432: Betrayal, Forgiveness, and Rebuilding Trust: A Candid Conversation

From Betrayal To Breakthrough

In this powerful episode, I’m joined by Dr. Bruce Chalmer—psychologist, author, and podcast host—for an in-depth discussion about betrayal, forgiveness, and the path to healing. Dr. Chalmer shares his deeply personal journey from pain to purpose, what drew him into clinical work with couples, and why betrayal demands a very different approach to healing. We talk about the distinction between guilt and shame, the stages of rebuilding trust, and how forgiveness is truly an inside job. If you’ve ever struggled with whether to stay, how to heal, or what it really takes to move forward, this episode will speak directly to your heart.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why betrayal is not just a relational rupture but a nervous system shock

• How Dr. Chalmer’s personal experience shaped his work with couples

• The misunderstood difference between guilt and shame

• Why forgiveness is about releasing pain—not condoning behavior

• What it really means to rebuild something better than before

• The two-way nature of trust and how both partners play a role in restoring it

• The unexpected gifts that can emerge from betrayal

Resources & Mentions:

• Dr. Bruce Chalmer’s site: www.brucechalmer.com

• “Couples Therapy in Seven Words” Podcast

• Trust Again by Dr. Debi Silber

• The 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough® framework

• Reclaim-for the betrayed: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/

• Rebuild-for the betrayer: https://thepbtinstitute.com/rebuild/