Best Gary Trosclair Podcasts (2025)

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Finding the Meaning of Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Traits 9:56

2d ago9:56

9:56

Compulsive behavior is often dismissed as neurotic, but what if it's a deep call for connection and purpose? This post explores the redemptive potential of obsessive-compulsive personality traits—how they can become a source of meaning, growth, and compassion when understood properly.By Gary Trosclair

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Ep. 89: Should You Unearth the Past? How Looking Back Can Help us Move Forward 23:24

9d ago23:24

23:24

Is burying the past holding you back? Most of us live as if we are still in the past without being aware of it. Discover how understanding your personal history can help you reclaim buried strengths, rewrite limiting stories, and live more freely in the present.By Gary Trosclair

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Ep. 88: Am I Being Passive-Aggressive? How to Know—and What to Do About It 10:52

16d ago10:52

10:52

Ever wonder if you're being passive-aggressive? Learn how to spot the signs, understand your hidden motives, and shift toward more conscious, assertive communication.By Gary Trosclair

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Ep. 87: Beyond the Switch: The Dark and Subtle Side of Punishment 12:39

23d ago12:39

12:39

Explore the true motivations behind punishment, its impact on relationships and society, and learn how to cultivate awareness to prevent destructive tendencies. Discover healthier ways to handle conflict and promote genuine justice. This episode explores the evolutionary and archetypal sources of punishment, how it is subtly used to more selfish en…

1
Ep. 86: The Hidden Drive Behind Compulsive Behavior: Carl Jung’s Path to Wholeness 12:50

1M ago12:50

12:50

In this episode we explore the profound though often unseen energy that leads to either wholeness or compulsive behavior. If this energy is blocked from its true goal, it make make us unbalanced. Discover Carl Jung’s insights on compulsive behavior and how blocked growth can lead to obsession. Learn how to unlock your potential through individuatio…

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Ep. 85: This is Not a Test: 3 Steps to Winning the Battle Against Insecurity 22:08

1M ago22:08

22:08

Insecurity underlies many of the mental health challenges we all experience, as if we are always taking a test and always fearing failure. But what causes this insecurity and how do we become more secure? In this episode we explore the three most common aspects of insecurity (feeling unlovable, morally deficient, or lacking incompetence), the paren…

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Ep. 84: Is Psychotherapy Effective? A Note for the Skeptical 9:05

1M ago9:05

9:05

For those of you who are skeptical about whether therapy is effective, I get it. Who’s to know whether what goes on behind closed doors does any good? And isn’t it in the interest of the therapist to excavate all sorts of problems to keep those checks coming? Therapists actually share those sorts of suspicions. We want to know about the truth and a…

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Ep. 83: 7 Ways Spending Time in Nature Heals the Driven Personality 12:08

2M ago12:08

12:08

There’s an increasing amount of research which suggests that spending at least two hours each week engaging with nature improves our well-being. And because of the epidemic of Nature Deficit Disorder (yes, it’s a real thing), an increasing number of healthcare professionals are even prescribing time in nature. This research implies that it’s benefi…

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Ep. 82: Want to Make Life Easier? Break the Habits that Make It More Difficult Than It Needs to Be 22:02

2M ago22:02

22:02

Life is not easy, and we actually make it harder if we imagine we can sashay through it effortlessly. But we can also make life more difficult than it needs to be by imagining that the path forward is steeper than it really is. In this post I explore the effect of "Mountain Mirage," its causes and its cures.…

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Ep. 81: A Short Guide to Love Languages for People with Obsessive-Compulsive Personality 15:26

2M ago15:26

15:26

To have a good relationship we need to learn to speak the love languages that our partner can understand and feel. This can be particularly uncomfortable for people who are obsessive-compulsive, because they are most familiar with one particular language. But learning a new language is always good, and the energy and determination that come with be…

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Ep. 80: Four Blocks to Releasing Resentment and Offering Forgiveness 21:03

2M ago21:03

21:03

Whatever the motivation for withholding forgiveness, it often hurts the holder more than it hurts the offender. And as I’ll show in this episode, not forgiving may be part of a larger mindset which blocks not just connection with that one person, but also a more fulfilling life.By Gary Trosclair

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Ep. 79: Authenticity: Why Being Realistically Real Matters 10:11

3M ago10:11

10:11

Living like no-one is watching is a rewarding but somewhat risky approach to life. While not caring what others think can allow us to be authentic, it may also put us in harms way, or lead us to hurt others. This episode explores how to be real in a realistic way.By Gary Trosclair

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Ep. 78: How to Harness the Power of Lists for Your Well-Being 11:50

3M ago11:50

11:50

Some of us live by our lists. We do whatever they tell us to do. Others dig their heels in and rebel against whatever chores have been assigned there. But who makes the list? Whoever does determines the power of lists to make our lives miserable or fulfilling.By Gary Trosclair

