Active Shooter Protocols Vs. Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Practices Keeping Them Safe podcast

16:44

Send us a text Programs for children are designed to empower them to resist the overtures of a predator. They teach children to say "No!", run away and tell somebody when another scares them or makes them uncomfortable. This episode considers that the opportunity of programs for children could and possibly should be expanded to teach them how to establish and enforce personal boundaries in a world that expects them to be "polite" all the time.…

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How is it for our LGBTQ+ kids today? 34:54

5 weeks ago34:54

34:54

Send us a text This episode includes a Rachel Stanton, LCSW, who works with this particularly vulnerable population who talks with Sharon about what it means to these kids when we do our job as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and responsible adults to ensure a safe environment. If you are interested in contacting Rachel directly, please use this link: https://emdrintensivesboston.com/ .…

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Predators are Experts - Are We? 12:53

12 weeks ago12:53

12:53

Send us a text In this episode we look at what it is to be an "expert" and examine whether predators are "experts" in seducing our children. We also look at what it takes to become experts at identifying the risky behaviors that threaten the safety of our children and particularly look at the risks from other children.…

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THE PROBLEM WITH LABELS 15:28

14 weeks ago15:28

15:28

Send us a text As a society we are prone to "label" everything and everyone. Just think about the forms you fill out that ask you to check a box to say whether you are "married," "single," "widowed," or "divorced." Whichever box you mark labels you as a certain thing and you are then related to as that. This episode shares some ideas about the impact of labels on both those who have been molested and those who have been accused and invites us to consider letting go of labels and relating to the people as just that - people.…

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STEPS IN THE GROOMING PROCESS 24:14

15 weeks ago24:14

24:14

Send us a text We are learning about the behaviors that are common elements in the grooming process as we become Alert Adults. In this episode, we start to consider how the predator actually uses those behaviors to negotiate the steps it takes to go from meeting a child for the first time to accomplishing their goal of sexual abuse. We look at how the behaviors appear and how they forward each of the steps toward the predators goal.…

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Expanding No, Go, and Tell 13:50

19 weeks ago13:50

13:50

Send us a text This episode offers ideas for expanding the simple concept of most programs that educate children about prevention. The typical program teaches a version of "Say No, Get Away and Tell Somebody." As our goal is prevention by creating safe environments, in this episode we look at how to expand that conversation in a way that empowers our children to establish and enforce personal boundaries, not just stop predators.…

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The Child Molesters Already Among Us 14:36

22 weeks ago14:36

14:36

Send us a text In this episode we discuss some research that looked at those child molesters who are already working in the organizations that our children are part of. Who are they and how do we find them and eliminate the risk to our children? What, if anything, makes them distinct from the predators in our families and the volunteers in our organizations?…

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Why practice? 11:34

24 weeks ago11:34

11:34

Send us a text This episode considers why "good" parents, grandparents, and guardians need to make the effort to find out more about predators and how they operate. Why do we need to practice to learn and why do we need to be on watch all the time?

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Santa Magic 11:37

26 weeks ago11:37

11:37

Send us a text This episode provides some easy to follow guidelines for a "safe" and magical trip to visit Santa. There are tips for parents, guardians, and grandparents about how to ensure the visit is as magical as it can be and tips for Santa to ensure that there is no worry for the parents who bring their children.…

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Active Shooter Protocols vs. Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Practices 17:30

31 weeks ago17:30

17:30

Send us a text This episode explores the challenges faced by schools dealing with active shooter protocols while committing to create safe environments that thwart sexual predators. The challenges are identified and possible solutions offered that give parents and teachers a pathway to finding solutions that do both - or at least don't significantly compromise either.…

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Where do we start? 17:46

33 weeks ago17:46

17:46

Send us a text This episode speaks about the core tenets of the programs of KEEPING THEM SAFE. We talk about what matters in the development of programs and why and what the program is intended to communicate and provoke.

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Safe Environments in Schools and Organizations 15:18

38 weeks ago15:18

15:18

Send us a text In this episode we look at some suggestions based on the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Children to help school and organization staff and volunteers work with parents to establish the safest possible environment for children during the school year. The principles cited by the UN can help focus the efforts of concerned adults and guide the development of policies, procedures, and practices that work.…

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What predators tell us about grooming activities. 24:42

39 weeks ago24:42

24:42

Send us a text In this episode we discover some very clear, very specific ways that these potentially risky behaviors show up in reality. We see, from the mouths of predators, how they use the activities that we view as simple and normal to develop trust with children, parents, and communities.

