The Nuance of “Let Them” The Importance and Pitfalls of Self-Help- Episode #798

Zen Parenting Radio

#Lifestyle #Todd and Cathy Adams #Cathy Adams #Parenting #Self-Improvement #Family #Society #Podcasting Education #Philosophy #New Books

57:50

Alex (@alex_kamenca) and Carley (@carleymitus) are both members of our Action Academy Community that purchased TWO small businesses last thursday! Want To Quit Your Job In The Next 6-18 Months Through Buying Commercial Real Estate & Small Businesses? 👔🏝️ Schedule A Free 15 Minute Coaching Call With Our Team Here To Get "Unstuck" Check Out Our Bestselling Book : From Passive To Passionate : How To Quit Your Job - Grow Your Wealth - And Turn Your Passions Into Profits Want A Free $100k+ Side Hustle Guide ? Follow Me As I Travel & Build: IG @brianluebben ActionAcademy.com…

about a year ago 56:35

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Todd and Cathy discuss Mel Robbins book “Let Them”, the importance of nuance in self-help concepts. They also touched on the importance of trust and communication in relationships, and the concept of "letting go" in personal relationships. Lastly, they shared their thoughts on various TV shows and movies, and emphasized the importance of self-awareness and emotional expression in relationships.

1127 episodes

The Nuance of “Let Them” The Importance and Pitfalls of Self-Help- Episode #798

Zen Parenting Radio

449 subscribers

published about a year ago

MP3•Episode home

1127 episodes

#Lifestyle #Todd and Cathy Adams #Cathy Adams #Parenting #Self-Improvement #Family #Society #Podcasting Education #Philosophy #New Books

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Talking About Friendships # 814 50:50

3 days ago50:50

50:50

Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! They also discuss the normal shifts in kids’ friendships, highlighting the importance of loyalty, boundaries, and the reality that friendships evolve. As parents, we can feel more overwhelmed than our kids when these changes happen, but it’s important to normalize the ups and downs of friendships and offer support without letting our own fear or discomfort take over. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com . This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Renaming Podcast to Zen Pop Parenting In the meeting, Todd and Cathy discussed the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen Pop Parenting. The new format will focus on pop culture and its influence on parenting, with a more humorous and light-hearted approach. The podcast will continue to be available on the same platform, and existing subscribers will not need to take any action. The first episode under the new format is scheduled for June 3rd. Friendships and Self-Identification in Children Todd and Kathy discussed the normalcy of changing friendships among children. They highlighted that friendships are not meant to last forever and that it’s a natural part of growing up for children to explore different social circles. They also touched on the importance of self-identification and the need for children to experience different social situations to understand what they truly want. The conversation also emphasized the need for parents to be aware of their own biases and not assume that their children are always being excluded or left out. Fictional Friendships: Longevity and Speculation Todd discussed the longevity of fictional friendships in movies, questioning whether they would still be friends in a generation. He used examples from movies like Shawshank, Thelma and Louise, Forrest and Bubba, Harry Ron and Hermione, Buzz and Woody, Wayne and Garth, Bonnie and Clyde, and others. Todd also humorously speculated on the potential outcomes of these friendships if the characters had made different choices or lived in different times. Meaningful Conversations With Children Todd discussed the importance of having meaningful conversations with children, emphasizing the need to start with basic topics and gradually move to more intimate subjects. He used the example of discussing baseball to illustrate how non-intense topics can lead to deeper conversations. Todd also highlighted the significance of sharing personal experiences and being curious about others’ lives to foster connections and understanding. Fire Alarm Incident and Leadership Todd discussed an incident at his club where a fire alarm went off, and while the women were outside following the rules, the men continued weightlifting. Todd and his partner had a conversation about entitlement, gender, and leadership, connecting the dots between the incident and the political landscape. They also discussed the importance of adhering to protocols and considering the safety of others. Todd’s Reflections on Friendship and Loyalty Todd discussed the importance of loyalty and boundaries in friendships, using Aristotle’s quote “a friend to all is a friend to none” as an example. He shared his personal experience of being a people pleaser and losing his sense of self in the process. Todd also mentioned a song by Taylor Swift, “Cardigan,” which he believes is about loyalty and the challenges of maintaining friendships. He ended the discussion by reminiscing about his high school days and the mixtape his pledge mom made for him, which included the song “Hello, Goodbye” by Phil Collins. Friendships: Challenges and Prioritization In the meeting, Todd discussed the challenges of maintaining friendships, particularly those that require effort and choice. He shared his personal experiences with friendships that have shifted or ended, and emphasized the importance of choosing which friendships to prioritize. Todd also highlighted the difficulty of discussing these issues openly, and the need to recognize that friendships can change over time. The conversation ended with a discussion on the complexities of school dynamics and the potential consequences of ending friendships in a school setting. Todd Discusses Breakup Songs and Events Todd discussed the relevance of breakup songs in relationships, rating songs like “Back to December” and “Silver Springs” for their commentary. He also introduced a game called “The Music Game” where participants choose songs representing a topic. Todd mentioned upcoming events on their parenting community, including a talk with John Duffy about restoring girls and rescuing sons, and a discussion on college. He encouraged listeners to subscribe to their podcast and join their parenting community.…

