Are You Together?

The Devil You Don’t Know

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Shores of Nevis

From the white sands of Nevis, we find ourselves reflecting on a deceptively simple question: What does it mean to truly be together?

For us, an interracial couple navigating the rhythms of a blended family, this question surfaces in unexpected places – in the confused looks of airline staff separating us during boarding, in the puzzled expressions of theme park employees unsure how to categorize our family. These moments, often met with laughter now, point to a deeper societal confusion about what families should look like.

But more importantly, they reveal how togetherness is far more than physical presence. Many couples share homes, meals, even beds, yet drift apart emotionally. The relationship becomes a quiet coexistence – two people living parallel lives, disconnected at the heart.

Togetherness is Intentional

True togetherness isn’t passive. It’s active, deliberate, and nurtured daily. In our therapeutic practice and personal lives, we’ve seen the power of simple rituals:

• Check-ins that move beyond "How was your day?" to "How is your heart today?"
• Phone-free zones to reclaim the lost art of eye contact and deep conversation.
• Friendship maintenance, remembering the laughter and curiosity that sparked your connection in the first place.

Love isn’t always 50/50. Some days it’s 80/20. And the couples that last are the ones who show up even when they can only give a fraction of themselves.

Blended Families: The Art of Co-Creation

In blended families, togetherness is an evolving process. Different parenting styles, cultural backgrounds, and emotional histories converge. We’ve learned that creating new family traditions, rather than clinging to competing legacies, is key. Respecting each person’s past while building a shared present fosters unity and minimizes power struggles.

Togetherness means choosing each other – daily, imperfectly, and with grace.

So, the next time someone asks, “Are you together?” pause before you answer. Reflect on whether your relationship is about shared space… or shared souls.

As a wise couple once told us after 50 years of marriage: “It was 50 wonderful years… and 49 years of hard work.”

Are you doing the work to stay truly together?

Please email us at [email protected]

Chapters

1. "Are You Together?" Unpacking the Question (00:00:00)

2. Exploring Beautiful Nevis Island (00:02:54)

3. Marathon Restaurant Reviews & Island Life (00:09:50)

4. Together But Disconnected: Relationship Challenges (00:17:18)

5. Friendship: The Foundation of Lasting Relationships (00:26:00)

6. Communication: Weekly Check-ins and Deeper Connection (00:35:20)

7. Blending Family Dynamics and Traditions (00:43:00)

8. Soul Connection: What Being Together Really Means (00:48:20)