EP #47 - If You Want Confidence, You May Be Asking For the Wrong Thing!

The Brain Language Podcast

#Business #Podcasting Education #Self-Improvement #Susan Stageman, Morgan Jobe, James Lusk, and others #James Lusk #Morgan Jobe #Susan Stageman #Nlp Training Concepts #NLP #Podcast NeuroLinguistic Programming #Entrepreneur #Personal Development #Coaching #Motivation #Training #Leadership #Rapport #Transformation #Sales

31:46

BE WARNED! This podcast will contain spoilers for Wednesday Season 2, episodes 1-4. Join host Caitlin Reilly each week as she takes you deep into the twisted world of Wednesday with an amazing group of guests! And producer Thing will be helping out to make sure everything goes to plan - well, mostly, anyway... In this episode: Jenna Ortega peels back the layers on the new tension between Wednesday and Enid. And that terrifying vision! Plus… Series showrunners Al Gough and Miles Millar reveal why they made Morticia Addams such a central character in this season, and what it means for Wednesday. Whether you’re a normie or an outcast, the Wednesday Season 2 Official Woecast will be the place for all things Nevermore! For more juicy details about Wednesday Season 2, head over to Tudum.com to get all of the latest updates. 1:15 Preparing for Season 2 3:25 Evolving Wednesday’s look for Season 2 4:12 Addams clan expands for Season 2 6:12 Joanna Lumley joining the cast 7:38 Wednesday and Enid's Friendship 9:00 Wednesday’s Vision 10:50 Jenna is a Producer 13:45 Al and Miles introduction 14:03 Wednesday takes down a Serial Killer 15:05 Intergenerational Relationships & the Addams Women 17:48 Catherine Zeta-Jones as Morticia in Season 2 20:48 Wednesday and Enid’s relationship 24:04 Steve Buscemi joining the cast 26:19 Wednesday’s popular! 27:45 Boy with the Clockwork Heart stop motion sequence…

4 years ago 49:50

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When many people start out doing something new, they ask for confidence to do it. They are wanting to motivate themselves to do something new. What makes people think they can be confident doing something they have never done or done enough to get good at it. The episode discusses the Bandura Curve (the study of performance versus expectation) and how we often compare our performance to our expectations rather than where we started.
We learn how to do something and get good at it through practice and learning. Competence comes from practice. Then confidence builds from that. NLP has numerous processes that can help us with self-assurance when learning how to do something. Self-assurance is what we need to ask for!

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The Brain Language Podcast

EP #47 - If You Want Confidence, You May Be Asking For the Wrong Thing!

The Brain Language Podcast

published 4 years ago

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1
EP #89 Guiding Change and Shifting Gears 39:23

5 weeks ago39:23

39:23

Send us a text Many people find that as they move through life that they have to shift gears…a new job, a new career, family, divorce, move. Many people are looking for that “new path” when they study NLP. As we prepare for these shifts, a great way to start is to develop a set of presuppositions and guiding questions to steer the change. This will ensure that the change will stay in place. This is the step before any planning or goal setting, or even belief changes. This episode is a 5-step process to help you develop these presuppositions and guiding questions. Support the show…

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EP #88 NLP for Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Regulation 54:46

12 weeks ago54:46

54:46

Send us a text NLP for Emotional Regulation What is Emotional Intelligence? Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the capacity to recognize, understand, and navigate your emotions and those of others. It includes Self-Awareness, Emotional Regulation, Motivation, Empathy, and Social Skills. What is Emotional Regulation? Emotional Regulation (ER) is a component of EQ strategies for managing their intensity and expression and intentionally creating emotional states you want. ER skills give you greater choice over your emotional experience. NLP provides a variety of simple, effective, and unique methods and strategies for achieving this. Why is ER Important? ER is important because so much of our human experience involves our emotional states. Having the right emotional state for a situation can help us perform better. NLP Methods for Regulating Emotions Learning NLP 4-Tuple Anchoring Submodality Changes Swish Patterns Break State- pattern interrupt Meta Model Modeling: sit up straight, smile, look up. Reframing Acting as if – one of the foundational pillars of NLP Pleasant Emotional States Intentionally experiencing and amplifying states such as: - Gratitude - Appreciation - Peace - Confidence - Curiosity: Having access to pleasant/resourceful states can help us maintain physical and emotional health and energize us during difficult situations or periods in our lives. Support the show…