Zen Parenting Radio

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What Do You Think About When You Wake Up? Episode # 813 51:50

10 days ago51:50

51:50

We dig into the gender differences in why we show up the way we do, how we’re conditioned, why women so often carry the weight of everyone’s well-being, and why emotional presence is still seen as optional for a lot of men. We talk about why these conversations are essential in our own homes, and what sometimes keeps us from having them. We also explore how all of this shows up not just in families and relationships, but in leadership, corporate culture, and the bigger cultural conversation around change and staying connected. Some Ways to Support Us Wildcard – Men, Marriage, and Menopause: Navigating the Change Together Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp 20:51 What Do You Think About When You Wake Up? 26:58 Difference b/w men and women 43:36 Poop talk * Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com . This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Parenting Strategies and Acts of Service Todd and Kathy discussed their parenting experiences and strategies. Todd shared a story about his daughter asking him to pick up Chipotle for her, which he gladly did as an act of service. Kathy pointed out that this aligns with Todd’s love language of acts of service. They also discussed the importance of connecting with their children, even if it means doing favors for them. Additionally, they touched on the topic of not allowing their children to use DoorDash, as it costs money and they prefer to do things for them. Reframing Parenting and Building Relationships Todd discussed the importance of reframing the narrative around children’s involvement in their lives. He shared a personal experience where he initially hesitated to help his daughter with a task, but ultimately decided to support her. The conversation then shifted to the need for parents to strike a balance between supporting their children and teaching them independence. The group also discussed the challenges of parenting teenagers and the need to adapt to their changing needs. Todd introduced a new subscription called “Pebbling” on his Substack platform, which aims to provide small gestures of connection and affection to build relationships. Cultural Conditioning and Gender Roles Todd discussed the cultural conditioning and expectations that influence their daily routines and interactions. He highlighted how these expectations are deeply ingrained in their upbringing and gender roles, affecting their behavior and decision-making. Todd emphasized the importance of understanding these factors to improve communication and balance in their relationships. He also touched on the potential for defensiveness in men when confronted with perceived inadequacies, suggesting that this is a result of cultural conditioning rather than personal failure. Questioning Patriarchy and Systemic Change Todd discussed the cultural belief that white men should not be questioned, using the Brett Kavanaugh hearings as an example. He emphasized the need to question the system rather than individual men, and how this can lead to a better understanding and conversation. Todd also highlighted the difference between freedom and permission, using the example of a banker who felt liberated after the recent president’s election. He stressed that patriarchy is a system, not a personal issue, and that men should not take it personally when it is discussed. Todd also pointed out the importance of recognizing the contributions of others, regardless of gender, in achieving success. Todd’s Gratitude and Financial Discussions Todd and his partner discussed the importance of gratitude and understanding in their relationship. They talked about how they used to focus on gratitude to strengthen their bond and how this foundation helped them navigate conversations about money and other issues. Todd also shared his experiences with a coach who suggested having regular meetings to discuss their finances, which helped alleviate his money-related worries. They also discussed the need to shift from a mindset of individual strength to a collective approach, emphasizing the importance of considering each other’s needs and working together. Shared Responsibilities and Unpaid Emotional Labor Todd discussed the importance of shared responsibilities and understanding each other’s perspectives. He highlighted the need for men to be more aware of the unpaid emotional labor women do, such as caring for children and elderly people. Todd also mentioned his upcoming event on Zoom about menopause and the benefits of his team, Zen. He encouraged everyone to give his book a 5-star review if they found it helpful.…

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Leave Things Better Than We Found Them- Episode # 812 26:53

