FMW - Preparing for Death, Living Fully: A Conversation with a Kenyan Death Doula

Legally Clueless

In this deeply moving and eye-opening episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango sits down with Joy, a Kenyan death doula, to talk about the one thing we’re all running from: death. But this isn’t a morbid conversation — it’s tender, honest, practical, and filled with powerful reflections on grief, caregiving, legacy, and how talking about death actually helps us live more intentionally.
Joy shares what it means to be a death doula, how she supports families emotionally and logistically during the dying process, and why we must start preparing for our deaths even when we feel young and healthy. She opens up about personal experiences that led her to this work, the grief she carries, and why conversations about death are an act of resistance, healing, and love. What We Discuss:

• What a death doula does (it’s more than funeral planning)
• Preparing emotionally, spiritually, and practically for your death
• The power of presence at the bedside of the dying
• End-of-life planning for individuals and families
• Navigating grief without rushing or judging it
• Cultural taboos around death and how to break the silence
• The difference between showing up with empathy vs. compassion

Connect with Joy:
https://www.instagram.com/deathdoula.ke
https://www.instagram.com/archiekinkin
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Watch the video version: https://youtu.be/Hisqh5IgpGA
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