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Ep. 77: How to Help a Partner, Friend or Relative Who Feels Suicidal 18:20

3M ago18:20

18:20

How do you help a partner, relative or friend who feels suicidal? The situation is disturbing for anyone, and can be even more difficult for people who take too much responsibility and need to have things fixed and resolved. There are limits to what is within our control. And many of us feel too much responsibility in a situation like this. We like…

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Ep. 76: The Need to Control: A Compulsive Recipe for Poor Health 10:44

3M ago10:44

10:44

It might feel right at times to be all fired up and plowing through a messy house as if it were about to be condemned as inhabitable by the town, fixing errors in a discombobulated spreadsheet like your life depended on it, or planning every detail of your daughter’s 10th birthday party so that she’s guaranteed a spot on the social registry. But if…

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Ep 75: 6 Steps to Stop Being Judgmental 9:45

4M ago9:45

9:45

It’s human nature to have standards and to compare, but this tendency can go rogue and unleash harsh judgments on others—with results completely contrary to the original intentions. I have found it helpful to explore what triggers our judgment and to see what impact it has on the other person and ourselves as well. If we can learn to identify our m…

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Ep. 74: Four Ways that Control Smothers the Flames of Romantic Love 18:32

4M ago18:32

18:32

Ah romance. What could feel better than falling in love? Bliss, delight, ecstasy. But those can happen only if we can let go enough to get things going, and enough to sustain them as things get more challenging. Nothing smothers romantic love worse than control. And this happens in more ways than you might expect. Today we’ll explore some of the bl…

1
Ep. 73: Taoist Wisdom for Compulsive Perfectionists 13:29

4M ago13:29

13:29

While I find parts of the Tao Te Ching baffling, exasperating and mystifying, Lao Tzu’s encouragement to accept things as they are still conveys an attitude toward life that I find to be a good counterpoint to my driven nature. Since Taoist wisdom can be especially useful to people who are compulsive, perfectionist, and obsessive, I thought it migh…

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Ep. 72: 7 Ways to Achieve More Flexibility in Your Relationships 11:16

4M ago11:16

11:16

I know that most of my listeners are passionately committed to doing the right thing, unfortunately that can lead to doing the wrong thing. If we get rigid about the way things should be and end up controlling people to achieve that, we can hurt others, damage our relationships, and even sabotage the greater good that we were aiming for. In this po…

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Ep. 71: Clinging to Sacred Cows: Identity and Worth in the Compulsive Personality 15:06

5M ago15:06

15:06

People with compulsive and obsessive tendencies tend to hold on to things—money, objects, time and ideas. We imagine that these things we hold on to make us more secure. But too often they bring us more stress than security. Some of the things we hold on to constitute our identity and worth. These are sacred cows in the worst sense—traits that we f…

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Ep. 70: Are you a compulsive hero or a heroic compulsive? 13:58

5M ago13:58

13:58

One way to free ourselves from unhealthy compulsive behavior is to understand our motivations, what drives and actually controls us. While we’re all unique, there are ancient and common patterns that underlie the roles we take on in life such as mother, father, warrior, healer, savior, priest, jester, caretaker and leader. These patterns are known …

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Ep. 69: How Self Control and Inhibited Expression Hurt Relationships 12:00

5M ago12:00

12:00

Self control does have some benefits for relationships. But it also has dangers. If your self-restraint keeps you from expressing positive and intimate feelings, it may leave your partner feeling disconnected and unloved, which doesn't encourage them to express their feelings either, and then things start to go downhill quickly. But if you can be m…

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Ep. 68: Wield Your Shield Wisely: How Not to be Defensive 22:03

5M ago22:03

22:03

Few of us make it through life without ever getting defensive. Shields are universal and archetypal. But, at the risk of being dramatic, how defensive we get can dramatically affect our relationships and careers. Some people keep their Shield of protection up almost all the time. Others ram it into the other person's face. Both of these can severel…

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Ep. 67: The Power of Lists to Tyrannize or Harmonize 11:40

6M ago11:40

11:40

Lists can be either effective or excessive. They can help us to organize and prioritize what we need to do, and it feels great to cross things off. But they can also be very one-sided. Too often they are only about all the things we are supposed to do rather than the things we want to do. Why do lists have to be so bloody demanding, rather than all…

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Ep. 66: Welcome All Guests: Aging with OCPD (Obsessive-Compulsive Personality) 20:39

6M ago20:39

20:39

Most people get happier as they reach their 50s, 60s and 70s. But people who are obsessive, compulsive and perfectionistic may miss out on the potential benefits. Their default strategy of control can block the those benefits, and leave them metaphorically pushing a rock up a hill, only to have it come crashing down again. The solution is to relinq…