17 days ago26:53

26:53

We talk about our oddly soothing obsession with rug-cleaning and lawn care TikToks—and what they reveal about care, restoration, and using your energy to make things better. We also get into the difference between seeking positive vs. negative attention, and why people sometimes act out when what they really want is to be seen and to belong. From ASMR satisfaction to deeper reflections on generosity vs. harm, we discuss showing up with intention and leaving things better than we found them. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com . This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Efficiency and Leadership Metaphors Todd discussed the satisfaction of watching a rug cleaner and lawn care professional efficiently and effectively complete their tasks. He used these examples as metaphors to emphasize the importance of leaving things better than they were found, and to critique leaders who cause chaos. Todd suggested that such behavior may stem from an inability to get needs met or be seen, drawing parallels to children seeking attention. Leadership, Fear, and Positive Impact Todd discussed the importance of leadership and the impact of fear and anger on individuals. He used the movie Gladiator as an example, comparing the characters of Marcus Aurelius and his son, played by Joaquin Phoenix. Todd emphasized the need for real-life experiences and the consequences of using power and fear to control others. He also touched on the theme of doing good in the world and the positive effects it can have on both the individual and others. Understanding Human Behavior Through Pop Culture Todd discussed the importance of connection and respect, using the Grinch and Miranda Priestly as examples. He explained that the Grinch’s desire to steal Christmas stemmed from his unmet need for love and support, while Miranda Priestly’s cold demeanor was a result of her position. Todd emphasized the use of pop culture references to illustrate human behavior and emotions, and encouraged the use of these examples to better understand others. Female Leadership and Personal Growth The discussion covers various topics, including the portrayal of female leadership in media, personal growth through adversity, and the importance of intention in one’s actions. Todd and his co-host reflect on the character of Miranda Priestly from “The Devil Wears Prada” and Monica Lewinsky’s resilience in the face of public scrutiny. They emphasize the value of learning from mistakes and developing post-traumatic growth. The conversation concludes with mentions of Kathy’s upcoming substack subscription offering and a brief discussion about ASMR videos.…

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Choose Your Three Words- Episode # 811 44:52

24 days ago44:52

44:52

Cathy and Todd talk about the collective anxiety so many of us are carrying right now, whether it’s our daily responsibilities or the heaviness of what we’re witnessing on a national or global scale. They discuss Cathy’s three personal guideposts—integrity, humility, and compassion—how these words help her navigate parenting, conflict, relationships, and the uncertainty of this moment, along with the pop culture icons that represent each one. They also take time to talk about the male loneliness epidemic: why it matters, how it’s showing up in culture, and what it means for connection, emotional health, and community. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com . This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Addressing Men’s Loneliness and Adaptation Cathy and Todd discuss the loneliness epidemic among men, arguing that the phrase “men are lonely” should be reframed as “men are choosing to be lonely” to emphasize personal responsibility. He and his co-host explore ways men can adapt to changing cultural norms, including educational adjustments, vocational training, and redefining masculinity. They also promote their upcoming events, including a discussion on menopause for couples, emphasizing the importance of understanding and supporting partners through life changes. Finding Personal Stability in Challenging Times Cathy and Todd discussed the importance of personal words or symbols that can provide stability during challenging times. He shared his three words that he has used for years and believes they hold up under any circumstance. Cathy and Todd also encouraged others to find their own words that resonate with them, using the example of a Spanish word “trabahaba” as a personal preference. The discussion aimed to help individuals develop tools or mechanisms to maintain themselves during non-stable times. Cathy and Todd’s Car Wash Metaphor Cathy and Todd discussed his experience with the car wash, emphasizing the feeling of protection and relaxation it provides. He used the car wash as a metaphor to explain his three words: protect, chaos, and car. Cathy and Todd expressed his desire to stay focused and move forward despite the overwhelming negativity and chaos in the world. He encouraged others to find their own metaphorical “car” to help them navigate through life’s challenges. Integrity and Wholeness in Pop Culture Cathy and Todd discussed the importance of integrity, using examples from pop culture such as Atticus Finch and Forrest Gump. He emphasized the need to be true to oneself and to act with purpose and behavior. Cathy and Todd also mentioned the concept of wholeness, acknowledging all aspects of oneself and taking care of oneself. He used the character of Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation as an example of someone who embodies integrity despite their flaws. Cathy and Todd’s second word was humility, which he has previously discussed on the show. Humility and Personal Opinions in Music Cathy and Todd discussed the importance of humility, emphasizing that it allows individuals to be curious, listen to others, and learn new things. He also highlighted the need for humility in understanding the role one plays in the world and the importance of living in uncertainty. Cathy and Todd further discussed the influence of personal opinions on music and food, emphasizing that everyone has their own preferences. He concluded by expressing his love for pop music and its ability to evoke positive emotions and memories. Cathy and Todd’s Pop Culture and Life Guide Cathy and Todd discussed his perspective on pop culture, specifically referencing a YouTube clip where Tarantino talked about his favorite movies. He also shared his thoughts on the TV show Yellow Jackets, expressing his disappointment with the third season but appreciating the finale. Cathy and Todd emphasized the importance of having an educated opinion, like a rock critic, and understanding the tone of a show. He also shared his guideposts for navigating life’s chaos: integrity, humility, and compassion. Cathy and Todd’s Compassionate Leadership and Home Improvement Cathy and Todd discussed the importance of compassion and shared his admiration for Mr. Rogers and Dolly Parton as his icons. He also mentioned his favorite song, “What About Bob,” and its connection to the theme of compassion. Cathy and Todd encouraged the audience to choose their own words or systems to help them stay calm in chaos and remember their true selves. He also thanked Jeremy Kraft for his support of Zen parenting and encouraged anyone in need of home improvement services to contact him.…

