Disconnect to Reconnect

Conversations with Thomas

#Self-Improvement #Thomas Kevin Dolan #Personal Growth #Healing #Guidance #Clarity #Action #Fear #Framework #Motivation #Society #Relationship #Podcasting Education #Inspiring #Succession

31:46

BE WARNED! This podcast will contain spoilers for Wednesday Season 2, episodes 1-4. Join host Caitlin Reilly each week as she takes you deep into the twisted world of Wednesday with an amazing group of guests! And producer Thing will be helping out to make sure everything goes to plan - well, mostly, anyway... In this episode: Jenna Ortega peels back the layers on the new tension between Wednesday and Enid. And that terrifying vision! Plus… Series showrunners Al Gough and Miles Millar reveal why they made Morticia Addams such a central character in this season, and what it means for Wednesday. Whether you’re a normie or an outcast, the Wednesday Season 2 Official Woecast will be the place for all things Nevermore! For more juicy details about Wednesday Season 2, head over to Tudum.com to get all of the latest updates. 1:15 Preparing for Season 2 3:25 Evolving Wednesday’s look for Season 2 4:12 Addams clan expands for Season 2 6:12 Joanna Lumley joining the cast 7:38 Wednesday and Enid's Friendship 9:00 Wednesday’s Vision 10:50 Jenna is a Producer 13:45 Al and Miles introduction 14:03 Wednesday takes down a Serial Killer 15:05 Intergenerational Relationships & the Addams Women 17:48 Catherine Zeta-Jones as Morticia in Season 2 20:48 Wednesday and Enid’s relationship 24:04 Steve Buscemi joining the cast 26:19 Wednesday’s popular! 27:45 Boy with the Clockwork Heart stop motion sequence…

about a year ago 50:14

MP3•Episode home

The impact of technology on human connection and the human condition is complex.

While it provides unparalleled opportunities for virtual connectivity, it is necessary to navigate the digital landscape with purpose.

Balancing technology use, prioritizing face-to-face interactions, and rethinking cultural norms around connection are critical steps in addressing the question of whether technology is isolating us.

Henry Thoreau shared this long ago and I think it’s a great reminder for these times, “That man (I’ll add woman as well) is rich whose pleasures are the cheapest.”

What would your life “feel like” if you took on a challenge of living without technology for a period of time?

No internet, no laptop, no TV, no smart phone.

Whether you're looking to unplug for an hour, a day, a week, or longer, I thought I’d share some ideas - with some stories - that may help you simplify your life, rediscover the beauty of the present moment, and find joy in the analog world.

36 episodes

Disconnect to Reconnect

Conversations with Thomas

published about a year ago

MP3•Episode home

The impact of technology on human connection and the human condition is complex.

While it provides unparalleled opportunities for virtual connectivity, it is necessary to navigate the digital landscape with purpose.

Balancing technology use, prioritizing face-to-face interactions, and rethinking cultural norms around connection are critical steps in addressing the question of whether technology is isolating us.

Henry Thoreau shared this long ago and I think it’s a great reminder for these times, “That man (I’ll add woman as well) is rich whose pleasures are the cheapest.”

What would your life “feel like” if you took on a challenge of living without technology for a period of time?

No internet, no laptop, no TV, no smart phone.

36 episodes

#Self-Improvement #Thomas Kevin Dolan #Personal Growth #Healing #Guidance #Clarity #Action #Fear #Framework #Motivation #Society #Relationship #Podcasting Education #Inspiring #Succession

All episodes

1
From Pressure To Power: Choice vs. Decision 15:07

3 days ago15:07

15:07

Ever find yourself five decisions deep into a life that doesn’t feel like yours? In this episode we dive into the deceptively subtle—but wildly transformative—difference between making decisions and living by choice . (Spoiler: only one of them usually involves panic-sweating while pretending to be fine.) From neuroscience to spiritual wisdom, childhood stories to adult crossroads, this episode is a love letter to your agency. You’ll learn how to shift from people-pleasing and autopilot into embodied, aligned living—one brave choice at a time. If you’re tired of performing perfection and ready to start choosing on purpose, this episode will help you reset your internal compass—and remind you that your life is yours to live, not just manage. As I like to remind my clients, “A decision is what you do. A choice is who you are.” Let’s start there.…

1
Pain Points to Your Power 15:36

17 days ago15:36

15:36

In this episode of Conversations with Thomas , we get intimate with the emotional bruises that won’t stop showing up—the patterns, inner critics, and silent spirals that keep tugging at our peace. Thomas explores the concept of pain points —not just passing discomforts, but persistent sore spots that often hold the key to our healing and personal power. With warmth, humor, lived truth, and a dose of science (no eye glaze, promise), Thomas walks us through five essential ways to identify your core pain point—by tracing patterns, decoding the inner critic, exploring old narratives, and reclaiming the parts of yourself you’ve been trying to outrun. You’ll hear: • A personal story about what a missed text really meant • A journaling exercise to help you gently meet your pain • Research from the APA and Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett that reminds us why unhealed pain repeats • A powerful quote from James Baldwin to anchor you in resilience Oh—and if you’ve been trying to prove your worth, this episode might just convince you that your power has nothing to do with performance. Bring your journal. Bring your truth. Nervous giggles welcome.…

