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#91- Unspoken Agreements: When Hurtful Words Become Your Truth
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“Let it go.” “Shake it off.” “Don’t let what they said get to you.”
We’ve all heard these lines. Maybe we’ve even said them to ourselves. But what happens when the words don’t bounce off? When they actually stick—and quietly start shaping how we see ourselves?
Dr. Phyllis unpacks the unspoken agreements we make with hurtful words. The ones we don’t even realize we’ve internalized. Maybe someone at work said something that hit too close. Maybe a family member made a comment that felt like a jab. And instead of confronting it, we absorbed it. We told ourselves to keep going. To be strong. To be resilient.
But somewhere along the way, we stopped questioning those words—and started believing them. Dr. Phyllis explains how words that go unchallenged can influence our identity and quietly chip away at our inner power. She invites us to pause and ask: What wounds were opened by what was said? Have I been carrying words that were never meant for me?
She walks us through her ARC framework—a way to reclaim who we are and what we believe. Acknowledge the wound. Name the moment. Reclaim your truth by asking: Do I even believe this? Cancel the agreement by speaking new words. Words that align with who you are, not who someone else claimed you were.
One of the most powerful tools she suggests? Writing a wound word release letter. Something simple and honest. “I’ve been carrying the words ____. They were never mine to hold. I choose to release them.”
Because yes, words have power. But so do you. And you get to decide which ones you carry forward.
Quotes from Today’s Episodes:
"Words that go unchallenged can quietly shape your identity and influence your inner power."
"I've been carrying the words blank, but today I release them. They do not define me. I choose to believe this and I choose to walk in that truth."
(00:00) Marginalized and Undervalued Experiences
(06:29) Spiritual Warfare and Self-Realization
(08:07) "Unchallenged Words Shape Identity"
(14:22) "Break Negative Agreements"
(15:14) Release Limiting Words
(20:11) Embrace the Power of Yes
(22:39) "Grow the Own Your Yes Community"
Let’s Connect:
http://drphyllishayesreams.com/
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