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The Unseen Work of Regulating Others- Episode # 810 39:53

4 weeks ago39:53

39:53

Cathy and Todd talk about the double standard of managing other people’s emotions—how it’s both expected and criticized—and why this kind of emotional regulation is often misunderstood and overlooked. They also discuss menopause and why emotions can shift or intensify, and how learning what’s really going on can help the whole family better understand and respond, rather than dismissing what can be a really difficult time. Plus, they talk about The White Lotus, Yellowjackets, and talk about their upcoming conversation on navigating friendships—with our kids and within ourselves—on Wednesday, April 9th at Deerfield High School. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp 14:25 The problem with “let them” Links shared in this episode: The Unseen Work of Regulating Others An Oprah Winfrey Special: The Menopause Revolution For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com . This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Regulating Conversations in Social Situations Cathy discusses the unseen work of regulating others in social situations, particularly within families. She explains how she often manages conversations to keep them harmonious, ensuring everyone feels included and tempering moods when necessary. This can involve subtle interventions like making eye contact, giving others a chance to speak, or even physically stopping someone from interrupting. While this work can be beneficial, Kathy acknowledges it can also be controlling and exhausting, leading to burnout. She notes that this behavior is both expected and criticized, creating a challenging dynamic for those who tend to regulate others. Todd’s Perimenopause Experiences and Emotional Changes Todd discussed his experiences with perimenopause, explaining that hormonal changes can lead to increased anger and emotional vulnerability. He shared that these feelings are temporary and can be managed with the right support. Todd also mentioned the importance of understanding and accepting these changes, rather than attributing them to societal stereotypes. Supporting Partners Through Menopause Todd discussed the challenges of supporting his wife during her menopause, emphasizing the need for understanding and empathy. He mentioned Oprah’s recent special on menopause and the importance of learning about the hormonal changes women experience. Todd also expressed frustration with the medical system, feeling he has to advocate for himself and do extensive research to get the right care. He highlighted the need for men to better understand and support their partners during this time. Addressing Personal and Societal Issues Todd discussed the challenges of dealing with personal and societal issues while maintaining a positive demeanor. He emphasized the importance of acknowledging and addressing these issues, even if they are uncomfortable or difficult to discuss. Todd also mentioned the need for emotional release and the impact of external factors on personal well-being. The team discussed the importance of open communication and the need to address topics that are often overlooked. Todd concluded by promoting the Team Zen parenting virtual community and the services of Jeremy Kraft.…

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Strong Enough to Connect: Masculinity, Humility, and Responsibility Episode# 809 56:20

5 weeks ago56:20

56:20

Todd and Cathy discuss a recent episode of survivor, Cathy’s frustration at Todd’s double parking, as well as humility, masculinity, responsibility, and emotional support in relationships. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Growing Our Girls discussion about Restoring Our Girls Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Links shared in this episode: Survivor 48 – Jeff Probst Gets Emotional as Eva Opens Up For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com . This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Zen Parenting Radio: Humility & Survivor Todd and Cathy introduce episode 809 of Zen Parenting Radio, discussing potential topics including humility, masculinity, and responsibility. They promote Cathy’s new book “Restoring Our Girls” and mention upcoming virtual book club talks and in-person events. Todd also highlights their Zen Talk community and various micro-communities within Team Zen for parents seeking support. They then discuss a recent episode of Survivor, where a contestant named Eva had an intense emotional reaction during a competition, leading to Jeff Probst crying for the first time in 48 seasons. Joe’s Empathetic Actions in Survivor Todd discussed an emotional episode from the TV show Survivor where a contestant named Eva, who has autism, experienced a meltdown. Her teammate Joe, who was not on her team, helped calm her down by providing physical comfort and reassurance. Todd highlighted Joe’s actions as an example of masculinity, emphasizing that Joe’s caring and calm demeanor were more important than the game’s rules. Todd also suggested sharing this clip with children as a creative way to teach them about empathy and understanding. Todd’s Emotional Support and Survivor Todd expressed gratitude for the support he received from the team, emphasizing the importance of asking for and receiving help. He shared a personal experience of dealing with autism and the need for vulnerability. Todd also discussed the emotional impact of losing a pet and the importance of allowing oneself to feel and process emotions. He praised Jeff Probst’s ability to connect with the audience and share his own experiences as a parent. Todd concluded by highlighting the various aspects of the show Survivor, emphasizing its themes of teamwork, empathy, and human connection. Demonstrating Family Values Through Pop Culture Todd discussed the importance of demonstrating family values to children through pop culture examples and real-life experiences. He emphasized the need for parents to model humility and take responsibility for their actions, rather than blaming others. Todd also highlighted the need for children to understand that they have choices in life and should not blame others for their difficulties. The discussion also touched on the concept of humility and its importance in personal and professional life. Vulnerability and Humility in Relationships Todd discussed the importance of vulnerability and humility in personal and professional relationships. He emphasized that vulnerability is a sign of strength, as it allows for learning, taking responsibility, and seeking help. He also highlighted the negative impact of overpowering and win-at-all-costs mentality, which can lead to exhaustion and damaged connections. Todd encouraged the group to reflect on their own eulogies and consider qualities they want to be remembered for, rather than focusing solely on power and conquest. He defined humility as having a modest view of one’s own importance, recognizing the importance of learning from others, and acknowledging strengths and weaknesses without arrogance or insecurity. Todd’s Double Parking Frustration Todd expressed frustration about double parking outside Chipotle, which he felt was uncool and caused inconvenience to others. He also mentioned an incident where he was in a hurry to get food and blamed Chipotle for having a new dish that made him hungry. Kathy defended Todd’s actions, suggesting that he was just trying to get food quickly and that double parking was not a big deal. However, Todd insisted that double parking was not acceptable and that it was important to be mindful of others. Emotional Support in Relationships Todd discussed the importance of emotional support in relationships, using the example of Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco’s podcast interview. He emphasized the need for both partners to feel supported and loved, and how this can lead to a more successful relationship. Todd also shared his own experiences with his wife, highlighting the importance of active listening and empathy in maintaining a healthy relationship. He encouraged others to create the relationship they want, rather than simply accepting a passive or unequal dynamic. Parenting and Partnership: Humility and Connection Todd and Kathy discuss the complexities of parenting and partnership, focusing on the importance of supporting each other and repairing relationships after conflicts. They emphasize the value of humility and apologizing to children when mistakes are made, as it strengthens connections and prevents traumatic experiences. The conversation touches on the challenges of overcoming ingrained family patterns and the need for self-compassion in navigating these issues. They conclude by mentioning their financial advisor and a local painter, and reflect on the key themes discussed, including masculinity, humility, responsibility, and connection.…