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Ep. 65: Letting Go and Holding On: The Essential Life Skills No-One Taught You 10:38

6M ago10:38

10:38

We often hear that we need to be able to let go, let go of things like resentment, control, limited identity, and replaying that embarrassing episode from last year’s Christmas party. But letting go wasn’t covered in the curriculum at your grammar school, or middle school, or high school. So today we’re going to talk about how to develop this skill…

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Ep. 64: Driving Nowhere: The Dangers of Being Overly Conscientious 16:59

6M ago16:59

16:59

Too often our efforts to be conscientious overshoot their goal and we become rigid and rulebound instead. Sometimes this is because we follow convention rather than conscience, and other times it's because we have forgotten our original motivation. In both cases, becoming more mindful of conscience and more skillful in how we execute it can put us …

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Ep. 63: Can Mindfulness Meditation Make You Less Compulsive? 12:04

7M ago12:04

12:04

Sitting still and watching their breathe may be the last thing most driven, perfectionist, and obsessive-compulsive people want to do. But it might be one of the most helpful things they can do. The benefits of mindfulness meditation for just about everyone have been well documented. In this post I'll explore some of the particular benefits for peo…

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Ep. 62: Being Frugal: Good Self-Care or Too Emotionally Expensive? 14:55

7M ago14:55

14:55

Frugality can be a blessing or a curse. It can provide for you practically and prepare you for rough times. But it may also cost you emotionally. It can leave you stingy, obsessed, and austere. Knowing whether it’s helpful or harmful for you requires that you know your own tendencies; Too withholding? Too indulgent? If you want to sort this out, it…

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Ep. 61: Feeling Stuck? Try Generosity. 17:40

7M ago17:40

17:40

Since people with obsessive-compulsive personality traits often feel that the right thing is to hold on to money, time, objects and compliments, they may miss out on the benefits of generosity. And since they tend to get engrossed in goals, projects, and fixing things, they may neurologically wire themselves into a narrow focus which excludes gener…

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Ep. 60: The Role of Self-Deception in Perfectionism 12:55

7M ago12:55

12:55

We like to think of ourselves as rational beings, behaving in accord with reasonable ideals. But we resort to rationalization and self-deception far more often than we may want to know. The results include anxiety, failure to be fulfilled, and conflict with others who are just as convinced that they're more reasonable than the other guy. This calls…

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Ep. 59: Navigating the Crossroads: 5 Steps to Becoming More Decisive 17:22

7M ago17:22

17:22

When we have difficult decisions to make, it is as if we come to a crossroads and the choice becomes loaded with extra pressure. If we can recognize when we've entered this territory, and reflect on our decision-making process--rather than the content--we can feel more comfortable with our decisions, and improve our ability to be more decisive. Con…

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Ep. 58: People Pleasing, Resentment, & Other Relationship Killers 13:50

8M ago13:50

13:50

People pleasing and obsessive-compulsive personality occur together far more than many might think. Some people heroically put all their determination and perfectionism into making other people happy with the assumption that it will come back to them in love, support or affirmation. It often does not happen that way. In fact, it can backfire.…

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Ep. 57: Regarding Your Battle with the World's Stupidity 19:20

8M ago19:20

19:20

The world can be really annoying. But we can question how annoyed we need to be. And examining our response can lead us to understand lots about ourselves. It could even make us happier. What do we expect of the world, and how do we handle it when it doesn’t meet our standards? This isn’t just about letting others off the hook, but an investigation…

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Ep. 56: In Praise of Healthy Perfectionism 9:20

9M ago9:20

9:20

Perfectionism has gotten a bad rap. Used well, it can serve us and others very well. Used badly, it kills the spirit. Perfectionism that feels necessary will grab and strangle you. Perfectionism that is simply desired can be very fulfilling. And watch where you bring it: it fits better in some arenas that others.…

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Ep. 55: What Happens When a Compulsive Meets the Archetype of the Saint 12:53

9M ago12:53

12:53

The archetype of the Saint can draw people with obsessive-compulsive personality to a life of devotion—even if that devotion is not standard religious fare. Righteousness can become so pronounced that they—and those around them—can hear nothing other than that siren call to perfection. Religion is then used as justification for rigidity. The draw i…

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Ep. 54: Chronic Urgency Stress Syndrome (CUSS) and That Monster Hiding Under Your Bed 13:13

10M ago13:13

13:13

We've all got a monster hiding under our bed: shame, fear, depression, or anger we feel we need to avoid. And we often try to avoid it with urgency: getting things done, fixing, and producing, always staying so focused on speed and efficiency that we lose site of what's most important. In this episode Gary explores the questionable strategy of urge…

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Ep. 53: Perceived Chaos and the Need to Control 10:55

