On Isolation vs Solitude or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love 50 Cent (Reflections on May)

Friendless

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35:24

Let’s talk about adulting— actual adulting. Not just paying bills or keeping a houseplant alive, but the kind that involves emotional maturity, healthy boundaries, and conscious self-leadership. Because let’s be honest, most of us weren’t taught how to be fully functioning adults… and it shows. Joining us is Michelle Chalfant , licensed therapist turned holistic life coach, creator of The Adult Chair® model, and author of the new book The Adult Chair: Get Unstuck, Claim Your Power, and Transform Your Life . With millions reached through her podcast, coaching programs, and retreats, she’s here to walk us through the five pillars of being a healthy, grounded adult. Here’s the truth: being an adult isn’t about checking boxes or pretending you’re fine. It’s about owning your truth. Feeling your feelings. Practicing compassion without letting yourself off the hook. It’s about setting firm boundaries—with no need for justification—and recognizing that your triggers are not flaws, they’re clues. None of us were handed a guidebook for how to grow up emotionally. We inherited patterns from people who were figuring it out as they went. But what Michelle shares today is empowering: it’s never too late to unlearn what no longer serves you and become the adult you were meant to be. Whether you’re starting this work or knee-deep in your personal development era, this episode will meet you where you are—and help you move forward with clarity, self-trust, and strength. Connect with Michelle: Website: https://theadultchair.com/ Book: https://theadultchair.com/book IG: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant/?hl=en FB: https://www.facebook.com/@TheMichelleChalfant/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/michellechalfant Related Podcast Episodes: How To Build Emotionally Mature Leaders with Dr. Christie Smith | 272 Boundaries vs. Ultimatums with Jan & Jillian Yuhas | 297 Gentleness: Cultivating Compassion for Yourself and Others with Courtney Carver | 282 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…

24 days ago 59:14

MP4•Episode home

James also answers listener questions about friendship clichés, the concept of seasonal friendships, and the difference between intentional solitude and involuntary isolation. Along the way, he offers practical tools like time-blocking and journaling for anyone navigating their own journey of connection and self-understanding.

To top it off, James shares some of his favourite songs of the month, sets intentions for June, and encourages listeners to embrace the messy work of being authentically themselves.

Whether you’re seeking insight on relationships, battling your own solitude, or just wanting a good playlist, this episode is packed with relatable moments, gentle challenges, and a whole lot of heart.

Tune in, get comfy, and join James for a real talk about the complicated beauty of being friendless—and finding your own way through it.

Listen to the May playlist on Spotify HERE

Follow Friendless on TikTok

and on Instagram

Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!!

Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr

153 episodes

#Tech #Society #James Avramenko #Facebook #Friendship #Theatre #Social Media #Internet #History #Connection #Relationship #Isolation #Future #Kindness #Fitness #Mental Health #After Life

Friendless

On Isolation vs Solitude or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love 50 Cent (Reflections on May)

Friendless

published 24 days ago

MP4•Episode home

To top it off, James shares some of his favourite songs of the month, sets intentions for June, and encourages listeners to embrace the messy work of being authentically themselves.

Tune in, get comfy, and join James for a real talk about the complicated beauty of being friendless—and finding your own way through it.

Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE!

Listen to the May playlist on Spotify HERE

Follow Friendless on TikTok

and on Instagram

Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!!

Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr

153 episodes

#Tech #Society #James Avramenko #Facebook #Friendship #Theatre #Social Media #Internet #History #Connection #Relationship #Isolation #Future #Kindness #Fitness #Mental Health #After Life

All episodes

Friendless

1
The Monkey Made Me Do It (with special guest Trevor Hinton) 1:06:19

3 days ago1:06:19

1:06:19

In this very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko reconnects with his long-time friend and former theater colleague, Trevor Hinton. Despite the years and distance apart, their profound conversation delves into themes of vulnerability, artistic expression, and the raw authenticity that stems from truly seeing each other. They discuss the balance between the metaphysical and material worlds, the importance of community, and how anger and confidence can mold personal growth. The episode wraps up with a focus on the nuances of friendship, the importance of checking in on strong friends, and the value of showing up authentically in our relationships. Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr…

Friendless

1
Cause Ya Gotta Have Faith (with special guest Zazu Payne) 1:07:15

10 days ago1:07:15

1:07:15

In this very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko dives into an insightful and heartfelt conversation with Zazu Payne, a biomedical engineer, board game enthusiast, and self-proclaimed 'friendship guru'. Zazu shares his journey from being a self-described 'selfish guy' to someone deeply invested in building authentic connections through community and faith. They discuss the power of vulnerability, the beauty in others, and how true friendships can start in the most unexpected places. Tune in for a candid discussion on the complexities of friendship and the courage it takes to show up genuinely in our increasingly disconnected world. Follow Zazu on Instagram @zazux2_games Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr…