Zen Parenting Radio

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Raising Kids Who Enjoy Learning- Episode# 808 46:18

6 weeks ago46:18

46:18

Todd and Cathy discussed the importance of raising kids who enjoy learning, emphasizing the need for a play-based learning environment and the importance of not overburdening children with academic tasks too early. They also highlighted the challenges faced by educators, including pressure from parents and curriculum requirements, and advocated for more creative and diverse teaching methods. The conversation also focused on parenting strategies, the role of teachers, and the need for parents to manage their children’s schoolwork, with a particular emphasis on understanding and supporting children’s identities and interests. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Growing Our Girls discussion about Restoring Our Girls Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamps 4:08 Atlantic Article 16:08 Education System 34:53 Breakfast Club 43:21 Be on your kids team ** Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com . This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Meeting summary with AI Companion now supports additional languages in preview. Learn More Raising Kids Who Enjoy Learning In this episode of Zen Parenting Radio, Todd and Cathy discuss the importance of raising kids who enjoy learning. They explore the education system, focusing on the role of teachers and the impact of the system on children’s learning experiences. They also discuss parenting strategies and the need for parents to manage their children’s schoolwork. The conversation is based on an article from The Atlantic, which highlights the disengagement crisis among teenagers. The hosts emphasize the need for a play-based learning environment and the importance of not overburdening children with academic tasks too early. They also mention a book by Cathy Cassani Adams, “Restoring Our Girls,” which they encourage listeners to read. Education and Parenting Approaches The discussion focuses on education and parenting approaches. Todd and his partner emphasize the importance of allowing children to learn independently and fail, rather than constantly nagging or pressuring them. They argue that the purpose of education should be to develop critical thinking skills and a love for learning, not just to achieve high grades or get into prestigious schools. They criticize parents who intervene too much in their children’s education, suggesting that this can lead to disengagement and poor academic performance. The speakers also highlight the challenges faced by educators, including pressure from parents and curriculum requirements, and advocate for more creative and diverse teaching methods. Supporting Children’s Identities and Interests Todd discussed the importance of understanding and supporting children’s identities and interests, rather than pushing them towards predetermined paths. He emphasized the need for parents to be on their children’s teams, providing guidance and support rather than pressure. Todd also highlighted the importance of intrinsic motivation and allowing children to explore their passions, rather than solely focusing on academic success. He shared examples of how different children have found their own paths and encouraged parents to redefine what success means for their children.…

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“Adolescence” Episode 3- #807 1:00:36

