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When Depression Shares Your Bed: A Therapist's Journey with Trish Sanders, LCSW
Manage episode 497117482 series 3599896
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What happens when depression isn't just in your head, but in your relationship? Certified Imago Advanced Relationship Therapist Trish Sanders takes us on a deeply personal journey through the landscape of depression, connection, and healing in this captivating conversation.
Drawing from her 20+ years of clinical experience and her own marriage, Trish reveals how depression creates profound disconnection—even when lying next to someone you love. "When depression is in your bed, it affects everything," she explains. "It affects how you sleep, it affects how you dream, and it certainly affects every part of your relationship." Having experienced depression herself and supported her husband through his struggles, Trish speaks with rare authenticity about both sides of this challenging dynamic.
The conversation illuminates how couples can navigate mental health challenges through connection rather than conflict. Trish introduces us to Polyvagal Theory and how understanding our nervous system states transforms relationships. She describes these states in beautifully accessible terms—the "sunny place" (regulated), the "stormy place" (fight/flight), and the "cloudy place" (shutdown)—language so clear even her six-year-old daughter uses it. These concepts help explain why we perceive the same situations so differently when dysregulated, wearing what Trish calls "depression goggles."
Most powerfully, Trish shares how connection became the antidote to depression in her marriage. After separating when their son was young, she and her husband reunited through Imago therapy, learning to validate each other's experiences without necessarily agreeing. This path led to profound healing: "Depression is disconnection," she explains. "Connection is the antidote." Years later, neither experiences the severe depressive episodes that once threatened their relationship.
Whether you're struggling with depression, supporting someone who is, or simply wanting to deepen connection in your relationship, this episode offers practical wisdom, validation, and genuine hope. Listen now to discover how understanding our nervous systems and practicing validation can transform even the most challenging relationship dynamics.
Find Trish's podcast "When Depression is in your Bed" on major platforms including Apple, Spotify, YouTube, and at wholefamilynj.com.
Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.
Contact Colleen at [email protected] for questions or to be a guest on the show!
Chapters
1. Meet Trish Sanders: Relationship Therapist (00:00:00)
2. Podcast Origins: When Depression is in Your Bed (00:16:39)
3. Understanding Nervous System Dysregulation (00:31:35)
4. Polyvagal Theory: Sunny, Stormy and Cloudy Places (00:44:24)
5. Depression is Disconnection: Finding Hope Again (00:44:53)
6. The Power of Validation in Relationships (00:51:36)
20 episodes
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