Dirty Socks and Good Deeds: Growing Kids Who Step Up

Things You Learn in Therapy

What separates those who merely notice problems from those who actually solve them? In this enlightening conversation, Leslie Bolser and Dr. Beth Trammell tackle the powerful concept of initiative—defined as "seeing what needs to be done and doing it"—and why this two-part skill proves challenging for people of all ages.
The discussion moves through developmental stages, offering practical advice for nurturing initiative from preschool through adolescence. For the youngest children, initiative begins with explicit instruction and modeling, teaching them to notice when someone's crying or playing alone and giving them the words to respond. Elementary-aged children benefit from increased accountability and conversations that highlight the hundreds of small initiatives we take daily that often go unnoticed.
While adolescents often have brilliant solutions to problems, they may wait for permission or struggle with anxiety about taking action. The hosts share strategies for empowering teens to overcome "analysis paralysis" and act on their insights, while acknowledging that even as adults, they're still working on modeling initiative consistently in their own families.
This episode emphasizes initiative beyond household chores. While picking up after yourself matters, we explore the deeper relational aspects of initiative—noticing someone in need, including others who feel left out, and addressing community concerns.

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Chapters

1. Welcome and Introduction to Initiative (00:00:00)

2. Teaching Kids to Notice and Act (00:04:10)

3. Initiative with Preschoolers (00:06:58)

4. Elementary and Middle School Approaches (00:07:33)

5. Empowering Teenagers to Take Initiative (00:09:42)

6. Modeling Initiative and Summer Closing (00:12:43)