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Viewing the Issue through Today's Eyes 15:26

41 weeks ago15:26

15:26

Send us a text This episode reminds us that the effort to address child sexual abuse as a public problem or a public health problem is not new - even if it seems it might be so. How this became a public problem and when that happened can help us understand why it appears to be taking so long to stop it from happening.…

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Noticing the Behavioral Signs of Predators 23:17

42 weeks ago23:17

23:17

Send us a text There are a few behaviors that we know are part of the predators grooming process. These behaviors have been identified for us by those who use them to groom children. In this episode we reinforce three of the behaviors and remind ourselves that is takes time and practice to be able to fully recognize the behaviors and stop them when they show up in the environment.…

Keeping Them Safe

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Chaperoning Young People 17:01

45 weeks ago17:01

17:01

Send us a text Are you the chaperone for the school field trip or the sponsor that is traveling on the bus to music competition or the parent who volunteers to ride the bus with the football team or cheerleaders? This episode is an opportunity for you to consider what it takes to ensure that the environment on these occasions and others where you are responsible for young people are safe for all involved.…

Keeping Them Safe

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No Tipping Point 24:24

47 weeks ago24:24

24:24

Send us a text This discussion reminds us of what it takes to shift a paradigm and how difficult it is to get anyone to listen to what we have to say until they can give up their conviction that what we promote can't be done.

Keeping Them Safe

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A Real Story About Real People 23:03

49 weeks ago23:03

23:03

Send us a text This episode tells the story of a priest's seduction of young men in the parish where he served and how he was able to accomplish this under the watchful eye of parents and other adults. Sharon's family is a part of this story. She knows everyone involved and has had the opportunity to interview the principal complainant and others about what happened. It is a careful and open look at how it happens in a community and how careful and crafty the priest was in making sure he was protected and, at the same time, was able to satisfy his sexual needs with these young men.…

Keeping Them Safe

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The Thing About Female Perpetrators 17:23

51 weeks ago17:23

17:23

Send us a text Most people assume that the majority of perpetrators of child sexual abuse are men and while that is accurate, at least 20% of all child sexual abuse is committed by women and almost 80% of the time it is a biological parent - a mother - who is the offender. This episode starts to deal with the unique issues of discovering abuse by a female parent or sibling and what we know and don't know about how this happens.…

Keeping Them Safe

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Background checks and Sex Offender Registries - How do they help? 17:42

1 year ago17:42

17:42

Send us a text Many people think that Sex Offender registries and background checks can solve the problem of potentially risky adults. However, that is not the case. They do have their place in the entire process of creating safe environments and in this episode, we talk about what to do with the information from both sources in efforts to keep children safe from predators.…

Keeping Them Safe

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Why is it not handled yet? 26:27

1 year ago26:27

26:27

Send us a text As today's society seems to focus on everything happening quickly and being handled with velocity, there's a lot of frustration about why child sexual abuse still is not handled. Why are there still predators seducing our children? This podcast reminds us that some societally issues take a long time to accomplish and points us toward the need to keep going in the right direction to have this issue become a "thing of the past."…

Keeping Them Safe

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It's Not Just Our Problem 20:33

1 year ago20:33

20:33

Send us a text This episode presents the results of an Australian study that demonstrates that predators the world over are using the same techniques and activities to gain access to our children, to groom them, the parents, and the community. Listen to what they say are the strategies they use to get their way.…

Keeping Them Safe

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Child Abuse Prevention Month - How can I help? 18:38

1 year ago18:38

18:38

Send us a text This short conversation reminds us of the reasons for April being name Child Abuse Prevention Month and offers some ways we can call attention to the need for all of us to have our attention on what it takes to keep children safe.