7 weeks ago1:00:36

1:00:36

Todd and Cathy discussed their personal experiences and a Netflix miniseries called “Adolescence,”, focusing on issues such as gender dynamics, male rage, and online influences on young men. They explored the manosphere, its impact on society, and the importance of addressing digital sexism and male supremacy, while also examining family dynamics and communication styles between genders. They emphasized the need for understanding and addressing the experiences of boys and young men, encouraging open conversations about online content and emotions, and promoting positive relationships between genders. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Growing Our Girls discussion about Restoring Our Girls Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamps 8:21 Adolescence 13:00 Manosphere explained * 26:04 Generational comparison * 32:40 Men vs Women Comparison * 55:12 Boy Values ** Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com . This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Meeting summary with AI Companion now supports additional languages in preview. Learn More Quick recap Next steps Parents to have conversations with their sons about emotions and healthy ways to express feelings. Parents to discuss with their children what they are seeing online, especially related to the manosphere and bro culture. Parents to listen to and discuss media their children consume (e.g. Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson) to identify problematic content. Parents to affirm their sons’ value and worth beyond grades, sports, or achievements. Listeners to watch the Netflix series “Adolescence” and share their thoughts with Todd or Kathy via email. Interested listeners to sign up for upcoming Zen Parenting events (Zen Talk, Team Zen community for differently wired children, Women’s Circle). Interested fathers to join the Men Living weekly Full House meeting on fatherhood. Interested men to sign up for the Men Living weekend in Virginia in September. Summary Discussing Netflix Miniseries on Adolescence The podcast hosts Todd and Kathy discuss their recent experience of putting down their pet rabbit after 11 years, expressing the emotional difficulty of making that decision. They then introduce a Netflix miniseries about adolescence, focusing on an episode featuring a 13-year-old boy who stabs and kills a 13-year-old girl. The series explores issues such as gender dynamics, male rage, and online influences on young men. Todd and Kathy plan to discuss the episode and encourage listeners to watch the series, which they believe raises awareness about important societal issues. Manosphere: Digital Sexism and Male Supremacy Todd discussed the manosphere, a network of online communities focused on men’s issues, including masculinity, gender dynamics, and men’s rights. He highlighted key subgroups within the manosphere, such as men’s rights activists, MGTOW (men going their own way), pickup artists, and red pill communities. Todd emphasized the importance of addressing the manosphere, as it represents an extreme form of digital sexism and male supremacy. He encouraged parents to engage in discussions with their children about these issues, as there is an ongoing emergency that needs to be addressed. Family Dynamics and Emotional Repression The episode explores the complex dynamics of a family dealing with a troubled 13-year-old boy named Jamie, who has committed a serious crime. The therapist, a woman in her late thirties or early forties, faces challenges from both Jamie and the male guard as she attempts to assess the boy. The father’s approach to parenting, influenced by his own upbringing, emphasizes improvement over his father’s generation but still struggles with emotional expression. The mother is portrayed as bearing the emotional labor for the entire family, helping her husband, son, and daughter process their feelings while receiving little support herself. The discussion highlights the pervasive influence of the manosphere on young men and the cycle of emotional repression in families. Gender Differences in Communication Styles Todd and his wife discuss their different listening styles when their daughter shared stories from her trip. Todd listened passively while his wife was more engaged, demonstrating typical gender differences in communication. They explore how women often share detailed stories to process experiences and emotions, while men tend to prefer bullet points. The conversation then shifts to a TV show where a female therapist uses deeper questioning techniques compared to a male therapist’s more superficial approach. Finally, they discuss a case involving a boy who stabbed a girl after she rejected and cyberbullied him, emphasizing that her actions, while hurtful, did not justify violence. Understanding Women’s Experiences and Patriarchy Todd discussed the issue of entitlement and the normalization of dehumanizing behavior, particularly in the context of men and women. He highlighted the cycle of hurt and the need for resilience and adaptation. Todd emphasized the importance of understanding women’s experiences and the need for men to learn the language of women. He also touched on the topic of patriarchy and the need for men to learn how to speak to women and girls in a way that is respectful and understanding. Gender Friendships: Todd’s Perspective Todd discussed the importance of having male and female friends, highlighting the cultural aspect of gender friendships. He shared his experiences of having strong female influences in his life, including his mother, sister, and wife. Todd also emphasized the significance of having male friends, which he believes is often overlooked. He mentioned his efforts in introducing his male friends to his female friends, and how this has led to the formation of strong friendships. Todd also touched upon the challenges of maintaining friendships as people grow older and become busier with their lives. Addressing the Manosphere’s Influence on Boys Todd discussed the importance of understanding and addressing the experiences of boys and young men, particularly in relation to the manosphere and its influence on their perceptions of masculinity. He emphasized the need for parents to engage in conversations with their children about the content they are exposed to online, and to encourage open expression of emotions. Todd also highlighted the importance of recognizing and addressing the potential harm caused by certain cultural and societal influences, rather than simply dismissing them. He stressed the need for boys to feel valued and worthy, and for parents to provide a supportive environment for their children to develop a positive sense of self. Addressing Male Rage and Violence Todd discussed the cycle of pain and violence, particularly in the context of male rage and its impact on women. He emphasized the need to address the root causes of such behavior and encouraged everyone to watch a show that explores these issues. Todd also mentioned a book about real conversations and their impact on daughters’ lives. He ended the conversation by thanking Jeremy Kraft for his contributions.…

