259: Making and Maintaining Friendships, with Dr. Marisa G. Franco

What Do You Mean By That?

We’ve had a lot of focus on this show leading into Election 2024 about the state of the country and the deep divides that we’re seeing in society. We’re grateful to and for everyone who worked to ensure that democracy worked in early November. AND, given the election results, we know that these divides still exist and have the ability to grow even deeper.

What can we do about that? One step that we can take right now is to examine how we talk to each other, to better connect. So today, we focus on the good stuff - building community, nurturing friendships, and coming together with a lot of meaning and joy.

And given who we are, of course, we don’t just do it alone - we do it in partnership with a leading psychologist who specializes in developing friendships, showcased in her NYT bestselling book Platonic, and who - alongside us in our multi-racial identities, also has personal experience driving her desire to help more of us understand how to belong, and find those connections in the world.

Listen for so many scientific frameworks about:

• The importance of friendships - because so many of us make them less of a priority!

• Three types of loneliness: intimate, relational, and collective

• How adults make friends

• Nurturing our existing friendships

• What we need to consider when building relationships with those different than us

Action items:

• Reflect on what is truly meaningful and important in your life, and be intentional about making time for those things.

• Consider evaluating your existing friendships and community based on factors like authenticity, energy exchange, and shared values.

• Be brave and put in the effort to make new friends, even if it feels uncomfortable at first - i.e. get over our overt and covert avoidance!

• Explore internal work to develop a stronger sense of self, which can help in tolerating and nurturing healthy relationships.

About our guest:

An enlightening psychologist, TED speaker, and New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Marisa G Franco is known for digesting and communicating science in ways that resonate deeply enough with people to change their lives. She works as a professor at The University of Maryland and authored the New York Times bestseller Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends. She writes about friendship for Psychology Today and has been a featured connection expert for major publications like The New York Times, The Telegraph, and Vice. She speaks on belonging at corporations, government agencies, non-profits, and universities.

For tips on friendship, you can follow her on Instagram (DrMarisaGFranco), or go to her website,www.DrMarisaGFranco.com, where you can take a quiz to assess your strengths and weaknesses as a friend & reach out for speaking engagements.