Episode 88: What Self-sabotage Is And How To Deal With It - Tips On Taking Control Of Your Inner Thoughts ”Inspire Us” With J. Paul Nadeau podcast

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Welcome to a podcast that promises to reshape how you approach negotiation and communication. Based on J. Paul Nadeau’s acclaimed book Dammit, Just Ask! , this series draws from Paul’s extraordinary career as a hostage negotiator and Special Victims Unit detective to deliver actionable insights and transformative strategies. At its heart is Nadeau’s philosophy of “We, Not Me”, encouraging listeners to abandon confrontational tactics in favor of collaboration and connection. This mindset prioritizes respect and understanding, creating outcomes that benefit all parties involved. Here’s what you can expect from the podcast: 1. The PIER Negotiation Method Listeners will explore the PIER framework—Planning, Intent, Engagement, and Relationships—a step-by-step approach that turns complex negotiations into manageable conversations. Each element will be broken down with practical strategies to help you plan meticulously, clarify your intent, and engage authentically for lasting, meaningful relationships. 2. The Power of Relationships Drawing from compelling stories, such as his transformative interaction with a young offender named Aaron, Paul highlights the power of establishing trust—even in the most high-pressure situations. Relationships are the foundation of successful negotiations, and this podcast reveals how to foster them effectively. 3. Active and Soulful Listening True understanding goes beyond words. The podcast delves into techniques like active listening and Nadeau’s unique soulful listening, which focuses on uncovering emotions, motivations, and unspoken needs. By listening deeply, you can connect with your counterpart on a profound level, paving the way for mutual understanding. 4. Identifying and Addressing Pain Points Learn how to identify and address your counterpart’s hidden fears and concerns—what Paul calls their “invisible nooses.” This client-focused approach not only builds trust but also encourages transparency, allowing for solutions that meet the needs of all parties involved. 5. Embracing the Power of Asking The mantra is simple: “Dammit, Just Ask!” This podcast empowers listeners to overcome hesitations and ask for what they want, using well-planned strategies to increase their chances of success. Paul’s own experiences demonstrate how bold, effective asking can open doors to remarkable opportunities. 6. The PAID Technique When faced with objections or heightened emotions, Paul introduces the PAID method—Pause, Assess, Identify, and Discuss. This technique offers a calm and constructive way to address challenges, maintain productive dialogue, and keep negotiations on track. 7. The SALES Acronym Drawing from Chris Do’s SALES framework—Serve, Ask, Listen, Empathize, Summarize—the podcast equips listeners with additional tools to enhance communication and drive better outcomes, whether in professional negotiations or personal conversations. Why Listen? This podcast is more than just a guide to negotiation; it’s a masterclass in building trust, fostering connection, and achieving success with integrity. Whether you’re navigating high-stakes business deals or everyday challenges, Paul’s techniques will help you approach every conversation with confidence and purpose. Prepare to be inspired, equipped, and empowered. With J. Paul Nadeau’s Dammit, Just Ask! podcast, you’re not just learning to negotiate—you’re learning to transform your approach to communication, relationships, and life itself. Tune in, and let the journey begin!…

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”Inspire Us” with J. Paul Nadeau

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Episode 135: Take Control of Your Life book summary - Final Episode 28:33

