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When You’re the One Avoiding the Conversation
Manage episode 482336228 series 3660722
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Avoiding the conversation doesn’t make the tension go away—it just buries it deeper. This episode dives into the hidden costs of staying silent when something needs to be said. We unpack how avoidance shows up, why it feels safer, and how to return to hard conversations with courage and clarity—before distance turns into disconnection.
Key Takeaways
- Avoidance can manifest as politeness or excessive kindness.
- Conflict avoidance often stems from fear of disconnection.
- Silence can lead to resentment and emotional distance.
- Recognizing avoidance is the first step to addressing it.
- Unmet needs often drive avoidance in conversations.
- Naming what we avoid helps reclaim our ability to choose.
- You don't need a perfect script to reenter a conversation.
- Articulating emotions can reduce their intensity significantly.
- The conversations we avoid can heal relationships.
- It's never too late to return to difficult discussions.
Sources Referenced:
- Harriet Lerner (2001). The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate.
- Daniel Siegel (2012). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are.
- Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler (2002). Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High.
- Marshall Rosenberg (2003). Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life.
- Susan David (2016). Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life.
Thanks for listening in! This work is easier when we do it together.
🎙 Episode Brought to You By:
Dr. Nashay Lowe: Founder of Lowe Insights Consulting
🌐 www.loweinsights.com | 📧 [email protected] | 🔗 Connect on here!
If you’d like me to bring this conversation to your stage, let’s connect at www.loweinsights.com/speaking-engagements-thought-leadership
Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/aavirall/soft-waves-forming
License code: YHLX3CWSWGWNCJZT
Chapters
1. Introduction to Avoidance in Conversations (00:00:00)
2. The Cost of Avoidance (00:03:27)
3. Recognizing Avoidance Behaviors (00:05:50)
4. Strategies for Returning to Conversations (00:07:18)
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