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EP #87 The Not-So-Subtle Art of Complaining 50:07

22 weeks ago50:07

50:07

Send us a text The Not-So-Subtle Art of Complaining Most of us complain, but is it good or bad? What makes it productive or toxic? Overview of what will be covered: Common language patterns of complaining The benefits and downsides of complaining How to shift from chronic complaining The Language of Complaints This was discovered by using AI to analyze posts on a social media platform that contained complaints. We then used the NLP Meta Model pattern to refine the search and find the 8 most common language patterns in complaints. Four of the most common patterns fit into the Meta Model, and AI discovered four patterns that are unique to complaining. Discuss the top 8 common language patterns of complaining : Negative Personal Attribution (e.g., “He’s rude,” “They’re such idiots.”) Lost Evaluator or Lost Performative Absolute Overgeneralization – Never, Always, Nothing, etc. (“They never listen”) Universal Quantifier Modal Operators – Can’t, Should, Need to (“She should know better.”) Cause/Effect Statements (“Because they lied, I’m mad,” “He’s late again, so it’s pointless now.”) Rhetorical Venting Questions - Why and How (“Why are people so annoying?”) Hyperbolic Adverbs – Totally, Absolutely, Completely (“This is totally unfair”) “Keeps” Phrases - (“She keeps yelling.” “This keeps happening.”) Sarcasm - “Thanks/Good Job” (“Oh, great job!”) Recognizing these patterns can help us avoid chronic complaining, lessen its negative impact on ourselves, or better understand how to deal with people who complain to us. The Positive Side of Complaining Exploring how complaining can be beneficial: One of the NLP presuppositions is “All behavior is useful in some context.” When does complaining serve a useful purpose? The Dark Side of Complaining Strategies to Overcome Chronic Complaining in Ourselves Key Takeaways: Complaining isn’t inherently bad—it depends on the purpose and frequency. Recognizing language patterns can help us become more mindful of our complaints. Finding balance is key - venting is okay, but chronic negativity is damaging. Practical ways to shift from unhelpful complaining to productive problem-solving. Support the show…

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EP #86 TimeLine and Goal Reaching 1:00:48

28 weeks ago1:00:48

1:00:48

Send us a text 1. What is TimeLine? A Timeline is a visual, linear experience of how someone codes and stores time. In NLP timeline is a term used to describe how we internally represent time. We internally represent the past, present, and future differently. The concept was originally laid out in the TimeLine Therapy and the Basis of Personality by Tad James and Wyatt Woodsmall. It was a project given to them by Richard Bandler. Timeline can be used to create goal representations as well as heal past traumas. 2. How can TL be used to establish goals and make them more real and likely to be achieved? Since the timeline is a visual linear representation of time, putting pictures of goals on the TL can create spatial representations of what and when something might happen. 3. Before using TL for goals establish clear goals and outcomes. Remember that goal setting and reaching is a process. It is more complex than just creating an image inside your head and saying this is what I want. The first step is to verbalize your goal in active language (versus passive language). E.g. Make $100,000 in revenue by Dec. 31, 2025. As compared to I want to be able to make …. Or I want to be better at sales. (This is not specific and uses a comparative deletion “better” which makes it difficult for the brain to figure out exactly what you mean.) Make the statement crisp and clean Establish what you want using the NLP outcome frame. This helps define details, set a direction, specify contexts, handle ecology, and create a sensory-based representation using all three primary senses. Answer all of the questions in the outcome frame. Now you are ready to create a timeline representation of the goal. 4. What is the specific process? Remember that goals usually have action steps. Divide the goal into 3 action steps with time frames. Now you are ready to place on the timeline. This process works best if you walk the timeline and use spatial anchors. Future pacing: What is the overall time frame for accomplishing this outcome or goal? Select a concrete goal or project to be accomplished in 12 months; create 3-time chunks between the present and the achievement. Now use the time line to place pictures in sequence. Notice the difference in your feeling of achieving the goal. Support the show…

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EP #85 Hunting for Treasure: Designing Treasure Boards that Work 26:53

