Navigating Anxious & Avoidant Attachment Styles
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Ever feel like one of you wants to talk right now while the other suddenly needs to reorganize the garage? You're not alone. In this episode, we’re diving into the push-pull dynamic of anxious and avoidant attachment styles—what they are, why they develop, and how they play out in long-term relationships.
Drawing from the work of Dr. Daniel Siegel, Esther Perel, and the Gottmans, Katie breaks down how these patterns get wired into us, how they can evolve over time, and what couples can do to stop the cycle of conflict and disconnection.
Expect stories, laughter, a few “oh wow, that’s us” moments—and, of course, your signature relationship homework at the end.
What You’ll Learn:
- What anxious and avoidant attachment styles look like in everyday life
- Why these opposites often attract (and frustrate each other)
- Real-world couple stories that show the cycle in action
- How your attachment style can change over time in long-term love
- Practical tools to shift from reactive to responsive when attachment triggers hit
Relationship Homework: Decode Your Dance
- Identify your default (pursuer or withdrawer)
- Create a safe word or phrase to pause conflict without disconnection
- Build a “comeback ritual” for reconnection after a rupture
Listen If:
- You’ve been together 10+ years and keep hitting the same emotional wall
- One of you shuts down while the other turns up the intensity
- You want practical tools to understand your patterns and reconnect faster
Free Conversation Starter Cards for Couples
Couples Goal Setting Workbook
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