner parties What little things can you do to trick your physiology to be more immersed in an experience? Does doing a new novel activity with someone, trick your brain into being more excited about hanging out with someone? How can you make these memories more tactile? What does the tablecloth feel like? What do the napkins feel like? Can you just do five more of these? Can we do this throughout the year? What assumptions are you making about how much others want to know about your inner world, and how might testing those assumptions change your relationships? How might your community benefit from structured opportunities to practice deeper connection, and what role could you play in creating those spaces? If you treated meaningful conversation as essential to your health, as sleep or exercise, how would that change your daily priorities and choices? Are your questions designed to extract information or to create conditions where others can share the best parts of themselves?…

about a year ago 25:29

MP3•Episode home

In this episode of the Friend Forward podcast, host Danielle Bard Jackson interviews Morgan Debaun, co-founder and CEO of Blavity and author of "Rewrite Your Rules" about ways to rewrite the rules that govern our friendships. This episode encourages listeners to interrogate their default settings in friendships and to embrace new ways of connecting with others, especially as high-achieving women.

Get Morgan's new book here.
Join Friendship Elevated Group Coaching for your (last?) chance to work with Danielle.
Become a member of "Office Hours" for access to full episodes, bonus content, and supplementary material.
Book Danielle to speak at your event (or design women's relational health content, programming, or curriculum for your organization) by contacting info@tellpublicrelations.com

---------------------------------------------------------------

This episode is sponsored by the new Women's Relational Health Institute.

Interested in becoming a women's relational health coach (trained by Danielle Bayard Jackson)? Contact us for details at team@womensrelationalhealthinstitute.com.

238 episodes

How to rewrite the "rules" of friendship-- Interview with Morgan Debaun of Blavity, Inc. and author of "Rewrite Your Rules"

Friend Forward

22 subscribers

published about a year ago

MP3•Episode home

Get Morgan's new book here.
Join Friendship Elevated Group Coaching for your (last?) chance to work with Danielle.
Become a member of "Office Hours" for access to full episodes, bonus content, and supplementary material.
Book Danielle to speak at your event (or design women's relational health content, programming, or curriculum for your organization) by contacting info@tellpublicrelations.com

---------------------------------------------------------------

This episode is sponsored by the new Women's Relational Health Institute.

Interested in becoming a women's relational health coach (trained by Danielle Bayard Jackson)? Contact us for details at team@womensrelationalhealthinstitute.com.

238 episodes

#Society #Relationship #Femalefriendship #Friendadvice #Friendship #Danielle Bayard Jackson -- Female Friendship Expert

All episodes

Friend Forward

1
The unique stress that women face (and how social support helps us through it) 28:50

4 days ago28:50

28:50

In this episode of the Friend Forward podcast, host Danielle Bayard Jackson explores the unique stressors that women face and how their friendships serve as a crucial buffer against these stressors. The conversation delves into the biological, ecological, and social dimensions of stress, emphasizing the importance of perceived social support. Danielle also discusses various studies that highlight the benefits of female friendships on mental and physical health, workplace dynamics, and overall well-being. For members of the Friend Forward Patron Community ( "Office Hours" ), there's bonus material where the host also provides four practical strategies for inviting more social support into one's life, encouraging listeners to prioritize their friendships and seek help when needed. SOURCE: The book Danielle referenced throughout the episode is "Stress, Social Support, and Women" by Stevan E. Hobfoll. -------------------- Want to become a women's relational health coach like Danielle? Join the free "lunch and learn" on Wednesday, August 13 at 1pm EST. Visit the "certification" page at womensrelationalhealthinstitute.com. ---------------------- Want Danielle to design and present an engaging and informative presentation about women's conflict and connection at your next event? Contact us at daniellebayardjackson.com . --------------------- Follow Danielle on socials @daniellebayardjackson…

Friend Forward

1
How to create "community care plans" within your female friendships // A conversation with Dr. Ashley Gaddy Robbins 21:18

17 days ago21:18

21:18

In this conversation, Dr. Ashley Gaddy Robbins discusses the importance of community care as a form of resistance, emphasizing the mutual support and holistic care that communities provide. Alongside host and women's friendship expect Danielle Bayard Jackson, Dr. Robbins defines community care, shares strategies for engaging women in community care, and addresses common challenges faced by individuals in seeking connection. Dr. Robbins highlights the significance of self-assessment and shared values in building community, and introduces everyday resistance strategies that can empower individuals to take action in their lives and communities. ------------------------- Access the full episode as a member of "Office Hours" (our Patreon community). Join anytime at betterfemalefriendships.com/podcast -------------------------- Book Danielle to share evidence-based insights on women's conflict and cooperation at your next event by contacting samantha@tellpublicrelations.com. _____________________ Follow Danielle Bayard Jackson on Instagram Follow Friend Forward on Instagram Follow Dr. Robbins on Instagram…

