Why Your Brain Won’t Shut Up When You’re Dating (And How Human Design Can Help You Trust Yourself Again) with Shelby Alkire
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"Trust your feelings & verify."
Episode 79: Overthinking, Dating & Decision-Making with Shelby Alkire
In this episode of Return, Caitlan Siegenthaler sits down with Shelby Alkire to unpack the tangled web of overthinking in dating and relationships. From second-guessing every text to carrying the weight of past wounds, they explore how trauma, social media, and self-doubt shape how we show up in love.
They also dive into Human Design as a powerful tool for understanding your decision-making style—especially if you have emotional authority—and how to make more aligned, self-trusting choices in relationships. This conversation is equal parts validating and empowering for anyone who’s ever felt stuck in their head when it comes to matters of the heart.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:
- Why overthinking feels so familiar in dating
- How trauma and self-doubt drive patterns of over-analysis
- The role social media plays in distorting our relationship expectations
- How to balance intentionality with fun when dating
- How Human Design supports clearer, more confident decision-making
- The difference between emotional, sacral, splenic, and self-projected authority
- Why low-stakes decision-making practice is a game changer
- What it means to trust yourself in love
💌 Sign up for the July 14th Dating Workshop with Caitlan & Shelby:
https://enchanting-shadow-994.myflodesk.com/nk15j3ymwt
Trust yourself and have great dates!
Chapters:
02:57 – Understanding Overthinking Patterns
06:10 – The Divergence of Dating Paths
08:57 – Balancing Intentionality and Fun
11:58 – The Impact of Social Media
14:53 – Human Design & Overthinking
17:46 – The Role of Trauma in Dating
21:00 – Recognizing Relationship Patterns
23:55 – Self-Doubt & Decision Paralysis
27:00 – Human Design in Practice
29:20 – How Decision-Making Authority Works
36:16 – Exploring Authority Types
44:54 – Applying Human Design to Relationships
51:18 – Building Trust Through Daily Practice
Connect with Shelby:
Shelby's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shelbychantilly/
Shelby's Website:
https://shelbychantilly.com/about
Want to learn how to trust yourself?
Sign up for Caitlan's free podcast called Next Level Decisions:
https://enchanting-shadow-994.myflodesk.com/nextlevelpod
If this episode resonated, share it with someone who’s overthinking their love life, too.
Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe—every bit helps spread the word. And remember: your clarity is already within you. Let’s help you trust it. ✨
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