141. I Know Why They Cheated - It Still Hurts Though

After the Affair

Understanding why someone betrayed you can be helpful. It can explain what happened. It can offer context. It can even soften the sting, temporarily.

But it doesn’t erase the pain.

In this episode, we unpack the emotional tug-of-war between empathy and accountability after infidelity. We explore how understanding your partner’s internal struggles, their fears, avoidance, or disconnection doesn’t mean you're condoning their choices. It simply means you're starting to see the full picture.

You’ll learn how empathy and boundaries can exist side-by-side, and why making sense of the betrayal is only one part of the healing process.

Key Takeaways

• Empathy does not equal agreement, you can understand your partner without excusing their behaviour.
• Betrayal often stems from fear or disconnection, not just desire or malice.
• The pain doesn’t vanish just because you understand “why” it happened, and that pain still matters.
• You can hold compassion and boundaries at the same time.
• Real healing comes when you stop trying to make it all make sense, and start learning how to sit with what is

Have you struggled with the tension between understanding and hurt? Leave us a review or share this episode with someone who’s trying to make sense of their own betrayal story.

🗣️ And if you want guided support navigating that emotional minefield, join the waitlist for our Chaos to Clarity group coaching program — doors are opening soon.

Connect with Luke:

• Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
• Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
• Email: [email protected]

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