Friend Forward

1
How to be 'helpable' (and the power of the "Benjamin Franklin Effect") 21:57

4 weeks ago21:57

21:57

Why is it hard to ask our friends for help? What are the benefits of becoming "help-seeking" women in our friendships? And once we do get the nerve to ask for support, how can we do it in a way that actually motivates people to show up for us? This is a pretty research-heavy episode, and it's going to finally allow you to exhale. Truly. Because host Danielle Bayard Jackson answering these questions and more on this episode of the Friend Forward podcast. Want more? This is an excerpt of our most recent episode. To enjoy the full episode, we encourage you to become a member of "Office Hours", our private Patreon community. You can join us any time at betterfemalefriendships.com/podcast. ------------------------------ Event TAMPA: Join us for "Book Swap with Heart" on July 27 at Hotel Haya in historic Ybor City from 2pm-4pm. Get your tickets here. Want to book Danielle to share her research-based insights on women's relational health at your upcoming event? Connect with her team at samantha@tellpublicrelations.com. ------------------------------- Stay connected Connect with us on Instagram @friendforward Connect with Danielle on Instagram @daniellebayardjackson Learn more about relational health expert Danielle Bayard Jackson at daniellebayardjackson.com…

Friend Forward

1
"Tell me what you want, what you really, really want."// 5 Most Common Contradictory Friendship Goals 25:05

5 weeks ago25:05

25:05

In this episode of the Friend Forward podcast, resident friendship coach and women's relational health expert Danielle Bayard Jackson delves into five of the most common contradictions women face in their relational goals. Together we'll explore contradictions like the desire for siloed friendships versus wanting a friend group; and the temptation to hide your needs while always wanting to be deeply known. Through these discussions, Danielle offers insights and strategies for reconciling these conflicting desires to foster healthier relationships. ------- Want to enjoy the full episode? Become an "Office Hours" member today by registering on betterfemalefriendships.com/podcast . ------- Need a relational health coach to help you with a current issue? One-on-one sessions for the summer are available for the next 4 weeks. Book a session before August 11 and receive an additional 30-minute follow-up session complimentary. Visit betterfemalefriendships.com to book today. ---------- Want to book Danielle for your (virtual or in-person) Fall 2025 event? Inquire today by contacting us at samantha@tellpublicrelations.com…

Friend Forward

1
Women feel more "interpersonal guilt" than men. Here's how that's impacting our female friendships. 23:40

6 weeks ago23:40

23:40

If you had one week where you couldn't experience guilt, how would that change your friendships? Would you end relationships? Would you set boundaries? Would you ask for help? Would you pull away from your family to spend more time with friends without feeling bad about it? These questions were sparked by the book I'm reading, "The Guilt Pill" by Saumya Dave. In it, the main character, Maya, takes a new pill that numbs the part of her brain that feels guilt and... well, it's quite a ride. So I read four studies about women's guilt and in this episode I'll unpack what I discovered. Then we'll look at ways that our perpetual "interpersonal guilt" shapes the decisions we make in our friendships... and the surprising dangers and benefits that come of it. Here are the 4 studies we review in the episode: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9373443/ https://www.ipsos.com/en-us/80-women-recognize-value-self-nurture-yet-few-care-selves-they-care-others https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/bjso.12575 https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/spanish-journal-of-psychology/article/abs/intensity-of-habitual-guilt-in-men-and-women-differences-in-interpersonal-sensitivity-and-the-tendency-towards-anxiousaggressive-guilt/8646A546F01B6ABF51C9C6F1EF0620A1 ---------- Want to hear the extended episode? Become a member of "Office Hours" for full episodes, BONUS episodes, resources, book clubs, and more. See you at betterfemalefriendships.com/podcast…

Friend Forward

1
Is ChatGPT impacting your friendships? These 7 questions will help you to know for sure. 24:17

7 weeks ago24:17

24:17

In this episode of the Friend Forward podcast, host Danielle Bayard Jackson explores the complex relationship between artificial intelligence, specifically ChatGPT, and women's friendships. This episode offers seven questions that equip you to evaluate and interrogate ways that your ChatGPT use might be impacting the breadth, depth, and quality of your social landscape. NOTE: You are listening to a complimentary excerpt of the full episode which is housed exclusively in "Office Hours", our private Patreon community (the full episode is 40 minutes). You can join any time by visiting betterfemalefriendships.com/podcast.…

Friend Forward

1
No, she's not (always) "gaslighting" you // a conversation about "therapy speak" during friendship conflict with Dr. Isabelle Morley 18:42