32 weeks ago28:33

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The last Deep Dive in the 3 episode overview of Paul's book "Take Control of Your Life." In this series you'll discover: Nadeau's Principles and Techniques for Reclaiming Control Nadeau emphasizes that reclaiming control over thoughts and actions begins with awareness: ● Recognizing that negative thoughts can "take you hostage" mentally1 and understanding the difference between being physically held hostage and being hostage to your own thoughts1. ● Engaging in regular self-examination to understand your mental state, identifying what brings you happiness or unhappiness, and assessing your values, motivations, and fears23. Once you are aware of negative thought patterns, you can use the following techniques to reclaim control: ● Developing a SEEMP (Self-Empowering and -Enabling Management Plan)4. Similar to an emergency management plan, a SEEMP helps you to systematically identify, mitigate, prepare for, and recover from negative thoughts and setbacks45. ○ Conduct a personal SWOT analysis to identify your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats6. ○Find ways to deal with negative thoughts and prevent them from "settling in," such as exercise, reading, spending time in nature, etc.6. ● Change negative associations to positive ones. By consciously replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations, you can shift your perception of challenging situations and develop the motivation to take positive action78. ○ Reframe painful experiences by focusing on the pleasure associated with taking positive action78. ● Challenge negative beliefs and replace them with empowering ones. Nadeau encourages you to see yourself as "limitless" and capable of achieving your goals910. ○ Identify limiting beliefs that keep you feeling helpless and replace them with thoughts and actions that promote success11. ○Use affirmations to shift your mindset and remind yourself of your strength and worthiness12. Nadeau argues that taking action is crucial for escaping negative thought patterns and achieving your goals: ● Don't dwell on the past. Acknowledge past experiences but focus on the present moment and the choices you can make to create a positive future1314. ● Make a conscious decision to change. Identify areas in your life that you want to improve and commit to taking specific, directed action151617. ● Develop positive habits. Consistent effort and action, even in small steps, are essential for achieving lasting change1819. ● Be persistent and adaptable. Accept that setbacks and failures are part of the process and be willing to adjust your approach as needed1719. Nadeau also emphasizes the importance of gratitude and faith in maintaining a positive mindset: ● Cultivating gratitude helps shift focus from what is lacking to the abundance already present in life20. ● Having faith can provide strength and resilience during challenging times, allowing you to persevere towards your goals21. By implementing these principles and techniques, you can move beyond self-sabotaging behaviors, reclaim control over your thoughts and actions, and live a more fulfilling life22. To purchase the book or hire Paul as a speaker, follow this link: https://www.jpaulnadeau.com/…

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”Inspire Us” with J. Paul Nadeau

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Episode 134: Unlocking Your Potential: A Journey to Self-Empowerment 30:29

32 weeks ago30:29

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Welcome to part two of our deep dive into J. Paul Nadeau's transformative book, "Take Control of Your Life." In this episode, we delve into chapters two through five, where Nadeau provides practical tools and techniques to break free from self-sabotaging behaviors and mental prisons. Explore the power of self-examination, as Nadeau shares personal stories and insights that highlight the importance of recognizing internal obstacles. Discover the profound impact of simple acts of kindness and the necessity of aligning actions with personal values. Learn about the SEEMP (Self-Empowering and Enabling Management Plan) and how SWOT analysis can help you prepare for internal struggles. Embrace the idea of taking ownership of your choices to move from feeling like a victim to feeling empowered. Nadeau's compelling narrative offers a roadmap for self-improvement, emphasizing resilience, gratitude, and the power of choice. Join us as we uncover the steps to unlocking your potential and creating a life of purpose and fulfillment. To purchase the book, follow this link: https://www.jpaulnadeau.com/…

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”Inspire Us” with J. Paul Nadeau

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Episode 133: Unpacking the Power of Choice: A Deep Dive into "Take Control of Your Life" - Part 1 24:10

32 weeks ago24:10

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Welcome to the inaugural episode of our deep dive series, where we explore the profound insights of J. Paul Nadeau's "Take Control of Your Life." This episode sets the stage by delving into the foundational concepts laid out in the early sections of the book. Join us as we discuss Nadeau's unique perspective, drawing from his extensive experience as a former investigator, hostage negotiator, and international peacekeeper. We highlight the core message that it's not what happens to us, but how we respond that defines our journey. With practical examples and real-world wisdom, Nadeau illustrates how we can reclaim our power and reshape our lives. We explore relatable case studies that demonstrate how our thoughts can hold us hostage, and discuss the importance of self-examination and creating a Self-Empowering and Enabling Management Plan (SIEMP) to break free from negative patterns. Discover how the messages we receive, both external and internal, shape our beliefs and how we can cultivate a more positive mental environment. This episode is just the beginning of our exploration into how we can take control of our lives by choosing empowering thoughts and actions. Stay tuned for more insights and strategies in our upcoming episodes. To purchase, follow this link: https://www.jpaulnadeau.com/…

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”Inspire Us” with J. Paul Nadeau

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Episode 132: The Art Of Hostage Negotiation | from the "Awaken Out Of Context Podcast Ep #36" a summary with J. Paul Nadeau as guest 17:57

