Q & A: My Spouse Wants to Leave. Should I Wait Around?

Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

I received a question from a listener whose husband wants to leave the marriage to seek “personal happiness.” She faces the difficult decision of whether to wait for him to find clarity or to move forward with divorce after their 24 years together, of which 13 were spent in marriage.

Here are some of the highlights from the episode:

Understanding Where Happiness is Found: I discussed the common misconception that happiness is a destination. In reality, happiness is a choice you make. Chasing after it without internal work is often fruitless.

Purposeful Separation & Marriage Goals Even Here: If separation is the route chosen, it should be approached with clear goals. Arranging a separation with a mutually agreed-upon purpose and timeframe can help both spouses understand what they truly want from the future.

Working on Yourself No Matter the Outcome: I applauded my listener for seeking therapy and emphasized the importance of continuing personal growth, regardless of her husband's decisions.

The Power of Forgiveness: Even when reconciliation is not possible, pursuing forgiveness can free individuals from bitterness and resentment, enabling them to heal and move forward positively.

When considering separation, it’s important to ask whether everything that could be done to save the marriage has been tried before deciding on divorce. This way, even if the marriage ends, you’ll know you gave it all you could give.

If you have any questions or issues in your marriage that you'd like me to address, feel free to reach out via my website or on Instagram.

Links Mentioned in this Episode:

The "7 Secret Marriage Rules" audio

For those of you considering a similar path, I suggest listening to my episode with Dr. Kim Kimberling, "Five Boxes to Check Before You Divorce" (Episode 245), to thoroughly evaluate your decision.

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