8 weeks ago18:42

18:42

In this conversation, Dr. Isabelle Morley (author of the book " They're not gaslighting you ") and host Danielle Bayard Jackson discuss the increasing prevalence of therapy-related language in everyday conversations, particularly in the context of friendships and conflicts. They explore the definitions and nuances of terms like gaslighting, narcissism, and boundaries, emphasizing the importance of using these terms responsibly. The discussion highlights the dangers of social media in shaping perceptions of relationships and the need for more thoughtful communication. Ultimately, they encourage listeners to focus on feelings and personal empowerment rather than labeling others. RESOURCES NOTE: To the members of "Office Hours", we created a quick guide to equip you with alternatives for words like "gaslight" and "narcissist". (Not a member of "Office Hours"? Join now by visiting betterfemalefriendships.com/podcast ) --------------------- SPEAKING Want to book Danielle to speak about the science of women's conflict and connection at your Fall event? Reach out to the team at info@tellpublicrelations.com to inquire today. [View her speaking reel here .] --------------------- BOOK CLUB Want Danielle to (virtually) visit your book club? Buy your copy of Fighting for our Friendships and then contact us at hello@betterfemalefriendships.com.…

Friend Forward

1
When life transitions impact your friendships: A conversation with Almost 30 hosts Lindsey Simcik and Krista Williams 32:08

9 weeks ago32:08

32:08

Want to two friends discuss the life transitions that strained their friendship? In this conversation, Krista Williams and Lindsey Simcik, co-hosts of the Almost 30 podcast (title of their new book!), share their journey of navigating friendships through various life transitions. They discuss the evolution of their friendship, the challenges they faced, and the lessons learned from conflicts. The conversation highlights the importance of trust, communication, and the ebb and flow of relationships, especially as women experience significant life changes. They also address common friendship issues faced by women and offer insights on how to maintain deep connections despite life's challenges. ------------ Grab your complimentary guide on navigating life transitions with friends by becoming a member of "Office Hours". betterfemalefriendships.com/podcast Buy "Almost 30: A definitive guide to a life you love for the next decade and beyond" here…

Friend Forward

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Trees, cars, and sidewalks: How poor urban planning hurts your social life // a conversation with Fatima Elkott, urban planner 20:10

11 weeks ago20:10

20:10

Okay, I know I shouldn't have favorites but this episode (and this guest!) might really be in my top 10 favorite episodes that we've produced in the show's five-year history. In this conversation, urban planner Fatima Elkott discusses the significance of city design in shaping our environments and social interactions. She emphasizes the impact of urban planning on community engagement, the importance of creating third spaces, and the role of civic participation in urban planning. Elkott also addresses social inequities in urban design and shares examples of her favorite thoughtful urban spaces that foster connection and joy. Note: This is an excerpt from the full episode, which is available exclusively on Patreon. Join us anytime at betterfemalefriendships.com/podcast . ---------------------------------- ** Book Danielle to speak at your conference, seminar, or retreat by contacting info@tellpublicrelations.com (and view her speaking reel here ). -------------------------------------------------------------------- SPONSOR: TELL Public Relations When Danielle Bayard Jackson launched Friend Forward seven years ago, people were laughing at the idea of a "friendship coach". Now, she's one of the most sought-after experts on women's conflict and connection. If you're wondering how to get the same kind of visibility for your business, it might be time to being in a partner. Visit tellpublicrelations.com to learn how you can increase your visibility and brand authority with speaking engagements, television appearances, podcast interviews, and true community engagement.…

Friend Forward

1
"It's just easier to be friends with guys" -- a sentiment we need to unpack. 13:55

12 weeks ago13:55

13:55

In this episode of the Friend Forward podcast, host Danielle Bayard Jackson delves into the complexities of women's friendships, particularly the perception that friendships with men are easier. She explores various factors contributing to this belief, including differences in: conversation styles bonding rituals emotional expectations safety concerns Through research and personal reflections, Danielle emphasizes the importance of understanding these dynamics and encourages listeners to appreciate the value of both male and female friendships. Note: This is an excerpt from the full episode, which is available exclusively on Patreon. Join us anytime at betterfemalefriendships.com/podcast . ---------------------------------- ** Book Danielle to speak at your conference, seminar, or retreat by contacting info@tellpublicrelations.com (and view her speaking reel here ). --------------------------------- Thanks to our sponsor TELL PUBLIC RELATIONS. If you've ever wondered how friendship expert Danielle Bayard Jackson is able to elevate her brand through speaking engagements, podcast interviews, and television appearances, learn more at tellpublicrelations.com and see how we can get the same visibility for your brand. TELLPUBLICRELATIONS.COM…

Friend Forward

1
Surprising ways that the "mother wound" shows up in female friendships // with Dr. Dylesia, mother-daughter trauma recovery expert 22:44

