#102: Stepmom Struggles: Missing the Firsts and Feeling Less Than
Manage episode 490552620 series 3494696
In this deeply relatable solo episode, Alicia opens up about a struggle so many stepmoms face but rarely talk about—what it feels like to miss out on the “firsts.” First marriage, first baby, first home, first big life moments with your partner... when you weren’t part of those, it can trigger deep feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and even grief.
Alicia shares a powerful personal story from early in her marriage—when she felt so second-best and confused that she literally googled “how to get divorced.” She also responds to a heartfelt message from a listener who’s in the thick of those feelings, despite having a kind and supportive partner.
This episode offers a step-by-step practical approach for navigating the emotional weight of not being the first, including:
- How to build confidence in your role as a stepmom—even when you feel like you’re living in someone else’s shadow
- Why it’s important to acknowledge the ache of not having your own child (yet or at all), and how that grief is valid and real
- The underrated role of time in healing and shifting perspective, with a beautiful quote from The Stepmom Side community that reframes what “firsts” really mean
If you’ve ever felt like your partner’s “second chance,” this episode will remind you that you’re actually his current choice—and that you’re creating a story together that is no less meaningful.
What You’ll Walk Away With:
- Permission to feel your feelings without guilt or shame
- Reassurance that you're not crazy, broken, or alone
- Tools for reframing missed firsts and celebrating the new “firsts” you're building now
- Language to ask your partner for reassurance in moments of doubt
Stepmom, you are not second best.
You’re just second chronologically—and there’s a big difference.
🎧 Tune in now and let Alicia walk with you through this common but rarely named experience.
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102 episodes