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Helping Without Hurting: Family Recovery That Works
Manage episode 484991665 series 3531791
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This week on Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are taking on one of the trickiest parts of recovery: what happens at home. Their guest, Amber Hollingsworth, is a licensed professional counselor, family recovery expert, and the brain behind the YouTube channel Put the Shovel Down. With over 20 years of experience, she helps families deal with the chaos of addiction—without burning themselves out in the process.
If you’ve ever tried to help a loved one and ended up feeling like the bad guy (or totally powerless), this conversation is going to hit close to home. Amber explains why the old-school intervention model often backfires, how shame and blame keep people stuck, and why the people closest to someone struggling with addiction often have more influence than they think.
There’s a better way—and Amber walks us through it. From her “Invisible Intervention” method to a strength-based approach that helps people reconnect with their values, she shares real tools that actually work. You'll hear how she encourages people to stop focusing on what’s going wrong and start noticing what’s still right—and how families can become part of the solution without getting dragged down by the drama.
Sonia and Kathleen also open up about their own experiences trying (and failing) to stage an intervention, what they’d do differently now, and why it's so hard to step out of the “rescuer” role when someone you love is hurting. It’s raw, it’s real, and honestly—it’s the kind of conversation that makes you rethink everything you thought you knew about helping someone get better.
This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources.
Episode Highlights (Time-Stamped):
00:01:00 – How Amber got into addiction counseling (hint: not the usual story)
00:02:30 – Growing up surrounded by addiction, and not realizing it until much later
00:04:45 – Why she started Put the Shovel Down and how it became a mission
00:05:55 – Why families often have more power than they think
00:06:40 – Creating a team approach: everyone gets their own support
00:08:20 – Why one-sided therapy can sometimes make things worse
00:10:30 – Everyone has their version of the story—and why that matters
00:12:00 – The most common way families accidentally slow down recovery
00:13:30 – When traditional interventions help—and when they totally miss the mark
00:15:00 – The bargaining stage (and why no one gets to skip it)
00:17:00 – Words that trigger defensiveness—and what to say instead
00:19:00 – What went wrong in Sonia and Kathleen’s attempt to help a family member
00:21:30 – The Invisible Intervention method explained step by step
00:23:00 – Building credit and influence with your loved one
00:25:00 – Natural consequences vs. punishment: why the difference matters
00:27:30 – What really helps someone see the problem for themselves
00:30:00 – Strength-based coaching: how Amber helps people reconnect with who they are
00:32:45 – Why it’s not about calling people out—it’s about calling them back to themselves
00:34:20 – Common values people rediscover when they stop drinking
00:36:30 – How to acknowledge addiction without crushing someone with shame
00:38:10 – Why so many middle-aged women defend their nightly wine
00:41:00 – How alcohol becomes the stand-in for self-care
00:42:00 – What to say to someone who doesn’t “seem” like they have a problem
00:43:30 – Why trying moderation might actually help you quit
00:45:00 – Navigating early sobriety when everyone around you is still drinking
00:46:00 – Final takeaway: You’re not powerless—and you don’t have to lose yourself trying to help someone else
Amber's Links
Sisters In Sobriety Links
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast
Our Sponsors:
* Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SIS2025 for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com
Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations
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