Ep.58 How to express your needs without criticizing your partner

All of You

In this honest and vulnerable episode, we’re getting real about something that affects every relationship: expressing your needs without slipping into blame or criticism. We even rated each other (yep!)—Shiv gave Dave a score on how well he expresses his needs, and we unpack what makes this so challenging for both of us. Spoiler: the hardest part isn’t always the communication…it’s figuring out what you actually need in the first place. When we can’t express our needs, they go unmet—and that quiet disconnection builds resentment, shuts down intimacy, and keeps us from showing up as the partners we truly want to be.

We also dive into why how we ask matters just as much as what we ask for—because the energy behind our words can make it easier or harder for our partner to hear us without taking it personally. And what’s fascinating is that our bodies often give us subtle cues when our needs aren’t being met; learning to check in with ourselves, to notice that tightening in the chest or that knot in the stomach, takes practice—and many of us were never taught to do it consciously. In this episode, we share the tools and awareness we’ve developed to lean into those body cues, get clear on our needs, and speak them with honesty and compassion—so we can finally break the cycle of unmet expectations and create deeper connection.

Ready to do the work and go deeper in your own healing? Book a consultation call with us:

Dave: https://calendly.com/dlmartinell/30min

Shiv: https://calendly.com/siobhanmartinell/30min

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