35 weeks ago26:53

26:53

Send us a text Main Points: · Understand the goal-reaching process and what makes goals happen · Picture representation of goals for the coming year · Construct the boards for optimum effectiveness · Well-constructed boards that are ecological, align with values and Include 5 major areas of a person’s life: faith, fitness, family, friends, financial · Eyes move easily around · These work like magic · You can create anything you want and do if you are willing to do the dream and do the work 1st know what you want: written and date-specific A goal is a picture attached to a feeling: a feeling of already having achieved it. We think in three different ways –experience is made up of VAKAG The more senses involved the more likely the goal will manifest The visual channel goes into the future – be able to see yourself reading the desired outcome Movie, dissociated vs associated Write goals down – use all three senses Success = balance Anyone can make a lot of money by working 14-16 hours a day and being focused at the expense of other areas of life. Success is achieved when a person achieves their desired goals in a balanced Desire, faith expectancy – in every desire is the seed of its manifestation Do the work (be involved in the process) Have faith that the desire will be reached Goal questions: what skills do I have; what skills do I need?; how do I get the skills that I need? Goals: decide what you want, give it attention, take feedback, effortless, expect Does not achieve – feedback, adjust – may not know the bigger picture Trust the details will be handled. Give yourself a periodic reward Closely timed Understand what motivates you – what are you getting from this? Divine discontent Don’t get ready – get started When reaching a goal – set a new one at the point of fulfillment Falling short of a goal is not failure, only feedback. Many successful people don’t reach goals consistently. Set high goals to have greater achievement Peak performance 3 peak principles of high achievement – John Noe The boards 5 areas Few words Flowers add life Appeals to you Relationships – couples You may have to override the organization in your mind Sparkle – Jewelry Support the show…

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EP #84 The Imposter Syndrome: The What, The How, The Way Forward 49:23

41 weeks ago49:23

49:23

Send us a text What is Imposter syndrome? Explaining away your accomplishments and success and doubting your abilities 1. What are common examples of imposter syndrome? 2. How can you assess if you have imposter syndrome Take the quiz: Do you chalk your success up to luck, timing, or computer error? Do you believe that if I can do it, anyone can? Do you agonize over small flaws in your work? Are you crushed by even constructive criticism, seeing it as evidence of your ineptness? When you succeed, do you feel like you fooled them again? Do you worry that it’s a matter of time before you’re found out? 3. What are some statements or excuses often made by people suffering from imposter syndrome? 4. Where does I.S. come from? 5. Mastery vs Performance – Dweck. 6. What are some NLP Techniques used to Overcome Imposter Syndrome Conflict of identities, Belief changes, trauma processes, auditory swishes for neg. Self-talk. Anchoring and resource anchoring, changing the history of a problem (anchoring), reframing, modeling (understanding the model of success in your field,) meta programs, Foreground, background process - create a strong association between what is most important in the person’s awareness (foreground) and something that they are not attending to (background). 7. Bandura curve – 1st part, beliefs of capability; 2nd part beliefs of identity. 8. In time/ through time 9. recap Support the show…

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Ep #83 When Telling A Story Isn't Just Telling A Story: The Power of Metaphoric Communication 56:01

45 weeks ago56:01

56:01

Send us a text 1. What is important about stories, and metaphors in communication? When someone studies the great communicators, past and present, they all use metaphors and analogies to illustrate their points. Metaphors compare things that are less understandable to familiar things. They create new meanings, make complex ideas understandable, motivate interest, and influence ideas. They create images that people can understand rather than literal words 2. What is the difference between a story, metaphor, and an analogy? A simple story conveys a description of something. A metaphor communicates two or more levels of meaning. Using metaphors can deliver directly to the unconscious. 3. How do individual words represent our experience as metaphors? George Lakoff and Mark Johnson in their book, Metaphors We Live By state, that metaphor is pervasive in everyday life not just in language by also by thought and action. This is the concept system. It is metaphorical in nature. Our concepts structure how we perceive the world around us. Much of our language is metaphors. So we cannot get along by language alone. How we experience our everyday life is metaphorical. Communication is war. Communication is dance. Love is a journey, time is money, love is madness 4. As one of the most important and overlooked skills in communication, how can we get better at using them in everyday interactions as well as speeches? Listen to how you use words to describe things in your world. Listen to how others use words to describe their world. Look at situations – what are they like in unrelated areas? Be more intentional about listening to others. Deeper insight into people. Linking abstract ideas to concrete Support the show…