33 weeks ago17:57

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In this captivating episode of Deep Dive, we explore the multifaceted life and work of J. Paul Nadeau, a former police officer, hostage negotiator, international peacekeeper, actor, and author. Known for his compelling storytelling, Nadeau shares insights from his incredible journey, revealing how his experiences have shaped his unique approach to life and work. We delve into Nadeau's unexpected foray into acting, driven by a high school drama class and his daughter's encouragement, and how he managed to balance this passion with a demanding career in law enforcement. His resilience and adaptability shine through as we uncover the pivotal childhood experience that set him on his path to helping others. The episode highlights Nadeau's revolutionary approach to hostage negotiation, emphasizing empathy and human connection over dominance. He shares a remarkable anecdote illustrating how a simple question, "What are you afraid of?" can transform a high-stakes situation by building trust and understanding. We also discover how Nadeau applies these principles to sales, using the iconic "Miracle on 34th Street" as a metaphor for prioritizing genuine connection over transactions. His framework, encapsulated in the SALES acronym, underscores the importance of service, asking, listening, empathizing, and summarizing in all interactions. Nadeau's experiences as a peacekeeper in Jordan further underscore the power of empathy and human connection, even amidst potential danger. A harrowing encounter with insurgents highlights how his commitment to treating everyone with dignity and respect saved his life. Finally, we explore Nadeau's "Reset" concept for mental well-being, advocating for self-care and the courage to ask for what we want. His story of reaching out to a famous actor to star in a film based on his life exemplifies the transformative potential of just asking. This episode is a testament to the universal truths that bind us all: the power of human connection, the importance of empathy, and the profound impact of approaching life with authenticity and kindness. For the full episode of the podcast, go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZsKSrj3Ov4…

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”Inspire Us” with J. Paul Nadeau

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Episode 131: The Power of Reset: Navigating Life's Challenges with J. Paul Nadeau 9:03

33 weeks ago9:03

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Ever wish you could hit a reset button on your brain when life throws curveballs your way? In this episode, we explore the concept of mental reset with insights from J. Paul Nadeau, a renowned hostage negotiator who knows a thing or two about handling high-pressure situations. Nadeau shares how his experiences have shaped his views on mental wellness, offering practical advice on how to regain control of your reactions during challenging times. He emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and provides simple, yet powerful mantras to help shift your mindset. Discover the empowering concept that you're the architect of your own experience, and learn how to apply reset techniques in everyday life. Whether it's a quick mental refresh or a deeper system update, this episode will equip you with the tools to face adversity with resilience and strength.…

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”Inspire Us” with J. Paul Nadeau

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Episode 130: Discovering Your Inner Badass: Embracing Vulnerability and Resilience 8:20

33 weeks ago8:20

8:20

Feeling drained and overwhelmed? Join us as we dive into episode 118 of J. Paul Nadeau's podcast, "Inspire Us," where we explore his book, "Reset: The Badass Guide to Living Life on Your Own Terms." Discover how vulnerability can be a superpower, helping us connect on a deeper level and embrace our true selves. Nadeau, with his straightforward style, challenges us to honestly assess our efforts and recognize the inner strength we all possess. He emphasizes the importance of sharing our stories and the ripple effect of courage and hope this creates. Learn how to face life's curveballs with resilience and authenticity, and find out how self-reflection with compassion can lead to self-acceptance. Join the conversation on how to tap into your inner badass and embrace the journey of self-discovery and growth. What part of Nadeau's message resonates with you, and how will you put it into action today?…

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”Inspire Us” with J. Paul Nadeau

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Episode 129: Unlock Your Inner Badass: The J. Paul Nadeau Blueprint 12:55

34 weeks ago12:55

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In this insightful episode, we delve into Jay Paul Nadeau's transformative perspective on what it means to be a "badass." Moving beyond the superficial image of toughness, Nadeau redefines badassery as an inner strength and resilience that can be cultivated and harnessed in everyday life. The discussion begins by exploring the concept of a "badass mindset," characterized by determination, courage, and critical thinking, especially in the face of life's challenges. Nadeau emphasizes the importance of being a "truth warrior," advocating for informed decision-making and skepticism in our media-saturated world. We also learn about the significance of setting personal boundaries and challenging negative thoughts, highlighting the balance between self-advocacy and empathy for others. Nadeau's philosophy extends to relationships, work, and daily anxieties, encouraging us to step outside our comfort zones and embrace vulnerability as a path to true strength. Furthermore, the episode covers practical steps like starting the day with intention and gratitude, building resilience through small daily practices, and approaching difficult conversations with honesty and respect. Nadeau's message is clear: true strength lies in compassion, integrity, and the courage to stand up for what is right, even in the smallest moments. Join us as we explore how embracing our unique qualities and aligning our actions with our values can lead to personal growth and a positive impact on the world. Discover how small acts of courage and kindness can ripple outward, inspiring others and redefining what it means to be a badass in today's world. * * Please note: This podcast episode was generated using AI technology. The voices, as well as the script, were created by AI based on the content I provided. It is my material. While the voices are not real people, the information remains accurate, and this production was created transparently without any intent to mislead. I appreciate you listening.…

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”Inspire Us” with J. Paul Nadeau

