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108. When 'Thinking Positive' Keeps You Stuck in Bad Relationship Patterns
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Are you an ambitious, growth-oriented person who finds yourself stuck in frustrating relationship patterns? In this episode of The Art of We podcast, we explore how positive thinking—usually an asset for high achievers—can actually become a relationship blind spot. Learn how to distinguish between healthy optimism and "false positivity" that keeps you invested in misaligned partnerships or painful relationship patterns, and discover practical ways to create the deeply fulfilling relationship you truly desire.
“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer & Dr. Will Van Derveer
(00:00) Warning signs of false positivity: Recognizing cycles of hope & hopelessness in relationships
(01:25) The achievement trap: “Fixing" relationship problems solo instead of addressing them with partners
(03:58) The hidden costs of conflict avoidance: Self-development as an excuse to avoid necessary relationship conversations
(11:18) Actions vs. words: Pay attention to your partner's behavior, not their promises
(14:22) The maturity factor: Moving from hope/despair cycles to grounded conversations about relationship goals
(17:14) Essential self-reflection questions: Are you using positivity to mask relationship misalignment?
(20:06) The power of outside perspective: Trusted friends are crucial for seeing relationship patterns clearly
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