Friendless

1
How to Survive the Internet (with special guest Sam Murdock) 1:06:57

17 days ago1:06:57

1:06:57

This week on a very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko sits down with Sam Murdock—tech wizard, board game buff, and the behind-the-scenes moderator of Codenames Live. Fresh from his adventures as a Twitch streamer (pants optional), Sam shares his journey from computer programming dropout to community builder extraordinaire. Together, James and Sam dive into the intricacies of forming genuine connections in the digital age, the irresistible chaos of live-streamed game nights, and how a simple meme or DM can sometimes be the sincerest way to show up for your friends. They swap stories about discovering the world of board games, nurturing small social circles online and off, and keeping digital spaces welcoming in a world full of trolls. Sam also drops recommendations for indie games and deck-builders, discusses the magic (and anxiety) of playing and hosting Codenames Live, and reflects on what it really means to be a friend—spoiler: it’s often about being present in the small moments. Tune in for tons of laughter, a few nostalgic deep cuts (Audiobooks on cassette, anyone?), and some thoughtful advice on how to be a more attentive friend, both online and IRL. Check out Sam's work at https://nerdservice.ca Check out Codenames LIVE! Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr…

Friendless

1
On Isolation vs Solitude or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love 50 Cent (Reflections on May) 59:14

24 days ago59:14

59:14

In this very special solo episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko wraps up the month of May with honesty, humor, and plenty of personal insight. James digs into the duality of solitude versus loneliness, celebrates the small victories of incremental growth, and shares what he learned from his ongoing DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) group. He explores everything from why meme culture feels exhausting, to the ups and downs of friendship goals, and how being present can transform both heartbreak and happiness. James also answers listener questions about friendship clichés, the concept of seasonal friendships, and the difference between intentional solitude and involuntary isolation. Along the way, he offers practical tools like time-blocking and journaling for anyone navigating their own journey of connection and self-understanding. To top it off, James shares some of his favourite songs of the month, sets intentions for June, and encourages listeners to embrace the messy work of being authentically themselves. Whether you’re seeking insight on relationships, battling your own solitude, or just wanting a good playlist, this episode is packed with relatable moments, gentle challenges, and a whole lot of heart. Tune in, get comfy, and join James for a real talk about the complicated beauty of being friendless—and finding your own way through it. Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Listen to the May playlist on Spotify HERE Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr…

Friendless

1
The Hidden Benefits of Bullying (with special guest Magda Baker) 1:24:31

4 weeks ago1:24:31

1:24:31

This week on a very special episode of "Friendless," host James Avramenko welcomes the inimitable Magda Baker—singer, songwriter, producer, actor, and co-founder of the queer arts magazine Beautiful Trash for Beautiful People—for a candid, funny, and wide-ranging conversation about art, friendship, community, and navigating modern life. Together, James and Magda dive into the tangled relationship many of us have with social media, technology, and addiction, exploring strategies for digital detox, reclaiming personal time, and the joys of (temporarily) switching to a flip phone. Magda shares his journey as a queer artist, from formative experiences in Calgary's underground music scene to building an authentic creative life and collaborative community on the West Coast. Listeners will enjoy honest insights into staying hopeful amid political and personal upheavals, the healing power of shrinking your world, and why showing up for others—even when capacity feels low—can be transformative. The duo gets delightfully nerdy over David Lynch, swap tales of civic engagement, and discuss the meaning of friendship, the value of being an active community member, and the simple productivity hack known as “grilled cheese theory.” Key topics include: Digital minimalism and managing social media addiction Building queer/trans arts communities and the ethos behind Beautiful Trash magazine Transitioning artistic styles and identities across provinces Making and maintaining friendships as an adult Reframing self-worth, hope, and happiness in challenging times The differences (and surprises) between Vancouver and Calgary queer/art scenes Why showing up (to your friend’s gigs, to community meetings, or with a home-cooked meal) matters Whether you’re searching for practical advice on fostering community or simply need a reminder to read that book your friend lent you, this episode is packed with relatable stories and inspiration for anyone seeking to be a better friend—to themselves and others. Read Beautiful Trash HERE Listen to Magda's music Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr…

Friendless

1
Rebuilding Connection After Mistakes (with special guest Dr. Christine Cooper) 1:01:51

5 weeks ago1:01:51

1:01:51

In this very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko welcomes Dr. Christine Cooper — pharmacist, author, and self-proclaimed “reforming mean girl.” Christine opens up about her journey from being a not-so-nice kid to learning about empathy, accountability, and authentic human connection. She shares personal stories of growth, how constantly moving as a child delayed her understanding of the consequences of her actions, and the pivotal moment in college that made her self-reflect on who she wanted to be. Christine discusses her book Finding Value: A Reforming Mean Girl’s Guide for Creating More Meaningful Connections , offering wisdom on building better friendships, setting healthy boundaries, and cultivating curiosity. Together, she and James explore what it really means to be a friend, how to take actionable steps toward kindness (starting with the person in front of you), and the importance of balancing your own needs with those of others. Christine also offers practical advice on accountability, healthy communication (including the tricky realm of nonverbal cues), and fostering a sense of community—even across divides. This episode is packed with real talk, laughs, and useful takeaways for anyone looking to create more meaningful relationships in their lives. Check out Christine's work HERE Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr…

