Ep 21: How to Actually Help with Lily Tsui

Interrupting Everything

In this week's episode, Nikki talks with ADHD coach Lily Tsui about how to actually help people.

Most of us like to think of ourselves as "helpers."

But is your "help" actually causing harm?

Lily and I deep dive into how helping -- especially in the ways we've been taught to -- is not always good.

This is a much needed discussion that centers around the concept of helping and gift-giving, challenging traditional notions and exploring the inefficiencies and power dynamics involved.

Nikki and Lily challenge the societal expectations of gratitude, the performative nature of helping, and the importance of self-awareness and intentionality in contributions, underscoring the need for being in relationship, (which requires communication and consultation) with those being helped, emphasizing the value of agency and practical support.

Lily teaches us about the power dynamics at play between those who require assistance and those who give and shares 1 thing you can do this week to become a better helper.

This episode also touches on the broader implications of consumerism, environmental impact, and the necessity of addressing systemic issues to change society in meaningful and sustainable ways.

Through personal anecdotes and cultural insights, this episode will support you in reflecting on your own motivations and methods of helping, and empower you to take a more effective and equitable approach to support and activism.

Lily Tsui is an ADHD Coach who is not a therapist because she prefers to just blurt out what she thinks is going on in her clients’ heads instead of guiding them gently towards a better understanding of themselves.

This is also why she had some pretty blunt things to say about how a lot of “helping”, “volunteering”, and “gift-giving” are not altruistic actions but rather self-serving activities that are more for the helper/volunteer/giver than it is for the recipients.

She does think therapy is a good idea for pretty much everybody though and her husband happens to be one. If you want to hire her for some no bullshit coaching, you can contact her via her forever in-progress website at www.goaround.ca

Tune in to this episode and let's learn together!

Special thanks to Def Sound for providing the theme for Interrupting Everything.⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣

To learn more about how to interrupt oppression, visit interruptseries.com and follow @interruptseries on Instagram.⁣