How to Stop Shrinking in Relationships, Self-Sabotage, Choosing vs. Attracting and More Unthinkable Thoughts with Africa Brooke

In My Non-Expert Opinion

267: “It all has to be in alignment. I have to be living very honestly in order to do my most honest work. And honesty is a fundamental requirement for the work that I do. I find that if I'm not living honestly, and it doesn't have to be a hundred percent, if I'm not living honestly in ways that are actually very important, I actually can't show up for my work in the way that I need to.” ~ Africa Brooke

This soul-baring conversation between Chelsea and Africa dives deep into self-censorship, shadow work, heartbreak, and the raw journey of sobriety. Together, they explore how our patterns in love and life reveal the unhealed parts of ourselves - the ones we try to tame, cage up, and discard. Yet the truth is: owning and integrating these parts and reclaiming our voice is a revolutionary act. Listen closely.

Africa is a Zimbabwean-born consultant, developmental coach, speaker, and author of "The Third Perspective: Brave Expression in The Age of Intolerance." She is known for her work in overcoming self-sabotage and self-censorship. She hosts “Beyond the Self” and “Unthinkable Thoughts,” and is a frequent guest on TV, podcasts, and radio. This is an ep you don't want to miss!

• “What happens when we believe that there's a higher cost to telling the truth than to pretending?”
• “I decided to suffer out loud, and that was going against so many rules... I was just speaking into the void.”
• “I would choose people that I perceive to be lesser than me in some way, so that I get to be the superior one in the relationship... but it’s me they’re showing me.”
• “Instead of chasing the new self-concept of ‘I’m a good person,’ I had to accept all the shadowy components of myself and humanize myself.”
• “Be okay with talking about your interests... because that’s what makes it erotic. That’s what creates magnetism.”

Chelsea & Africa remind us the path to empowered relationships and aligned work begins with radical truth-telling - to ourselves first.

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Chapters

1. How to Stop Shrinking in Relationships, Self-Sabotage, Choosing vs. Attracting and More Unthinkable Thoughts with Africa Brooke (00:00:00)

2. Introduction (00:02:50)

3. Living Honestly to Do Honest Work (00:05:10)

4. The First Time She Spoke Up Publicly (00:09:11)

5. Chaos, Addiction, and Silence (00:13:39)

6. Integrating the Shadow Self (00:16:32)

7. Choosing the Wrong People (on Purpose) (00:22:20)

8. The Pattern of Shrinking for Love (00:28:20)

9. Self-Betrayal and Resentment (00:35:50)

10. Becoming Magnetic Through Self-Obsession (00:41:07)

11. Peter Pan Syndrome and Emotional Maturity (00:47:00)

12. The Power of Ownership and Better Choices (00:51:00)

13. Stop Consuming and Start Living (00:56:20)

14. Where to Find Africa + Final Reflections (00:58:50)