Friendless

1
Finding Light in Dark Stories (with special guest Mel Zee) 1:01:08

6 weeks ago1:01:08

1:01:08

In this candid and thought-provoking episode of "Friendless," host James Avramenko welcomes content creator and true crime aficionado Mel Zee for a wide-ranging exploration of friendship, online connection, and the psychology of digital communities. James and Mel retrace the origins of their own friendship, sparked through TikTok, and unpack the evolving nature of meeting people online versus in person. Mel offers insight into her journey as a social media creator—the trade-offs between self-employment, personal boundaries, and wrestling with negative commentary when discussing everything from dating to true crime. The conversation takes a deep dive into the world of true crime content: why it’s dominated by women, how it can serve both as a form of empowerment and a window into societal fears, and the responsibilities of creators to survivors and victims. Together, they tease apart the ethics of true crime storytelling, the dark allure of morbid curiosity, and how popular trends in media often reflect broader cultural anxieties. Amidst tough truths about loneliness, loss, and the challenge of setting healthy boundaries, James and Mel share moments of hope, humor, and vulnerability—highlighting the importance of building connection, trying new things, and the radical self-respect that comes from saying “no.” The episode closes with heartwarming reflections on authentic friendship, the value of real-life community, and a practical invitation: throw a party, be brave, and make space for joy alongside all the heavy stuff. Whether you're a fan of true crime, wrestling with friendship in the age of social media, or searching for belonging in a disconnected world, this episode of "Friendless" is sure to resonate. Find Mel through all the links in her Linktree HERE! Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr…

Friendless

1
Sunshine Monkeys Rejoice! (Reflections on April) 53:09

7 weeks ago53:09

53:09

Join me as I reflect on the month of April, discussing the return of the sun and its impact on my mental health, personal growth, and the delicate balance of maintaining connections while undergoing distress tolerance therapy. In this episode, I introduce new ideas for tracking personal development and share invaluable insights from recent guests such as Dean Spade, Ravenous Randy Myers, Amy Lester, and Brett Cassidy. Learn actionable steps to improve friendships and hear my thoughts on whether friendships should have breakup conversations. Plus, discover my favourite songs from my monthly playlist and set intentions for the coming month. Don't miss it! Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Listen to my monthly Spotify playlist HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr 00:00 April Reflections and Personal Growth 03:51 Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Insights 08:01 Interview Highlights: Dean Spade 11:03 Interview Highlights: Ravenous Randy Myers 13:32 Interview Highlights: Amy Lester 15:44 Interview Highlights: Brett Cassidy 20:16 Actionable Steps for Personal Development 24:54 Listener Questions and Interactions 51:45 Reconnecting Through Communication 53:49 Navigating Breakups with Grace 56:24 Petty Reasons for Unfriending 01:01:08 Anonymous Messages to Ex-Friends 01:04:12 Monthly Playlist Highlights 01:07:23 Setting Monthly Intentions 01:13:03 Final Reflections and Gratitude…

Friendless

1
You Don't Need to Drown (with special guest Brett Cassidy) 59:45

8 weeks ago59:45

59:45

In this episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko welcomes Brett Cassidy, a singer, songwriter, and producer. The two reconnect after years of following each other's careers online and share a deep conversation on friendship, community, and music. Brett discusses the evolution of his music career, his love for folk and psychedelic music, and the inspiration behind his latest EP. The conversation touches on the importance of vulnerability, maintaining connections, and the value of second chances. They also delve into how art and community play pivotal roles in their lives, providing hope and purpose amid a challenging world. Join them for an insightful dialogue that explores the depths of human connection and artistic expression. Listen to A Selection of Ballads from the Old Man River Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr Photo by @poolboy.studios…

Friendless

1
The Intersection of Art and Activism (with special guest Amy J. Lester) 1:10:42

9 weeks ago1:10:42

1:10:42

In this very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko interviews the multifaceted Amy Lester, a political organiser, clown, filmmaker, and actress. James and Amy dive deep into the complexities of the clown community, the challenges of living an artistic life within a capitalist society, and Amy's journey from being an active performer to becoming a dedicated political organiser. They discuss the nature of friendships, the intricacies of community, and the inherent power of vulnerability. Towards the end, Amy shares her insights on finding hope and joy amidst the chaos of today's world. Tune in for an engaging conversation filled with humor, introspection, and authenticity. Learn more about Class Action Lawsuit HERE and HERE Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr…