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EP #82 Breaking Patterns, Changing Beliefs, Communication: A Quick Review 59:22

1 year ago59:22

59:22

Send us a text How do we break patterns? Outcome, outcome, outcome Remember, that in the NLP model, all experience has structure. When you explore and change the structure, your experience changes, the perception, meaning, and feeling. NLP creates specific changes rather than random, trial-and-error changes. It changes things by adding resources, not taking away anything. Our experience and patterns are organized on a hierarchy of neurology from Environment, Behavior, Capability, Belief/Value, Identity, and Spiritual. Each level organizes the level underneath it. Changes at a higher level will change something underneath it but not necessarily the other way around. It is important to understand what logical level a change needs to take place for the change to be effective and long-lasting. The neuro-levels are important because they are part of a unified field that includes yourself, others' observer positions, and past present, and future. Patterns can be caused at a behavioral level, cap, belief, or identity. Interestingly, people are aware of the patterns they run (or not) but not aware of what causes them. Changing the cause at the root of the problem will create lasting change and have the change in all three primary channels. 6-step reframing behaviors, internal dialog, nail-biting, etc can be changed with parts negotiation unless it is on a higher logical level. the lower the level, the more immediate the results, and the higher, the longer the integration because it is unconscious. Anchoring can also change our states, and give us choices, and as a result, a pattern can change. If it works for a while and then comes back, you probably need a change at a higher logical level. How do we change our beliefs? Be aware that most people cannot do their own belief work because beliefs are submerged in our unconscious mind. It takes someone excellent at recognizing patterns, calibration, and asking questions to discover limiting beliefs. The first step is knowing what belief to change. This is challenging since beliefs run in packs and are slippery, according to Robert Dilts. They are mostly unconscious, in systems with a core belief that is young and hidden. One approach is to look at the behavior and ask, what do I believe to do this? What do I see hear and feel? What happens just before I start the behavior? Understand what it does for us, the positive intent and the goal of the intention, what are counterexamples to the belief, and finally, what behavior I want to do and what would I have to believe to do that behavior. And then, of course, belief statements are simple, they are beliefs, not behaviors, and have no ecological downsides. How do we communicate most effectively? Simply by speaking to another’s understanding. We communicate the way we understand words. So people who are like us, understand us and people not like us don’t. It limits the number of people we can connect with and promotes a lot of misunderstanding and miscommunication. The more we are like a person the more the understanding. The skills to engage for excellence in communication: perceptual positions, calibration, sensory awareness, rapport (m and p) and to influence, and lead. Ask questions (curiosity), state management, and control over your own internal dialogue. Support the show…

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EP #81 The Endless Merry-go-round. How do I Get Off? Ups and Downs of Success 17:08

1 year ago17:08

17:08

Send us a text This is a Podcast Short. It addresses the cycle of ups and downs that some people experience when building a business or learning something new. In the podcast, I tackle some of the challenges by using NLP session flow from creating a well-formed outcome to what to look for when modeling a mentor. I talk about the complexities of modeling, optimum strategies for success, the factors of genius, belief changes, and the Unified Field in NLP. The short version: · Outcome first! In all three primary channels. · At what logical level does the change need to take place? Remember that behaviors are usually not behavioral issues but come from a lack of capability and limiting beliefs. · If working in the land of beliefs – what is the behavior telling you? What would they have to believe to do the behaviors? What is the positive intention of the beliefs, both old and new? Is it a belief in capability or identity · Future pace in all three primary channels. · Changes, especially in belief/identity issues, are through-time processes. Support the show…

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EP # 80 Sleep Oh Wonderful Sleep! 50:47

