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When Family Hurts: The Truth About Estrangement With Dr. Sharon
Manage episode 483684615 series 3531791
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Navigating family dynamics can be one of the hardest parts of recovery—especially when the relationships we’re told are “unbreakable” feel anything but safe. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are joined by Dr. Sharon Martin, psychotherapist and author of Cutting Ties with Your Parents and The Better Boundaries Workbook. With over 25 years of experience, Dr. Martin helps us unpack what it really means to set boundaries with family, the complexities of estrangement, and how these issues often resurface in sobriety.
Together, we explore some big questions: How do you know when it’s time to go no-contact with a parent or family member? What’s the difference between estrangement and avoidance? How do you deal with the guilt, grief, and judgment that come up when you make that choice? And how do old family wounds start to resurface once we get sober? From emotional manipulation to the pressure to reconcile, we talk through the many layers that come with stepping away from dysfunction.
Dr. Martin offers practical tools and insights for healing—whether you’ve already gone no-contact or are just beginning to question what’s healthy for you. We talk about building self-trust through small, everyday actions, reparenting yourself when you never got what you needed growing up, and what it looks like to maintain sobriety while navigating painful family dynamics. You'll also learn why grief can show up even when you never had the kind of relationship you're mourning.
This episode is also deeply personal. Sonia opens up about grieving the mother-daughter connection she never experienced, and Kathleen shares what it feels like to question whether estrangement is truly healing or just a form of self-protection. It’s a thoughtful, honest, and empowering conversation—especially for anyone trying to make peace with their past while protecting their present.
20 TIME-STAMPED HIGHLIGHTS
[00:01:00] Meet Dr. Sharon Martin and how she found this work
[00:03:00] Growing up with alcoholism and how it shaped her path
[00:05:00] Why trauma always finds its way into therapy
[00:06:30] When a family relationship stops feeling emotionally safe
[00:08:45] Estrangement isn’t a rash decision—it’s the last resort
[00:10:30] Facing guilt, judgment, and societal pressure
[00:12:00] Why other people’s opinions don’t always reflect reality
[00:14:30] How emotional manipulation becomes normalized
[00:17:30] What healthy estrangement can actually look like
[00:20:00] When reconciliation is worth considering—and when it’s not
[00:22:00] Why false hope and outside pressure often backfire
[00:23:30] Navigating milestone events like weddings and funerals
[00:25:30] Estrangement vs. avoidance—how to tell the difference
[00:29:00] Grieving the family fantasy you never had
[00:31:00] Why complicated grief around family is valid
[00:34:00] The importance of processing feelings through movement and expression
[00:35:30] Keeping your sobriety solid while navigating emotional landmines
[00:37:00] Emotional wounds adult children of dysfunction carry
[00:40:00] Rebuilding self-worth through small, doable commitments
[00:44:00] Why early sobriety can bring childhood trauma to the surface
This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Head to our Substack for extra tools, reflections, and mocktail recipes to support your journey.
Links
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse products mentioned
Connect with Dr. Sharon Martin
📘 Cutting Ties with Your Parents – Amazon
📘 The Better Boundaries Guided Journal – Amazon
🌐 LiveWellWithSharonMartin.com
📺 YouTube
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