Midlife Reset: How to Let Go and Begin Again, with Erik ten Have

Mid-life Men: the mental health podcast

What happens when the life you’ve built no longer feels like the life you’re meant to live?

At 54, Erik walked away from a long marriage, left the country he’d called home for 25 years, rebuilt in Spain, survived a stroke, and is now creating a new business in AI. His story isn’t one of reckless reinvention, but of deliberate choices, awareness, and courage to face change head-on.

In this conversation, Erik and I talk about:

• Letting go with respect - how to end a marriage without bitterness, and why separation can sometimes be the most loving decision.
• Redesigning life from the ground up - why moving country, shedding possessions, and starting fresh can be liberating rather than terrifying.
• Stress-testing excuses - how to see through the reasons you tell yourself you “can’t” change.
• Inner calm and outer change - the principle that your external world follows your inner state, and why silence, clarity, and self-reflection matter more than outside noise.
• Health as a wake-up call - what Erik learned from a stroke about stress, resilience, and treating recovery as training, not decline.
• Work and purpose in midlife - why building businesses (not just wealth) can be a creative outlet, and how AI may offer new doors for reinvention.
• Freedom over possessions - the surprising relief of divesting assets and living light.
• First steps for anyone stuck - the role of awareness, perspective, and honest conversation in beginning the shift towards a more fulfilling life.

This is not a story about easy fixes. It’s about recognising signals, taking responsibility for your choices, and discovering that on the other side of fear, there’s freedom.
If you’re in midlife and feeling trapped, Erik’s journey shows that change is possible, step by step, with awareness, patience, and the courage to listen to yourself.