1 year ago50:47

50:47

Send us a text I’m receiving more and more requests from people to help them with their lack of ability to fall asleep, stay asleep, and get restful sleep. So that they can wake up rested. Sleep is difficult because of the things we keep track of or have to take care of. Sleep is a big part of calming your nervous system to manage stress (EP 79). Hosts discuss why people can’t fall asleep. 1. How does NLP help us when it comes to getting a good night's sleep? Strategies, routine, remove lights, avoid, light, screens, heavy foods, alcohol, caffeine. 2. Now that you have a routine in place, here are some tricks and techniques for the occasional stress we might experience. 1. Relax your body. Stretch calves, neck muscles, facial muscles. One technique is to tense your whole body and then let go. 2. TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE DOING TO FALL ASLEEP, STAY ASLEEP UNTIL I’M READY TO WAKE UP (unless there is danger or someone calls me) 3. Relax your jaw and your eyelids 4. Visualize a very relaxing scene, such as a lake with glass-like water, a beautiful landscape, the ocean on a calm day, a time when you were in nature and fell asleep. Use submodalities to adjust the color and movement, even the location. Experiment to see what causes your body to relax the most. 5. Counting seems to be popular. Here are some examples: 1, 2, 3, 4 – 2, 2, 3, 4 – 3, 2, 3, 4 and so on. Very monotonous but you have to think about it to keep track. Count backwards from 100. Also, see the numbers as you count. 6. Slow your breathing – you mentioned this last month. 7. See the word deeper and overwrite it over and over. 8. Some people like very cool to cold air temperatures. Sleep studies often have a person sleeping in 55-degree temps. 3. NLP techniques to help you: submodalities, mental lockers, change internal dialog, 6-step reframe, circle of excellence. Change your mental channel like a TV channel. 4. Recap the pattern: 1. Develop a routine that excludes screen time, lights, TV, alcohol, and heavy foods but includes, low light, relaxation, and feeling comfortable. The Circle of Excellence. 2. TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE DOING TO FALL ASLEEP, STAY ASLEEP UNTIL I’M READY TO WAKE UP (unless there is danger or someone calls me) 3. Use a counting technique or the lockers and/or adjust submodalities 4. Make sure your body is relaxed. 5. Slow your breathing and make it slightly deeper. 6. Fall asleep. Ta-da! And you will. Before you know it you are waking up in the morning! Support the show…

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Ep # 79 Calming the Neurological Storm Using NLP: Effective Stress Management 1:07:05

1 year ago1:07:05

1:07:05

Send us a text Morgan recently started a coaching and training business that focuses on helping corporate leaders, professionals, and entrepreneurs control and reduce stress. This episode covers the problem with stress in society, what stress is, how it affects our body, and how to use NLP and other processes to reduce stress. It is estimated that 75-90% of all health problems are caused by or related to stress. Impacts: Damages neural pathways. Interferes with decision-making and judgment. Suppresses the immune system. Strains the heart and other organs. Ages people prematurely. Not all stress is bad. It’s normal. The problem is prolonged stress. NLP has a lot of tools for changing how we interpret and represent events in our minds. Outcomes SCORE Neurological Levels Submodality Changes Change Personal History Resource Anchoring Gratitude Reframing Separating Behavior from Intent – useful for anger and irritation toward others Support the show…

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Ep #78 What's the SCORE? A Pathway from the Cause of the Problem to Your Outcome 37:10

1 year ago37:10

37:10

Send us a text Podcast #78 1. What is the Score? The score is a process developed by Todd Epstein and Robert Dilts that creates an established pathway for change. It is part of the unified field theory developed by Robert Dilts. It is nestled between defining the problem state SOAR (State, operator, results) and the TOTE (test, operate, test exit), checks and balances along the pathway. 2. What does the score do? It defines the smallest amount of information to produce a change. The S.C.O.R.E. Model enriches the Present State/Desired State description by adding simple distinctions. The letters represent Symptoms, Causes, Outcomes, Resources, and Effects. This is the minimum amount of information needed in any process of change or healing. It uses spatial anchoring. 3. What does SCORE stand for? Symptoms, causes, outcomes, effects, and resources. The S.C.O.R.E. Model uses the path between the present state and the desired state and the wisdom of the body to create change. 4. How does it work? 5. How can you use it and what can you use it with? Used as is and added a resource to the cause OR from the Cause use another process in NLP – reimprinting, reframing, belief change, timeline, etc. Use it to establish a clean clear outcome and ensure it is in the body. Support the show…

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Ep #77 Rodger Bailey, the Master of the LAB Profile Interview 53:42

