Estrangement Grief - Stage 1 - Disbelief

When Our Adult Children Walk Away

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Unlike other models and theories, I refer to the first stage of grief in estrangement as Disbelief.

In the stage of Disbelief, our primary experiences include shock, panic, overwhelming doubt, denial, minimizing or skepticism and rationalizing.
During this stage, we tend to send many texts, email messages, and voice messages - imploring our adult children to listen to our explanations or answer our questions. So often, the adult child remains silent or pulls further away.
Though not all parents enter into the estrangement grief cycle in this stage, those who are in the stage of Disbelief often work tirelessly to 'fix things' and explain our side of the story. When really, this is a time to listen openly and without judgment. Our desperation too quickly leads us to do the opposite.

In the early stages of estrangement, many of us swirl through disbelief, anger and despair (the first three stages of my model) over and over, round and round, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Please take a listen to this episode to understand better the reasons behind this cycle and how to navigate and manage our grief.
Check out episode episodes 1 - 7 of this podcast series. No matter where your relationship struggles sit on the continuum of estrangement you are likely experiencing some level of loss and therefore, are also experiencing grief.

The continuum of estrangement referenced in this episode can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

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For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair!

The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.