How To Become A Grown-Up Christian - Part 4

The King's Church International Audio Podcast

In this series, the Lord is preparing each one of us to mature so that we will be more like Christ and be mature enough to model the right character to new Christians. People need looking after, they need feeding, they need support. And they cannot gain that from us if we cannot even do these things ourselves.

You can be a Christian for decades and still be immature, still battling with unrepentance, insecurity, comparison, or pride. But God’s desire is for you to grow, to become steady, humble, wise, and fruitful. If we stay spiritually immature, we miss out. But even more than that, the world around us misses out too. So how do we actually grow up in our faith? How do we leave behind childish ways and become the mature Christians God is calling us to be?

1. A grown-up Christian moves from competing with one another to working together (Genesis 4:5; Luke 22:24; Mark 9:33–34; Romans 12:10,12:15; James 1:2-4)

2. A grown-up Christian moves from living as if they know it all to receiving wisdom and instruction (Matthew 11:29; 1 Corinthians 12:21; 2 Timothy 3:16; Psalm 1:1-3; Proverbs 12:15)

3. A grown up Christian goes from building cliques to opening their hearts to the whole body of Christ (1 Corinthians 3:4; 1 Thessalonians 4:9–10; Ephesians 4:14-15)

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1. A grown-up Christian moves from competing with one another to working together.

Immaturity - constantly compares themselves to others and competes: You see this behaviour clearly in young children, especially siblings arguing and fighting. When one succeeds, the other might feel pressure to catch up or sulk because they feel they don’t measure up. These dynamics are often quiet, but they can run deep. We read about this spirit of competitiveness when Cain compared his offering to Abel’s (Genesis 4:5). Rather than learning from his brother, he let jealousy consume him. Even Jesus’ disciples weren’t immune (Luke 22:24; Mark 9:33–34). Just like siblings, they were still caught up in status. This same immature spirit can creep into the church, e.g. “My church / denomination / life group / family is better / bigger / more committed…” An immature Christian is threatened by the success of others, feeling insecure when others are celebrated. They sulk when others receive what they’ve been praying for. They care too much about how they’re perceived in comparison to others. If you’re single and someone else enters a relationship, if someone else gets promoted while you’re still applying, or waiting for fruit in your ministry while others seem to be thriving, do you celebrate them, silently compare, or does envy creep in? The enemy wants to sow bitterness, insecurity, and division, and to crush your faith by preying on the seed of competitiveness.

Maturity - moves beyond comparison and competition: They value the work of others, don’t get insecure when someone else succeeds, and are not ruled by emotion, but instead learn from others, and rejoice with them. They don’t see their brothers and sisters as rivals, they see them as partners (Romans 12:10). Stop trying to outdo each other, and start trying to outlove one another. This is maturity: Choosing faith and joy over jealousy and despair (Romans 12:15; James 1:2-4). A mature Christian is secure in their calling. They are not driven by comparison or public approval, they are driven by God’s purpose.

2. A grown-up Christian moves from living as if they know it all to receiving wisdom and instruction.

Immaturity - acts like they know it all, they’ve done it all, they’ve got it all: They know the Bible better than anyone else, they understand praise and worship more than anyone else, they’ve seen more miracles, and they think they have more insight into what’s going on than anyone else. They love to talk, but don’t love to listen. Before you even finish speaking, they’ve cut you off! When Jesus invites us to learn from Him, He is calling us to a lifetime of humility and growth (Matthew 11:29). True maturity means remaining a learner for life. We can never take the ‘L plates’ off as Christians. Yet many live contrary to this. They prefer to rely on their own knowledge, taking matters into their own hands and convincing themselves they’ve got it all figured out. Many Christians are building their lives ignoring instruction, ignoring the word of God, ignoring spiritual wisdom, confident they know better. Immature Christians have read the Bible, heard the sermons, attended the conferences, and now they believe no one can teach them anything new. They become uncorrectable, unteachable, the “spiritual expert” in every room they walk into. This attitude is deadly to growth. Many Christians live as if they are the only part of the body that matters (1 Corinthians 12:21).

Maturity – gets wisdom and instruction to learn how to build the best life:

A mature Christian hungers to spend time studying the Bible, applying its truths to their life (2 Timothy 3:16). You may read the Word, but do you know the Word? You may have read or heard it before, but is it inscribed on your heart? We must desire to unlock more knowledge from His Word, which is alive and active (Psalm 1:1-3). A mature Christian is eager to learn. They stay teachable. They receive correction from the Word and from spiritual authorities. They do not choke on the words, “I was wrong” or “Please show/help me.” They don’t rely on old stories or past experiences to validate their present faith. They walk in humility and stay open to growth (Proverbs 12:15). We need to humble ourselves to be trained and to ask for advice. Remain teachable, living as a lifelong learner of Christ.

3. A grown up Christian goes from building cliques to opening their hearts to the whole body of Christ.

Immaturity - builds cliques: This is the type of thing you see in playgrounds and in schools, but it is even more damaging when it shows up in the church. It makes the church smaller and colder. It creates walls instead of bridges. Paul confronted the Corinthians for this and rebuked them strongly, saying they were acting like infants in the faith (1 Corinthians 3:4). We must not attach ourselves to one personality or one group and quietly shut out others. Immature Christians become so focused on their own ideologies and traditions and rules that it divides them from others. They say, “These are my people,” and close the door behind them. But in doing so, they divide the body that God has made one. An immature Christian cares more about who they are socially compatible with, who they can invite round, and who they can do different social events with, rather than reaching out to all types of people, supporting and loving them just as Christ loved us.

Maturity - opens their hearts to the whole body of Christ: A grown-up Christian not only loves those who are easy to love, they value unity across differences and celebrate what God is doing in other groups, streams, and networks. Juan Carlos Ortiz, in his book Disciple, says, “God has only two groups, those who love one another and those who don’t.” This is the heart of maturity: loving widely, well, and beyond preference or comfort (1 Thessalonians 4:9–10). We need to open our hearts to those we’ve kept at a distance. We must tear down the walls of cliques, favouritism, and exclusivity. We are called to love the whole church just as Christ loved us. We must not be the blockage when there are so many people who need to be part of the family.

Now is the time to put away childish things. Now is the time to grow up in love, in humility, in unity (Ephesians 4:14-15). No more competing. No more pretending. No more excluding. Stop trying to win every argument. Stop trying to prove yourself. You don’t need to compare yourself to others, God has His own plan for your life. He wants you to live in harmony with your brothers and sisters. Learn to work together. Be humble and teachable: If we are to be fully mature in Christ, we must be open to training and correction, eager to learn from the word of God and our pastors, with humility, taking off the pride that resists God. Pray for a teachable spirit. That you will be a new vessel. That you will walk with the Lord, not dependent on logic or past experiences, but following his voice as he leads you. And be inclusive, breaking down exclusive groups that exclude others from joining in. Be open-hearted, living in brotherhood and partnership with those who are also in Christ. How much more can God do through us when we are more warm-hearted to others