Let Them Build It Wrong: Why Great Leaders Allow Mistakes

Mental Health Potluck

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Picture this: Someone's struggling with IKEA furniture, about to install the back panel upside down. Do you jump in to fix it or let them learn through failure? That split-second decision reveals the essence of your leadership philosophy.
Leadership styles aren't random – they're deeply influenced by our own histories. Some of us become "fixers" who proactively correct problems, stepping in before mistakes happen. We may have been over-parented by well-meaning adults who rescued us from every challenge, teaching us that mistakes are dangerous and need immediate correction. Or perhaps we were under-supported, forced to become hyper-responsible because no one else would help.
The alternative approach is the "facilitator" leadership style. Facilitators create space for growth, even when it means allowing people to stumble. They understand that true learning often requires struggle and reflection. By resisting the urge to rescue, facilitators build environments where people develop genuine confidence and problem-solving abilities.
This isn't just about management strategies – it's about psychology. Theory X and Theory Y perspectives, locus of control, and self-determination theory all help explain why some leaders foster independence while others create dependency. When we constantly fix problems for others, we inadvertently communicate that they lack competence. But when we facilitate learning, we nurture autonomy and internal motivation.
Ready to evolve your leadership approach? This week, challenge yourself to let someone assemble that IKEA shelf their way. Create space for them to struggle, reflect, and ultimately grow. True leadership isn't about being the smartest person with all the answers – it's about knowing when your silence is more valuable than your solution. Your restraint might be exactly what someone needs to discover their own capability.

About Danny Clark
Danny Clark is a licensed clinical social worker and family therapist based in Houston, Texas. As the founder of Texas Insight Center, he specializes in helping individuals, couples, and families navigate mental health challenges with practical, evidence-based approaches.
💡 Is therapy right for you? Let’s talk. If you’re struggling with stress or emotional regulation or just want to explore healthier coping strategies, reach out for a consultation. Visit www.texasinsightcenter.com to learn more and schedule a session.
📩 Have a question or topic suggestion? Send it to [email protected]
You can also follow me on Instagram @texasinsightcenter or visit my webpage at texasinsightcenter.com

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Chapters

1. The IKEA Furniture Leadership Test (00:00:00)

2. Fixers vs Facilitators Explained (00:01:18)

3. How Childhood Shapes Leadership Style (00:03:01)

4. Psychological Theories Behind Leadership Styles (00:05:26)

5. Building Growth-Oriented Leadership (00:08:26)

6. Challenge and Final Thoughts (00:13:37)