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Episode 128: Unshackling the Mind: J. Paul Nadeau's Guide to Breaking Free from Self-Sabotage 16:39

34 weeks ago16:39

16:39

Ever feel like you're battling your own mind, both hostage and captor in a relentless struggle? Join J. Paul Nadeau as he takes us on a transformative journey to reclaim control over our lives, using the art of hostage negotiation as a metaphor for tackling self-sabotage. In this episode, Nadeau introduces the concept of 'self-hostage,' where our thoughts and habits trap us in cycles of doubt and negativity. Drawing from his experiences training Iraqi police cadets, he highlights how fear and desperation can push even the most rational people to extreme measures. Learn how to become your own hostage negotiator by developing self-awareness and challenging automatic negative thoughts. Discover Nadeau's Self-Empowering and Enabling Management Plan (SIEMP) to strategically address personal strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. Explore the power of choice, as illustrated by Nadeau's own story of overcoming career-threatening negativity. Delve into the fascinating parallels between victimology and self-doubt, understanding how projecting confidence can deter not only criminals but also self-defeating beliefs. Find inspiration in the concept of 'seeds of greatness' within us all, ready to be nurtured through gratitude, self-compassion, and actionable steps. This episode is a call to action to unshackle your mind, embrace your potential, and create a life filled with purpose and joy. * * Please note: This podcast episode was generated using AI technology. The voices, as well as the script, were created by AI based on the content I provided. It is my material. While the voices are not real people, the information remains accurate, and this production was created transparently without any intent to mislead. I appreciate you listening.…

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”Inspire Us” with J. Paul Nadeau

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Episode 127: Deep Dive into J. Paul Nadeau's book "The Badass Guide to Conflict Resolution." 3:18

34 weeks ago3:18

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Welcome back to another episode of Deep Dives, where we explore fascinating topics that resonate with all of us. Today, we're delving into the realm of conflict resolution, a subject many of us would prefer to avoid, yet it's an inevitable part of life. Our guide for this journey is "The Badass Guide to Conflict Resolution" by J. Paul Nadeau, a former hostage negotiator, offering a unique perspective on handling disagreements. In this episode, we discuss how Nadeau challenges the conventional view of conflict as something negative. He proposes that by reframing our approach, we can see conflict as an opportunity for growth, leading to stronger relationships and better communication. We explore practical tools and techniques he shares, drawn from his experiences in high-stakes negotiations. Join us as we uncover how shifting our perspective on conflict can turn potentially negative situations into opportunities for positive change. Reflect on a conflict in your own life and consider how approaching it differently could lead to a better outcome. We hope this episode leaves you with valuable insights and a new way of thinking about conflict. * * Please note: This podcast episode was generated using AI technology. The voices, as well as the script, were created by AI based on the content I provided, namely the manuscript of my book. While the voices are not real people, the information remains accurate, and this production was created transparently without any intent to mislead. I appreciate you listening.…

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”Inspire Us” with J. Paul Nadeau

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Episode 126: A deep dive into Mastering the Hostage Within: Unlocking Your Inner Freedom - an online course by J. Paul Nadeau 11:02

35 weeks ago11:02

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Join us in this eye-opening episode as we explore the transformative course, "Mastering the Hostage Within." We delve into how our negative thoughts can hold us back, drawing on insights from a former hostage negotiator who offers a unique perspective on overcoming mental barriers. Discover how our fears can become our captors, preventing us from pursuing our dreams and living the life we desire. Learn about the power of choice in responding to those initial negative thoughts and how to develop a Self-Empowering and Enabling Management Plan (SIEMP) to build mental resilience. We discuss the concept of a personal SWOT analysis to understand our strengths and weaknesses and the importance of creating positive associations to change our internal dialogue. Hear about the role of journaling in uncovering hidden thought patterns and the radical idea that life is empty and meaningless, allowing us to choose the meaning we attach to events. Gain insights into overcoming learned helplessness, embracing faith and gratitude, and practicing self-compassion. Learn how reaching out for support can make all the difference in challenging our inner critics and silencing those negative thoughts. As we wrap up, we offer practical steps to challenge your inner hostage taker and remind you that you hold the keys to your own freedom. This episode is a powerful reminder that mastering your inner world can lead to a life filled with purpose and joy.…

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”Inspire Us” with J. Paul Nadeau

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Episode 125: A 'Deep Dive' into J. Paul Nadeau's book "Take Control of Your Life" 16:39