10M ago10:55

10:55

For some of us chaos is disturbing on a deep level. And it's often beyond our control. But the question is whether the chaos is just out there in the outer world, or in our inner world. Our assessment and our reaction to it determine partly just how chaotic it is. In this episode Gary shares some of his own personal experiences with chaos and how h…

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Ep. 52: Do You Live With Ease Or Urgency? 11:03

11M ago11:03

11:03

Living with urgency and living with ease are two opposite approaches to life. If asked which we prefer, most of us would say ease, but few of us actually live that way. Join me in this episode to explore our surprising resistance to ease, the unhealthy side effects of urgency, and suggestions for how to transition from a life of urgency to a life o…

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Ep. 51: How Compulsive Perfectionists Can Cultivate Happiness 11:30

11M ago11:30

11:30

Stop thinking you’re supposed to be smelling the roses when you know that planting and managing the garden is what really makes you happy. Wouldn’t it be nice to be happy? I suspect that most of my listeners would agree, but find that as hard as turning off the sun. It feels out of our control. Everything that’s unresolved, imperfected and out-of-o…

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Ep. 50: How To Not Waste Your Time In Therapy 18:26

11M ago18:26

18:26

Some people are reluctant to go to therapy for fear of wasting their time there. Others may already be in therapy but fear they are wasting their time. This is understandable for the many compulsives who feel strongly about being efficient and effective. But you can go to therapy and use your time there wisely. To help listeners make the most of th…

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Ep. 49: Naming and Taming the Core Fears That Control Us 13:07

12M ago13:07

13:07

Beneath our everyday surface anxieties are deeper more substantial fears, core fears that control our behavior and affect our mood more than we imagine. If we can identify these core fears, and learn to stare them down, they have less power over us. To do this we need to also identify our coping strategies, the ones that allow us to temporarily esc…

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Ep. 48: 4 Lessons Perfectionists Learn When They Befriend the Archetype of the Fool 22:42

12M ago22:42

22:42

Seriousness is a questionable virtue. A least for those of us who tend want to have everything a certain way, need to have things resolved, and have a hard time delegating because no-one else will do it as well. When we get stuck in this mode, we need help to let go and appreciate life as it is. One character who has been doing this for thousands o…

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Ep. 47: Should You Tell Your Partner How to Be a Better Person? 11:28

12M ago11:28

11:28

So, you love your partner and you can see that what they're doing holds them back. Should you tell them what they're doing wrong? In this episode we will explore the impact of telling your partner what to change, the motivations involved, the best way to do it, and others ways to support your partner in their growth.…

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Ep. 46: Perfectionistic Partners and Moral Gaslighting 13:39

1y ago13:39

13:39

In this episode we explore a specific kind of gaslighting that takes place when one partner is domineering and/or perfectionist. Whether the perfectionist partner intends to or not, they may leave their partner feeling like there is something defective about them. I call this moral gaslighting and it's both painful for the partner, and keeps the pe…

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Ep. 45: How to Build a Foundation That Prevents Imposter Syndrome 16:29

1y ago16:29

16:29

Research indicates that as many as 70% of us experience imposter syndrome, the dread that you aren’t as good as others think you are, coupled with the certainty that they’ll discover the discrepancy and point you out with shame-shooting fingers. But we don't have to go through that. The solution is not proving to yourself that you're amazing after …

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Ep. 44: 5 Unintended Effects of Type A Parenting, and 17 Tips for Obsessive-Compulsive Parents 22:34

1y ago22:34

22:34

Parenting for Type A, driven, ambitious, high-achieving and obsessive-compulsive parents requires a different approach than the one we usually bring to our lives. Rather than pushing it requires waiting, in addition to work it requires play, and rather than achievement it requires connection. And because we don't always come across as we think we d…

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Ep. 43: Demand Resistance: What It is, What Drives It, and How it Serves or Cheats Us 22:06

1y ago22:06

22:06

If you've ever wanted to tell people or the world to shut up, back off, and quite pressuring you, you may have experienced Demand Resistance. This can be effective, but in some cases it might mean that you don't get your emotional needs met. Understanding what motivates you to protest, rebel or go on strike is an essential step in learning to use r…

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Ep. 42: Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder: A Disorder of Priorities 11:31

1y ago11:31

11:31

Take a moment to step back and look at the big picture of your life. Too often we lose track and lose our way, allowing defenses, habits, and behavioral avoidance to take us away from what's important. This may be most true of those with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder--whose intense drive can take them off course more quickly than other …

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Ep. 41: How to Let Go Without Giving Up 11:54

1y ago11:54

11:54

Letting go and giving up are near enemies: one is healthy while the other might try to look like it's healthy, but really isn't. Letting go frees us to pursue more fulfilling ways of living, while giving up causes depression. Join us for a discussion of the differences and how to come out on the better side.…

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Gary Trosclair Podcasts

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