Keeping Them Safe

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Answering Unanswered Questions about the Numbers 17:06

1 year ago17:06

17:06

Send us a text This episode includes a discussion of where the "numbers" come from in the conversation for prevention of sexual abuse of children and how these numbers were determined. We also look at how these numbers launched the conversation that child sexual abuse is a societal epidemic and what that can mean for the issue. Listen to settle for yourself that this issue is worthy of a determination that it is a societal epidemic.…

Keeping Them Safe

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Blue is the Color of Prevention 13:52

1 year ago13:52

13:52

Send us a text This episode reminds us that April is Child Abuse Prevention Month and Blue is the color of prevention. Listen for ideas that you can share with others to draw attention to prevention and ways you can call attention to the issue yourself.

Keeping Them Safe

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Answers to Unanswered Questions 23:07

1 year ago23:07

23:07

Send us a text In this episode we begin to answer some questions that seem to be universal. They are often in the background of our thinking as we go through the training or listen to the podcasts. We begin by talking about the part/responsibility parents have in preventing child sexual abuse and what, if any, risks there are to children of good parents.…

Keeping Them Safe

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Its Everyone's Job 12:03

1 year ago12:03

12:03

Send us a text While we all want to think that children are safe the fact is that they are not. This episode looks at how we can take responsibility for making sure that there are safe environments for all children and that we create a world that works for eveyone.

Keeping Them Safe

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Online Language Used by Predators 18:04

1 year ago18:04

18:04

Send us a text In this episode, we being to investigate the world of online solicitation by considering that there are unique aspects of this world. For one, the only tool a predator has is language, so all the potentially risky behaviors are manifested in the way the predator speaks to the child. Recent research has provided us with some hints about what to look for in our children's online chats to determine who is really at the other end of the conversation.…

Keeping Them Safe

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Are Adolescents Safer Online? 20:43

1 year ago20:43

20:43

Send us a text In this episode there is a discussion of recent research that gives us some insight into the world of young people online. It considers that, although we know that in person social relationship are supportive and important, the fact is that adolescents, particularly those in the LGBTQ+ Community are convinced they are safer in online relationships. The conversation gives us some access to being able to tap into this trust of the Internet to raise awareness among adolescents about the risks of online relationships.…

Keeping Them Safe

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When the Risky Adult is Family 12:55

1 year ago12:55

12:55

Send us a text Challenging the potentially risky behavior of beloved members of the family is the most difficult aspect of Keeping Them Safe. We must be willing to speak up and speak out and model that behavior to our children if we are to expect them to be willing to do the same. In this episode we examine what that looks like in reality.…

Keeping Them Safe

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Labeling and How It Impacts Us 16:54

1 year ago16:54

16:54

Send us a text In this episode, we consider the labels that society places on all of us at times and how labeling others can impact how we see them, how they see themselves, and how the world relates to them. We consider that leaving off the labels and focusing on the behavior is the way to accomplish our mission.…

Keeping Them Safe

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Santa Safety - Preserving the Magic 15:40

2 years ago15:40

15:40

Send us a text In this episode we identify some things to consider during this holiday season when children are excited to visit Santa. How do you make sure that the experience is one of joy and love and magic and protect your child from a potential predator at the same time. You can do that with a few simple steps. Preserve the magic - and enjoy the holiday.…

Keeping Them Safe

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What Else Offenders Have to Say 26:03

2 years ago26:03

26:03

Send us a text In this episode, we continue to look at what child molesters can tell us about how they are able to gain access to our children, how they cultivate trusting relationships with us, and how they lure our children into situations and environments that place them at high risk. The practical aspects of what it looks like to keep children safe are a real value in this episode.…

Keeping Them Safe

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What Offenders Can Tell Us 27:50

2 years ago27:50

27:50

Send us a text In this episode we take a look at some research from a different source to see how an investigation from a criminal perspective can reinforce and perhaps enhance the value of what we are discovering in this journey. What can offenders tell us about how they work to develop and cultivate relationships that give them access to our children that will help us create and maintain safe environments and promote Keeping Them Safe.…

Keeping Them Safe

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Monitoring Outside Programs Using Your Facility 19:26

2 years ago19:26

19:26

Send us a text Many organizations have agreements with area schools, organizations, and programs to share facilities. This episode looks at the challenges of ensuring that those outside organizations are complying with the standards you set for your facilities and programs to ensure safety for all concerned.…

Keeping Them Safe

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UN Convention on the Rights of the Child 26:30