13 weeks ago22:44

22:44

In this conversation, host and friendship expert Danielle Bayard Jackson and Dr. Dylesia ( @drdylesia ) -- an expert on mother-daughter trauma and estrangement-- explore the intricate dynamics of mother-daughter relationships and how they influence women's friendships in adulthood. They discuss the concept of 'mother wounds' and how unresolved issues with mothers can manifest in adult friendships. The conversation emphasizes the importance of understanding these dynamics, identifying healthy versus dysfunctional relationships, and the role of curiosity and therapy in healing. Dr. Dylesia shares personal insights and practical advice for women seeking to improve their friendships and navigate their emotional landscapes. ------------------------- Follow us on Instagram @friendforward ------------------------- SPONSOR: TELL Public Relations When Danielle Bayard Jackson launched Friend Forward seven years ago, people were laughing at the idea of a "friendship coach". Now, she's one of the most sought-after experts on women's conflict and connection. If you're wondering how to get the same kind of visibility for your business, it might be time to being in a partner. Visit tellpublicrelations.com to learn how you can increase your visibility and brand authority with speaking engagements, television appearances, podcast interviews, and true community engagement.…

Friend Forward

1
THIS is the reason you have "friend fatigue": A reflection on the power of "friend-life integration" 17:37

13 weeks ago17:37

17:37

In this episode of the Friend Forward podcast, host Danielle Bayard Jackson explores the concept of 'friend fatigue,' a growing concern among women in their thirties and forties who are overwhelmed by their lack of "friend-life integration". Danielle discusses the emotional and social labor involved in maintaining friendships, particularly in the context of modern life, which often prioritizes isolation and independence. Drawing on research and cultural comparisons, Danielle emphasizes the importance of integrating friendships into daily life and offers strategies for fostering social connections amidst busy schedules. ------------------------- Follow us on Instagram: @friendforward *We reserve extended episodes, bonus clips, and virtual events (including book club!) for members of "Office Hours". Join any time at betterfemalefriendship.com/podcast. **Want to learn how to be a women's relational health coach like Danielle? Join a webinar to learn how you can be trained and equipped to help women navigate their most pressing friendship issues by visiting womensrelationalhealthinstitute.com…

Friend Forward

1
4 Things We're Getting Wrong about "Third Places" with host Danielle Bayard Jackson 20:12

14 weeks ago20:12

20:12

In this episode of the Friend Forward podcast, host Danielle Bayard Jackson explores the concept of 'third places'—social environments that are neither home nor work. She discusses the decline of these spaces, the importance of physical proximity (propinquity) in fostering relationships, and the goals individuals should consider when seeking out third places. Danielle emphasizes the need for inclusivity, particularly regarding gender, and encourages listeners to diversify their social needs by engaging consistently in various third places. The episode concludes with actionable homework for listeners to identify and commit to local third places. -------------------------- *Join our free webinar "6 Barriers to Friend-Making for Modern Women (and How to Overcome Them)" at betterfemalefriendships.com/webinar **Want to learn how to be a women's relational health coach like Danielle? Join a webinar to learn how you can be trained and equipped to help women navigate their most pressing friendship issues by visiting womensrelationalhealthinstitute.com…

Friend Forward

1
The Role of Proximity and Perception in Women's Friendships 22:32

15 weeks ago22:32

22:32

In this episode of the Friend Forward podcast, host Danielle Bayard Jackson presents three hard truths about: the shrinking nature of our social networks the importance of physical proximity in forming friendships and the subjective nature of friendship quality By sharing research findings and personal insights, Jackson encourages listeners to take proactive steps in enhancing their social connections and understanding the dynamics of their relationships. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: May 11 Live Webinar: "6 Cultural and Environmental Barriers to Friend-Making for Adult Women" Register at betterfemalefriendships.com/webinar Are you the unofficial "coach" of your friend group? Become certified as a women's relational health coach and you can be helping more women (while enjoying a profitable business). Learn more by visiting womensrelationalhealthinstitute.com. Enjoy full episodes and bonus resources as a member of "Office Hours", our private community. Become a member at betterfemalefriendships.com/podcast THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSOR, TELL PUBLIC RELATIONS If you've been watching the growth of Danielle Bayard Jackson and the Friend Forward brand (speaking engagements, podcast appearances - ahem, Mel Robbins! -global partnerships, book deals, speaking engagements and more), and you'd like to experience that visibility for your own brand, we can help. Join our 4-week "Visibility Summer School" to spend a FRACTION of the price it would cost to hire a publicist and begin getting the shine that you deserve. Learn more at tellpublicrelations.com. ** Follow Danielle on Instagram **…

Friend Forward

1
Communal v. Exchange Relationships and the Reasons Some Friends "Keep Score" 20:18

17 weeks ago20:18