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E929 How to Deal with the Guilt of Missing Milestones and Family Events
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In this episode of the Tactical Living Podcast, hosts Coach Ashlie Walton and Sergeant Clint Walton tackle a challenge that hits close to home for many first responders: the guilt (Amazon Affiliate) of missing important milestones and family events due to shift work. Whether it’s a holiday, birthday, school recital, or anniversary, the demands of the job often mean being absent from life’s special moments. While it’s part of the career, the emotional toll can build up, leading to guilt, resentment, and feelings of disconnection from family. But here’s the truth—missing a moment doesn’t mean you’ve missed the meaning behind it. In this episode, you’ll discover five practical ways to manage guilt, stay connected with loved ones, and make up for missed time without carrying the weight of regret. 1. Why Missing Milestones Hurts So Much Missing special moments isn’t just about the event itself—it’s about feeling like you’re falling short as a spouse, parent, or family member. This guilt often stems from the pressure to "be there" for everything, even when the job makes it impossible. 2. Five Practical Ways to Remedy the Guilt of Missing Special Moments: 1. Reframe the Narrative: Presence Matters More Than Timing Example: If you missed a child’s birthday party, celebrate on your next day off with the same energy and love. Why It Works: Kids and loved ones remember how you made them feel, not the exact date on the calendar. 2. Communicate Expectations Ahead of Time Example: If you know you’ll miss a holiday or event, talk to your family early about your schedule and how you plan to make it special another way. Why It Works: Clear communication prevents disappointment and allows everyone to adjust expectations. 3. Create New Traditions Around Your Schedule Example: If you’re working Christmas, celebrate on Christmas Eve or the weekend before. Why It Works: Flexible traditions show that the connection matters more than the calendar date. 4. Stay Connected in Real Time, Even if You Can’t Be There Example: Video call during the event, send a pre-recorded message, or write a letter for a loved one to read aloud. Why It Works: Even small gestures remind your family that you’re thinking of them, easing feelings of absence. 5. Prioritize Quality Over Quantity Example: If you missed a weekend event, spend uninterrupted time with your family during your next day off—no phones, no distractions. Why It Works: Meaningful moments outweigh missed ones when you show up fully present. 3. How to Let Go of Guilt and Embrace What You Can Control: Remind yourself: You’re serving your community and providing for your family—missing an event doesn’t mean you care less. 4. How Families Can Support First Responders During Missed Milestones: Encourage open conversations about feelings of guilt and disappointment. Celebrate creatively and find joy in the moments you do share. 5. Why This Matters: Guilt can strain relationships and mental health, but with proactive communication, flexible traditions, and intentional connection, you can bridge the gap between work and family life. Listen now to discover how to move past the guilt, stay emotionally connected, and turn missed milestones into meaningful memories. 🎙️❤️
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