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The 3 Silent Killers of Relationships (And What to Do About Them) with Dr. Emma Smith
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In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Smith—sex therapist, PhD, and real-talk relationship expert—to unpack the three silent forces that quietly erode relationships from the inside out: contempt, conflict avoidance, and unresolved trauma.
If you’ve ever thought, “We used to be so close. What happened?”—this episode will help you understand not just the what, but the why. You’ll also walk away with real tools to stop the emotional disconnection in its tracks and start creating more intimacy, honesty, and repair.
We’re talking subtle eye-rolls, the “I’m fine” shutdown, old trauma showing up in new arguments—and how to turn it all around.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why contempt is like a slow leak in a relationship—and what it sounds like in everyday interactions
- How conflict avoidance can make things worse, even if you think you're “keeping the peace”
- Why unresolved trauma shows up in the smallest arguments (think: milk left on the counter)
- How gender norms and emotional suppression play a role in how couples communicate
- Practical tools to shift from reactivity to curiosity—so you can actually start feeling close again
- A powerful reframe for reigniting desire and rediscovering your partner (even after years together)
Homework:
Picture your partner standing in line at a coffee shop. Someone behind them finds them attractive.
What story is that stranger telling themselves about your partner?
How would they start a conversation? What would they notice?
Now—what would you say if you saw your partner through those same fresh eyes?
Connect with Dr. Emma Smith:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emmasmithphd
Email: [email protected]
Free Conversation Starter Cards for Couples
Couples Goal Setting Workbook
Level 10 Relationship Assessment
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