How To Become A Grown-up Christian – Part 3

The King's Church International Audio Podcast

As a church, as individuals, and as families we need to learn how to grow up in our faith, moving from spiritual infancy to spiritual maturity. As we have already seen in this series, the New Testament gives very practical teaching to help us grow up in Christ (Ephesians 4:12-14; 1 Corinthians 13:11). We see some more areas where we need to develop ourselves into mature leaders who can in turn develop other mature leaders.

1. We need to grow up in our behaviour (Philippians 4:5; Hebrews 12:14; Numbers 12:3; Matthew 18:15-17, 5:23-24)

2. We need to grow up in the way we speak (Psalm 19:14; 141:3; Ephesians 4:15; 1 Peter 3:15)

3. We need to grow in our humility (3 John 9; Matthew 23:5-7; 2 Samuel 15:1-6; Philippians 4:11-12; Matthrew 20:28)

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1. We need to grow up in our behaviour. Whilst it is normal for children to have tantrums, we do not expect them from adults. Yet, although they may look different to childhood tantrums, we can have tantrums as adults in different forms.

Immaturity - throws tantrums if can't have own way: Every child can throw tantrums including shouting, throwing, stamping, sulking, withdrawing etc. In church life tantrums may also take the same forms and also include quitting a position of responsibility in protest at a perceived wrong or slight, refusing to go to meeting, or withdrawing tithes and offerings. We see this behaviour in the Bible: Cain was “very angry” and sulked rather than address his emotions, ultimately murdering his brother Abel. King Saul regularly threw spears at David out of jealousy. The Israelites in the wilderness demanded food and water, blaming Moses for all their problems and hardship. The prophet Jonah became angry and resentful, wishing to die because God showed mercy on Nineveh. So how do we receive correction from God and even from our spiritual leaders? Do we have a teachable heart that wants to learn and grow, or is there an independent or argumentative attitude? Has this changed over the years or are we still the same? Have we matured and learnt over time? You can easily recognise if you or others have conquered tantrums. A tantrum thrower gives off a disgruntled air and makes sure that you understand that they are like a simmering pot ready to boil over thinking you may give into their demands. When a parent holds the line, it is because they want to teach, correct and train the child. It can be the same when God allows us to go through a particular circumstance. Do we have spiritual maturity to see and learn from it, secure in our faith that God turns everything to good for those who love Him?

Maturity - retains a gentle and quiet spirit: The contrast is seen when you have a gentle and submissive spirit, displaying the character of Jesus and showing mature trust in God (Philippians 4:5; Hebrews 12:14). Moses was known for his strong leadership, but was also described as being very meek (Numbers 12:3). Maturity means you can entrust your case to God and rest secure in His plans. If necessary, you will get others to help sort an issue out (Matthew 18:15-17). But a mature person will not be robbed of tranquillity just because everything is not going their way, rather they will seek the Lord for guidance and His wisdom to deal with conflict or difficult situations to ensure resolution and reconciliation is achieved (Matthew 5:23-24). Spiritual maturity means that we trust our leaders because we know their heart. We may not always understand every decision, but we know that they are for us not against us, and that our development is their priority.

2. We need to grow up in the way we speak. Whilst we know and expect limited vocabulary from children, we need to mature in how we use our words and speech.

Immaturity - limited vocabulary: For babies, it’s saying ‘mama, dada’. In church life, it takes the form of the same prayers, the same basic words in evangelism, the same arguments about why you can’t do something or move on. It can be self-centred rather than focussing on God’s will for your life. The same prophecies, the same preaching year after year.

Maturity - developed speech: Mature Christians can be specific about what you are thanking the Lord for. We all have so much to be grateful for and the Lord loves to see us be thankful in all circumstances. The Psalms are a great example of this, and Paul’s letters often overflow with expressions of gratitude to God for the churches and individuals serving the Lord. And our prophecy will develop into something more specific and well rounded. It is a great privilege to speak into people's lives, and we need to grow in faith and prayer to ensure we are speaking God’s word and not words based on our own knowledge or opinion. When you speak in tongues, it is important to move beyond the repetitive or familiar patterns. Let there be variety and depth in your speaking, preaching, praying, and communicating. As you grow, move beyond the basic utterances and early beginnings, progressing into deeper and more mature expressions led by the Holy Spirit. Maturity of speech means that we think before we speak. We don’t rush in but open our mouths with wisdom; this is pleasing to the Lord (Psalm 19:14; 141:3). How and what we speak is so important not only to our loved ones but to everyone (Ephesians 4:15). Mature speech means that we can more clearly communicate why you are a Christian, developing how best to share our testimony (1 Peter 3:15).

3. We need to grow in our humility. That means that we move on from being so self-centred and focussed on our own ego.

Immaturity - attention seeking: An immature person always needs to be the centre of attention, where significance and security comes from your position. An immature person is only happy when all eyes are on them or will think up some stunt or tantrum to get attention focused on them (3 John 9; Matthew 23:5-7; 2 Samuel 15:1-6). Attention seeking can also manifest in being disruptive, bursting into tears, storming out, or always arriving late. Attention seekers place too much importance on being popular, fitting in with others, and having their ego stroked.

Maturity - able to be content in obscurity: We may not always understand the situation or circumstance we find ourselves in but we can always trust the Lord (Philippians 4:11-12). To trust is a decision and one that demonstrates our maturity in faith where you can work away from the limelight and your security does not depend on what profile you have. You can take your place in the body, however insignificant that place may seem. You do not feel the need to dominate nor to have the final word; your security is in God and His plan and protection. You truly follow the Lord’s example. He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, yet he came to serve not to be served (Matthrew 20:28). You do not expect special privilege because of who you or your family are, but you have a humble attitude. Jesus was the awaited Messiah, yet he rode on a donkey, ate with sinners, and loved to be with ordinary people. Jesus didn’t hang out with just the wealthy, rather He loved each person the same and showed no favouritism. And we must always give God the Glory. Even when we have played our part, it is only because the Lord has given gifts and talents that we can do anything. Whatever role you have as part of the body of Christ, work hard at it and follow Jesus’ example. We all need to come to this new level of maturity in our faith to move forward as individuals, as families and as a church. Not to look at the past, not to carry the arguments, disappointments or the same old ways of doing and dealing with things. To do God’s will and walk in His ways, we need this renewing of our minds, to surrender our will and become obedient to Him in everything. To move from immaturity to maturity is not only a learning and a development but a decision.