35 weeks ago16:39

16:39

Ever feel like something's holding you back from achieving what you truly desire? In this episode, we explore the common experience of self-sabotage, guided by J. Paul Nadeau's book, Take Control of Your Life . Nadeau, a former hostage negotiator and peacekeeper, shares his battle-tested wisdom on how our own minds can hold us captive and offers strategies to break free. We delve into Nadeau's gripping real-life experiences, including a near-hostage situation in Iraq, to draw parallels with the internal struggles we face daily. Discover how building respect and human decency can be life-saving, both literally and metaphorically. Learn about Nadeau's "emergency management plan for the mind," which includes self-examination, a personal SWOT analysis, and developing "go-to moves" to regain control when negative thoughts arise. We also discuss the power of self-compassion and the importance of recognizing our inherent worth. Through inspiring stories of resilience and transformation, this episode reminds us that we have the power to break free from mental cages and create the life we truly want. Join us as we uncover the keys to overcoming self-sabotage and embracing our potential. * Please note: This podcast episode was generated using AI technology. The voices, as well as the script, were created by AI based on the content I provided, namely the manuscript of my book. While the voices are not real people, the information remains accurate, and this production was created transparently without any intent to mislead. I appreciate you listening.…

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”Inspire Us” with J. Paul Nadeau

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Episode 124: A deep dive into Hostage Negotiator J. Paul Nadeau's book on effective negotiation: "Dammit, Just Ask!" 26:05

35 weeks ago26:05

26:05

Remember the simplicity of asking for what you wanted as a child? Dive into "Dammit, Just Ask" by J. Paul Nadeau as we explore how to reclaim that confident inner child. This episode uncovers negotiation strategies not just for boardrooms, but for everyday life—like asking for a raise or navigating relationships. Discover insights from Nadeau, a former hostage negotiator, who introduces the transformative "we, not me" mindset. Learn how empathy and understanding can defuse high-pressure situations and transform negotiations into opportunities for collaboration. Explore practical tools like the PAID method (Pause, Assess, Identify, Discuss) for handling objections and the importance of vulnerability in building trust. Delve into the art of preparation, managing emotions, and aligning actions with words to create genuine connections. This episode is a masterclass in negotiation, emphasizing the power of human connection and relationship building. Ready to transform how you ask for what you want? Tune in and unleash your inner negotiator. * * Please note: This podcast episode was generated using AI technology. The voices, as well as the script, were created by AI based on the content I provided, namely, my manuscript. It is my material. While the voices are not real people, the information remains accurate, and this production was created transparently without any intent to mislead. I appreciate you listening.…

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”Inspire Us” with J. Paul Nadeau

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Episode 123: We the Same: A Journey of Resilience and Humanity - Guest: Sangeeta Wylie 1:02:45

37 weeks ago1:02:45

1:02:45

Let's face it, life hits hard sometimes. So if you find your hopes and dreams and mental well-being needs a boost, you're tuned into the right podcast. Welcome to Inspire Us with your host, J. Paul Nadeau, a former hostage negotiator turned motivational speaker and acclaimed author of Take Control of Your Life . Intro: I'm so excited. I'm not only with the playwright of an amazing and true story, but I'm with a wonderful human being, somebody that I've known for several years, someone I met in the acting community. In this episode, we're going to dive deep into a story that resonates across cultures and generations. I'm your host, J. Paul Nadeau, and today we have the privilege of speaking playwright Sangeeta Wyley about her profound and evocative play, We the Same . The play delves into the harrowing experiences of Vietnamese refugees, the boat people, who fled their homeland in search of safety and a new beginning after the fall of Saigon in 1975. Through vivid storytelling and richly drawn characters, Sangeeta brings to life the perilous journeys these refugees undertook, facing threats like pirate attacks, treacherous typhoons, and the uncertainty of refugee camps. Their physical struggles are just one layer of the narrative. The play delves deeper into the emotional and psychological challenges of displacement, the loss of home, the fragmentation of families, and the struggle to maintain one's cultural identity in an unfamiliar land. We the Same is more than just a historical account of the journey from Vietnam; it's a universal tale of resilience and the human spirit's capacity to endure and heal. Sangeeta weaves her own journey into the narrative, bridging connections between cultures and generations. She invites us to reflect on what it means to belong, to overcome adversity, and to reconcile with our past while forging a path forward. Join us as we uncover the layers of this remarkable work and the profound messages it carries about identity, survival, and the bonds that tie us together.…

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”Inspire Us” with J. Paul Nadeau

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Episode 122: Mastering Influence: From Hostage Negotiation to Everyday Success 1:31:46

50 weeks ago1:31:46