Zen Parenting Radio

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Not Tuning Out—Just Engaging Differently Episode #806 51:33

8 weeks ago51:33

51:33

Todd and Cathy shared strategies for staying informed without burning out from the world, and the need for personal well-being for continued engagement and making a difference. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com . This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile Bullet points- Set Boundaries Allocate specific times for news consumption (e.g., 15 minutes in the morning or after work). Avoid checking the news right before bed to protect your mental space. Diversify Media Types Switch between reading, podcasts, and videos to prevent fatigue. Choose formats that feel manageable rather than overwhelming. “Good Enough” Knowledge You don’t need to know every detail about every issue. Aim for a solid understanding rather than full mastery. Balance Heavy News with Positive Stories Seek out hopeful, solution-focused reporting to counterbalance negative headlines. Actionable Steps When news feels overwhelming, channel that energy into something productive—donating, volunteering, or having meaningful conversations. Self-Care Recognize when you need to step away and give yourself permission to unplug without guilt. Be Mindful of Social Media Social media algorithms often amplify anxiety-inducing content. Consider limiting exposure or curating your feed to minimize stress. Discernment Ask yourself: Do I need to know this? How does this information serve me? This can help you focus on what truly matters. AI Summary Summary Parents’ Favoritism and Golden Child Todd discussed a study by the American Psychological Association (APA) that analyzed data from over 19,000 participants, revealing that parents tend to favor their daughters, eldest children, and more conscientious kids. Todd and the other participants debated the reasons behind this preference, with some suggesting it might be due to the child being easier to parent or more emotionally connected. They also discussed the concept of a “golden child” and how it might be perceived as a way for parents to feel good about themselves rather than a reflection of the child’s actual qualities. Todd Discusses Jill Scott and Philanthropy Todd discusses a song called “Golden” by Jill Scott, an R&B singer and actress known for her roles in Tyler Perry’s movies. He then shares positive news from the Good Good Good Newsletter, highlighting Travis Kelce’s donation of a mansion for homeless youth housing and Virginia lawmakers’ unanimous passage of a bill to educate the public about menstrual disorders. Todd expresses his preference for tangible philanthropic efforts and wonders about the implementation of the Virginia education initiative. Menopause Education and Self-Advocacy Todd discussed the lack of education on menopause for medical professionals, highlighting the need for women to advocate for themselves and seek information on the topic. He shared his personal experiences and the challenges of finding reliable information, emphasizing the importance of self-education and seeking specialists when necessary. Todd’s Reflection on Mary Oliver’s Poem Todd discussed a Mary Oliver poem that resonated with him, focusing on the themes of worry, self-improvement, and health. He emphasized the importance of recognizing when worry is not productive and instead choosing to “go out and sing,” suggesting that this mindset shift can be practiced over time. Todd clarified that the poem does not advocate for complete elimination of worry, but rather encourages individuals to recognize when they are stuck in a cycle of worry and to break free from it. Todd Discusses Trust and Communication Todd discussed the importance of trust and open communication in relationships, particularly in the context of parenting. He emphasized that snooping or hiding information is not a healthy approach and can damage relationships. Todd also shared his perspective on the balance between staying informed and avoiding excessive worry or fear. He used examples from popular culture to illustrate his points. The conversation ended with a discussion on the potential benefits of open communication and the importance of understanding human nature in relationships. Staying Informed Without Burning Out Todd discusses strategies for staying informed without burning out. He emphasizes setting boundaries around media consumption, diversifying media types, and aiming for “good enough” knowledge rather than trying to understand everything in depth. Todd suggests balancing negative news with positive stories, taking actionable steps when possible, practicing self-care, and being mindful of social media’s effects. He stresses the importance of discernment in choosing what information to consume and engaging differently rather than tuning out completely. The conversation concludes with the idea that maintaining personal well-being is crucial for continued engagement and making a difference.…

Zen Parenting Radio

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Holding It Together- Episode #805 48:29