Friendless

1
The Art of the Swerve (with special guest "Ravenous" Randy Myers) 1:00:36

10 weeks ago1:00:36

1:00:36

In this episode of 'Friendless,' host James Avramenko interviews "Ravenous" Randy Myers, a multi-talented performer known for his work in professional wrestling, comedy, and various forms of entertainment. Randy shares his journey from being a drama kid in Calgary to becoming an influential figure in the wrestling world. He discusses the challenges and triumphs he faced along the way, including his struggles with mental health and how being open about it has helped him connect more deeply with fans and fellow performers. The conversation also delves into the parallels and differences between the stand-up comedy and wrestling communities, highlighting the importance of authenticity and vulnerability in performance. Randy's insights into community, friendship, and the power of being genuine make this episode a rich and engaging listen. Photo credit thanks to @arealgoldmouth Check out Randy's work on Instagram Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr…

Friendless

1
How to Love in a F*cked Up World (with special guest Dean Spade) 1:19:40

11 weeks ago1:19:40

1:19:40

In this episode of 'Friendless,' host James Avramenko meets and converses with Dean Spade—a lawyer, writer, and activist known for his work on queer and trans liberation. Dean discusses his new book, 'Love in a Fucked Up World,' and explores themes such as the importance of enthusiasm during tough times, the necessity of grounding oneself in reality, and the complexities of personal and community responsibility. The conversation delves into creating authentic connections, building community support systems, the significance of direct feedback, and the challenges of maintaining self-respect while engaging in activism. Dean also shares personal anecdotes, including his journey in writing his latest book and how inspiration serves as a form of protection and guidance. Learn more about Dean and his work on his WEBSITE Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr…

Friendless

1
Don't Call It A Comeback 30:42

11 weeks ago30:42

30:42

In this special comeback episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko returns from a five-month hiatus to discuss his personal journey, the importance of self-respect, and the evolving themes of the show. James reflects on the challenges he's faced, including a difficult breakup, and shares his insights from therapy. He also announces exciting new projects, such as his completed poetry manuscript and upcoming book 'First Dates with Pro Wrestlers.' The episode introduces upcoming themes like intentional self-respect and the concept of authenticity. James emphasizes a more interactive experience with his audience, including book club activities and deeper dives into DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) principles. Listener engagement and feedback are highly encouraged as James aims to expand and enrich the Friendless community. 00:00 Welcome Back to Friendless 00:47 Gratitude and Personal Reflections 03:07 The Breakup and Personal Growth 10:17 Exciting Announcements and Projects 14:14 Themes for Upcoming Episodes 23:35 Listener Engagement and Future Plans 28:18 Conclusion and Farewell Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr…

Friendless

1
Refocusing Jurassic Park's Feminist Lens (with special guest Hannah McGregor) 1:16:53

33 weeks ago1:16:53

1:16:53

This week on a very special episode of "Friendless", join host James Avramenko as he sits down with the insightful Hannah McGregor, author and co-host of the popular podcast "Material Girls." Hannah, who penned "Clever Girl," shares her feminist analysis of Jurassic Park, diving into her unique perspective on the beloved classic. In this in-depth conversation, Hannah opens up about her personal journey moving to Vancouver and the challenges she faced in building a community from scratch amidst social anxiety and panic attacks. James and Hannah also explore their preferences for horror genres, discuss their favourite childhood places, and the ethical complexities of zoos and museums. Listeners will gain insight into Hannah’s ideal weekend relaxation plans, a humorous take on velociraptors in human suits, and the importance of fostering community and friendship in meaningful ways. The episode is brimming with humor, intellectual discourse, and practical advice on managing social anxiety, self-criticism, and the significance of personalized gestures in friendships. Discover Hannah’s thoughts on friendship dynamics, and the valuable concept of emotional capacity in support networks. This episode is a rich blend of academic reflection and light-hearted banter, perfect for those looking to understand the nuances of community building and feminist perspectives on popular media. Don’t miss Hannah’s professional insights and James' enthusiastic recommendation of "Clever Girl." Tune in to hear their candid discussion on vulnerability, societal pressures, and the transformative power of analytic essays. Be sure to check the show notes for links to Hannah’s work and other featured artists. Links: Follow Hannah McGregor on Instagram: @hkpmcgregor Purchase "Clever Girl" ( Not from Amazon) Learn more about Hannah's work Sign up for the Friendless Substack newsletter for more insights and updates! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Read "Hey, sorry I missed you" Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr #FriendlessPodcast #HannahMcGregor #CleverGirl #FeministAnalysis #CommunityBuilding #EmotionalCapacity…

Friendless

1
Halloween Spook-tacular! 39:37

34 weeks ago39:37