Step #8 – A List with Willingness (part 2)

Steps to the Spirit

so, in the first part of this step I made a serious attempt at writing a list of those persons I had harmed. I did my best to hold nothing back. At times, my rationalization got the best of me. In those early days of my current sobriety I made some serious excuses for not adding people to that list of amends. Of course, none of those excuses were valid, but they make perfectly good sense to me. For example, (and this is only one of many), there was that guy I borrow $200 from and never paid back. I decided that I really knew that guy and he wouldn’t want to even see me, no less allow me to explain the situation. I left him off the list. There were others that I made some excuse to leave off the list. Since then, I have grown stronger in my Spirit, and have been able to revisit that list and add most, if not all I had harmed to it. Looking at step number nine, I will admit there are two names on that list that, after many years, I have not been able to resolve. One has died, and the other I have complete track of. Maybe someday I will come across them.

As far as being willing to make amends to all those on my list, well, I was still afraid to approach many of them. However, God has given us the gift of willingness which truth did support me and gave me the courage to at least, at this point, list their names.

Don’t forget that in this step we are purely making a list. There are no ramifications, although I did feel pain just writing a couple of those names. I realize now that the more I was able to empty myself onto the page, the more successful the eighth step felt.