9 weeks ago48:29

48:29

We discuss Women’s History Month, emphasizing the importance of understanding women’s experiences and challenges in society. They explore various aspects of women’s safety, cultural norms, and the need for men to engage with and support women’s issues. We also highlight the significance of nurturing relationships, adaptability, and women’s role in holding memories and creating change, while encouraging men to be curious and empathetic towards women’s experiences. Links shared in this episode Meryl Streep Speaking Men Women Holding Things For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com . This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Women’s History Month: Engaging Men Todd and Cathy introduce episode 805 of Zen Parenting Radio, focusing on Women’s History Month in March. They discuss the importance of men engaging with women’s issues, referencing Meryl Streep’s comments on how women have adapted to a male-dominated culture. Todd and Gabby emphasize that understanding women’s experiences is crucial for everyone, not just women. They also mention the origins of Women’s History Month, which began as a week-long observance initiated by President Jimmy Carter in 1980 before expanding to a full month in 1987. Women’s Safety and Hypervigilance Challenges Todd discussed the challenges faced by women in navigating public spaces and the responsibility that falls on them to stay safe. He highlighted the mental load of hypervigilance that women often have to bear and the expectation that they adapt to the unsafety of their lives. Todd also shared stories of women who have been abused, stalked, or terrorized, emphasizing the need for understanding and empathy. He suggested that the podcast could serve as a platform for men to understand the experiences of women and to speak up or take action when necessary. Todd also discussed specific cases, such as a professional tennis player who was stalked at a tournament, and the need for women to identify potential threats and take action to ensure their safety. Empowering Women Through Cultural Awareness Todd discussed the importance of understanding and addressing the cultural norms that contribute to a lack of safety for women. He emphasized the need for men to listen to women’s experiences and share them with others, particularly with their sons, to help shift the conversation towards prioritizing women’s safety. Todd also highlighted the interconnectedness of the pyramid of rape culture, starting with seemingly benign comments and jokes, which can lead to more severe acts of violence. He suggested that reading his book, “Restoring Our Girls,” could help men better understand women’s experiences and perspectives. Todd also recommended watching certain movies, such as “The Hunting Ground” and a documentary about rape kits, to gain insight into the issues faced by women. Political Disruptions at Town Hall Meeting Todd expressed concern about political disruptions and censorship at a recent Idaho Republican Town Hall meeting, where a woman was dragged out for asking questions. He also shared a video clip from Myra Kalman’s book, “Women Holding Things,” emphasizing the need to focus on positive aspects while acknowledging the real-world impact of these issues. Holding Relationships for Personal Growth Todd discussed the importance of holding and nurturing relationships, emphasizing that these connections are essential for personal growth and happiness. He contrasted this with the pursuit of power, money, and fame, which he believes can never fully satisfy an individual. Todd also highlighted the significance of humor and adaptability in navigating the challenges of life, particularly for women who have historically been expected to adapt to changing circumstances. He praised the work of Myra’s book and the concept of “holding” as a metaphor for the various responsibilities and relationships that women often undertake. Empowering Women’s Roles in Families Todd discussed how women play a significant role in holding memories, rituals, and providing emotional support in families. He emphasized the importance of women in creating change and their ability to bring people together. Todd also acknowledged the hard work women put in and encouraged men to be curious and empathetic towards women’s experiences. He ended the conversation by promoting a local business and mentioning an upcoming women’s group meeting.…

Zen Parenting Radio

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End of Discussion- Episode #804 1:01:21

10 weeks ago1:01:21

1:01:21

Todd and Cathy discussed the importance of critical thinking, the avoidance of thought terminating cliches, and the need for clear roles and expectations within their team. They also expressed concerns about the current state of the administration and its impact on society, and highlighted the importance of adapting to changing cultural norms and supporting children's spiritedness. Lastly, they emphasized the need for open and honest conversations, and encouraged others to join Team Zen and support children's feelings of unfairness.…

Zen Parenting Radio

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This Is So Awkward, Modern Puberty Explained- Episode #803 55:42

11 weeks ago55:42

55:42

Todd and Cathy talk with Cara Natterson MD and Vanessa Kroll Bennett, authors of This Is So Awkward, Modern Puberty Explained. We share experiences and motivations for focusing on puberty and sex education. They also discussed the differences between traditional and progressive education systems, the influence of pornography on societal attitudes towards body hair, and the challenges parents face in navigating conversations about puberty and sexuality with their children. The group agreed on the importance of open communication, maintaining physical affection, and promoting bodily autonomy and agency in these conversations.…

Zen Parenting Radio

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How an Open Mind Strengthens Our Relationships- Episode #802 1:04:14

12 weeks ago1:04:14

1:04:14

Todd and Cathy reminisced about the evolution of telephones and shared their experiences with prank calls and shared phone lines. They also discussed the importance of open-mindedness, empathy, and understanding in human interactions, emphasizing the need to trust oneself and not rely solely on personal experiences or opinions. The conversation concluded with a reflection on the passage of time and the changing dynamics of family relationships.…

Zen Parenting Radio

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Flood the Zone: Staying Calm When Things Get Loud- Episode #801 1:01:36

13 weeks ago1:01:36

1:01:36

Todd and Cathy discussed the concept of "flooding the zone" in family dynamics and personal peace of mind, emphasizing the importance of critical thinking, discernment, and effective communication. They explored various strategies to manage the effects of flooding the zone, including being clear about core values, prioritizing and filtering information, and engaging with discernment. The discussion also touched on the importance of emotional regulation, resilience, and setting boundaries in parenting, as well as the role of physical touch and respect for children's boundaries.…

Zen Parenting Radio

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The Ten Best Moments- Episode #800 53:53

14 weeks ago53:53