When Safety Feels Scary: Why Regulation Can Be Terrifying After Trauma

Regulate & Rewire: An Anxiety & Depression Podcast

Have you ever felt anxious about not feeling so anxious? Or had a moment of regulation trigger anxiety? In this follow-up we explore a counterintuitive but common phenomenon in trauma recovery: when finding safety and regulation actually triggers fear and anxiety. Drawing from research by Bessel van der Kolk, Stephen Porges, and Deb Dana, we examine why the regulated "green zone" can feel threatening to trauma survivors.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

→ Why trauma survivors often feel most vulnerable when regulated

→ How to identify what specific cues of safety and danger influence your nervous system

→ Techniques for building regulation capacity without triggering protective responses

→ The importance of "both/and" thinking: maintaining protection while exploring regulation

Three Takeaways:

1. Regulation happens when cues of safety outweigh cues of danger—but trauma rewires this equation, making the nervous system hypersensitive to potential threats and misinterpreting safety cues.
2. The fear of regulation isn't a failure or resistance—it's an intelligent adaptation that protected you in the past and deserves respect even as you work to expand your capacity.
3. Recovery isn't about eliminating protective responses but gradually creating reliable "islands of safety" that demonstrate regulation is survivable and eventually beneficial.

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Looking for more personalized support?

• Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)
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• Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!

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