2 years ago53:42

53:42

Send us a text We are starting this new year with a star-studded program featuring none other than Rodger Bailey, developer of the LAB profile! If you are a student of NLP you will recognize this name. Rodger developed a training program for managers to recognize a person's functional capabilities and motivational triggers using a simple linguistic interview, so managers can know which tasks that person can do well and how to influence and motivate them. Here are some of the questions he answered: 1. I’ve given our audience a little background on you. Would you be willing to add to that information? You have a long and significant career in NLP and the Meta Programs. 2. How did you come to develop the LAB profile? 3. What can the LAB profile be used for? How is it important in Business as well as therapy and coaching? 4. Could you give us some examples of how you’ve used it in some of your Projects? 4 case examples Let me tell you a story about the time I helped an airline become the lowest complaint-ratio airline in the USA and how they stayed that way for decades. Case 2 A gold and diamond jewelry manufacturer wanted to grow his business from $2m to $5m annually. Case 3 A Manager of multiple franchise hair-cutting salons was having a turnover problem with his hair stylists across all his salons. He wanted a solution, where those he signed up would happily stay for years. He used the LAB Profile to profile his existing long-term stylists across all his salons. Case 4 In the late ‘70s, a Dallas-based computer tech company had built a very successful business installing modern computer processing services for governments all around the world. I was able to interview 6 of those Managers who were actively hiring new Programmer Analysts, and I discovered that all of them based much of their successful hiring approach on something they called ‘Challenge.’ 5. Do you think that some patterns are more important in some contexts? Are some patterns easier to spot? Are there some situations where patterns become obvious? Are there some LAB patterns that are more important in some contexts? Each context tends to have its own set of critical or significant patterns. The LAB Profile gives us a wide array of patterns to recognize, understand, and utilize. One of my most common thoughts is that everything changes by context. 6. Is the LAB profile useful in personal relationships? How and an example? Yes, and It is important to have a lot of LAB Profile experience (lots of people, lots of interventions, etc.) before you try to take your LAB Profile knowledge and techniques into your personal relationships. 7. What is a good way to get a hold of you? Email me directly at rodger.bailey.2000@gmail.com 8 . Do you have an online class that people can access? Yes, I have an online self-study course: It is important to understand that the LAB Profile will become a trusted skill set, which you will be able to use in almost every context to give you an advantage. Link to the online LAB Profile course: https://bit.ly/3rcC5Ai Limited Time Offer: Get a massive discount using this Discount Code: MpMXZ1SIq5Tnw3c1YBqoMQ== Support the show…

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EP #76 Holiday Survival Kit 36:12

2 years ago36:12

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Send us a text Here is my prescription for a happy holiday if not a tolerable one… Set an outcome to have fun and enjoy the holidays. Get plenty of rest Sugar and alcohol place a huge strain on your biological system. Taking care of yourself might also include meditation and prayer. And exercise – even a walk every day or every other day brings positive benefits. Another issue connected to taking care of yourself is setting boundaries: Boundary lesson: Say no when you can say no. it seems that so many people and companies cram into 24 days of December gatherings and parties. Be judicious about which ones you attend. People spend a lot of money…. Determine and manage a budget for spending. It is so easy to say, “Oh, I’ll deal with my credit cards next year.” But next year is closer than you think and amassing a large debt can put you into high stress. You can do a conflict resolution with yourself to resolve the pull between what you want to spend and what would be prudent. Big challenge dealing with family members Ignoring them won’t necessarily make them disappear. Here are some strategies I’ve used over the years a. Do anchoring and attach the person to something you love or a resource that gives you better state management and grace. You could even connect them to something you are thankful for. After all, being thankful for someone who helps you evolve is a plus. Morgan: connected concept. b. Align an experience with this person with Perceptual Position Alignment. A powerful exercise that aligns your submodalities with a pattern that gives you the most flexibility. No politics – especially if you want to maintain subjective coherency. Or at least maintain amicability Ask questions: If you are familiar with the Meta Model, you know that asking questions is a great form of rapport. Ask open-ended questions that show interest in someone’s life. If you know there are adversarial family members, keep a low profile. Match and pace, match and pace. Support the show…

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EP #75 From Conflict to Creativity: Using Conflict as a Resource 49:12

2 years ago49:12