2 years ago26:30

26:30

Send us a text This episode speaks to the establishment of actual physical environments that promote safe environments using the context of the guidelines set forth in the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. Patents, administrators, teachers, volunteers and vendors can gain insight into how to establish policies, procedures, and practices that preserve and promote safety and how to ensure that all those who engage in activities on the premises also comply.…

Keeping Them Safe

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Female Perpetrators - Who are they? 21:22

2 years ago21:22

21:22

Send us a text This episode intends to dispel any notion that we "know" where to look for potential perpetrators because of who they are. It also deals with new research about female perpetrators and the devastating consequences for our children of our failure to look in their direction for the behaviors we know place children at risk of harm.…

Keeping Them Safe

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Grandparents and "Gift Giving" 18:36

2 years ago18:36

18:36

Send us a text This episode considers the challenges faced by parents when grandparents, aunts and uncles don't seem to be able to follow the parents' rules or avoid giving gifts without permission. Grandparents and aunts and uncles can see how their unwillingness to pay attention to this warning sign places children at risk of harm from other adults with a different agenda.…

Keeping Them Safe

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Preventing Always Being Alone with Children 24:11

2 years ago24:11

24:11

Send us a text In this episode we continue a discussion of the Potentially Risky Adult behaviors by considering what it looks like in reality when someone "always wants to be alone with children" and how we can stop that from happening.

Keeping Them Safe

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CSA Prevention Reimagined 19:15

2 years ago19:15

19:15

Send us a text In this episode the need for reinvention of prevention efforts throughout the child welfare system is discussed including references to a presentation by Dr. Jerry Milner, former Associate Director of The Children’s Bureau and Acting Commissioner of the US. Government’s Administration for Children, Youth and Families. Dr. Milner addresses the need for reinventing our prevention efforts to focus on primary prevention and the challenges that effort faces in the current structure of child welfare.…

Keeping Them Safe

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Recognizing Problematic Sexual Behavior in Children 27:03

2 years ago27:03

27:03

Send us a text Dr. Maggie Ingram, Health Scientist, from the CDC’s National Center for Injury Prevention and Control and Division of Violence Prevention’s Child Abuse, Neglect, and Adversity Team joins us to talk about a topic that can sometimes be uncomfortable or hard to discuss: problematic sexual behavior among children. In this podcast, you will gain an understanding of what’s healthy and appropriate sexual behavior when young children are developing and what is problematic or harmful sexual behavior in our kids. Note: The opinions and statements in this podcast are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the official position of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. · parents | National Center on the Sexual Behavior of Youth (ncsby.org) · INTRODUCTION | National Center on the Sexual Behavior of Youth (ncsby.org) · saam_2013_an-overview-of-healthy-childhood-sexual-development.pdf (nsvrc.org) · Taking Action (Children) – PDF Download | Safer Society Press · Taking Action (Adolescents) – PDF Download | Safer Society Press · The-Hackett-Continuum.pdf (centralsexualhealth.org)…

Keeping Them Safe

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Frequently Asked Question 21:37

2 years ago21:37

21:37

Send us a text In this episode, Sharon answers several of the questions that have repeatedly been asked of her over the last 25 years as she has presented programs to adults around the country. Among the questions are those that identify the different types of predators that molest our children, why the children feel guilty when they are victimized, and what percentage of abuse occurs in families.…

Keeping Them Safe

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Insolating and Secluding Children 25:09

2 years ago25:09

25:09

Send us a text In this episode we look at the ways that predators in our environments groom us so that they are free to gain access to our children in secluded areas. Consider that there are effective ways that potential predators manipulate us into giving them free reign with our children and until we recognize those ways of being and acting and interrupt them, the children in our environment are at risk. Take a few minutes to listen to this conversation to gain insight into how you can be the catalyst for stopping these actions on the part of others and intervening in risky situations.…

Keeping Them Safe

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Summer In the Park 19:03

2 years ago19:03

19:03

Send us a text In this episode we explore how we, as responsible, caring, alert adults can make a difference by simply bringing our already exceptional abilities to notice what's happening around us to the summer adventures we have with the children in our lives. We know how to pay attention and take note of the things that are happening around us but do we always bring that ability to the times when we are with our children at the park or on an adventure of some sort.…

Keeping Them Safe

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Who are these people anyway? 20:02

2 years ago20:02