1
Your Truth Doesn't Need Approval 19:38

4 weeks ago19:38

19:38

In this bold, heartfelt, and hilariously honest episode, Thomas dives deep into the powerful realization that your truth doesn’t need to be applauded to be valid. With wisdom, wit, and a touch of science, he unpacks how approval-seeking can quietly hijack your identity—and what it really costs when you silence your truth to fit in. Drawing from his memoir Little Fag , Thomas shares a raw story of growing up gay in a world that demanded perfection, and the freedom he found when he finally chose authenticity over approval. You’ll also get a 5-question “Approval Inventory,” a truth-telling daily practice, and a gentle but fierce reminder that living your truth is one of the most radical acts of self-love. This is your permission slip to stop performing and start breathing.…

1
Start with How You Failed 17:53

7 weeks ago17:53

17:53

A Gentle Note Before You Begin to Listen This space holds truth—and sometimes, truth is tender. The story I share here includes reflections on suicidal thoughts and lived experiences with mental health struggles. If this is a sensitive subject for you, please honor your heart as you read or listen. You have full permission to pause, skip, or return when it feels safe. You are not alone. Your well-being matters more than any story. If you or someone you love is struggling, I encourage you to reach out to a trusted support, therapist, or crisis resource in your area. There is help. There is hope. And there is healing. With deep respect for your journey — Welcome. Please begin when you’re ready. Start with How You Failed In this episode of Conversations with Thomas , we flip the script on how we usually measure success. Thomas invites us to start by sharing our failures—the messy, mortifying, oh-shit moments we’d rather keep hidden. Because when we tell the truth about how we fell down, we give ourselves and others permission to get back up. Drawing from his own life—like the day he almost ended it all at Bow Falls in Calgary—Thomas shares how failing to take his own life became his biggest triumph. That failure woke him up to the power of living, to the fierce desire to turn pain into purpose. And he reminds us: failure isn’t the end—it’s the forge that shapes us. Alongside personal stories and scientific insights (like how the brain’s error-monitoring system actually helps us grow), Thomas weaves in humor and heart, showing us that failure is life’s way of recalculating the route. He also shares how his own “coaching misfires” became the catalyst for authentic, human-centered connection—and extends an invitation to listeners to explore the gold in their own failures. So, take a deep breath and join Thomas in this brave conversation. Because in the end, our failures aren’t proof we’re unworthy. They’re reminders we’re alive, we’re learning, and we’re loved. Let your failure become the compass that points you to what matters most.…

1
Flawsome 13:15

9 weeks ago13:15

13:15

Best for: Humans. Especially the ones trying really hard not to be. Ever felt like a beautiful disaster wrapped in a hoodie of self-doubt? Good. You’re in the right place. In this heart-cracking, belly-laughing episode, Thomas explores the liberating concept of being flawsome —that sacred sweet spot where your mess meets your magic. Popularized by Timber Hawkeye in The Opposite of Namaste , flawsome is about embracing your imperfections not as liabilities, but as your own weird and wonderful superpowers. Thomas serves up soulful insight, relatable stories, a little science (just enough to impress your therapist), and a real-world practice you can do without needing to sage your house or solve your childhood trauma in one go. You'll meet flawsome legends like da Vinci, Lucille Ball, and Mr. Rogers—and also hear about that time Thomas accidentally called himself a "life couch" at a speaking gig. #TrulyIconic This episode is perfect for: • Anyone who’s tired of pretending they’ve got it all together • Recovering perfectionists • Folks still figuring-it-out • Anyone who’s ever autocorrected their “inner growth” into something much less holy • People who find Rumi and ridiculous real-life moments equally healing Come for the laughs, stay for the radical self-acceptance—and leave knowing you don’t have to be flawless to be fabulous.…

1
Rituals That Bind Us 12:24

11 weeks ago12:24

12:24

Rituals That Bind Us In this soulful and insightful episode, Thomas Kevin Dolan explores the quiet power of ritual—the small, sacred acts that tether us to meaning, to one another, and to ourselves. Broadcasting from Honolulu, Hawai`i, Thomas begins with a heartfelt land acknowledgment and a warm welcome into a conversation that blends research, personal story, and practical wisdom. From the science of rituals to childhood memories of finding peace in a field of grass, Thomas reflects on how even the simplest acts—like bedtime questions, noodle nights, or lighting a candle—can become anchors of connection and care. You’ll hear about rituals that have sustained his marriage, grounded his nervous system, and created a sense of home in the world. He also introduces “The R.I.T. Way”—a three-step method to help you reflect, intend, and tend to rituals of your own. Whether you already have rituals or are just beginning to notice them, this episode invites you to celebrate the beauty in the ordinary. To close, a powerful quote from Audre Lorde reminds us that caring for ourselves through intentional practices isn’t self-indulgence—it’s revolutionary. Expect: — Research-based insights on the psychological power of ritual — Personal stories from Thomas’s life and memoir Little Fag — A three-step method for creating your own rituals — A blend of humor, heart, and grounded wisdom — Gentle inspiration to make meaning in your own daily life Tune in and discover how ritual—no matter how small or quirky—can be a radical act of love.…

1
Thanking Our Mistakes 13:43

13 weeks ago13:43

13:43

Thanking Our Mistakes What if your biggest mistakes were actually your best teachers? In this heartful (and slightly sparkly) episode of Conversations With Thomas , we explore the radical idea of not just learning from our faults—but actually thanking them. You'll hear: • Why mistakes are neurologically good for us (yes, science backs your awkward moments) • A hilarious coaching fail that became a turning point • Two soul-nourishing practices to transform regret into growth • A love letter to 1988 (featuring a very delayed, very fabulous coming out) • How kintsugi, Carol Dweck, and cosmic whiteboards all tie into your healing journey This isn’t toxic positivity. It’s real, tender, sometimes cringey... and wildly human. Because your cracks aren’t your failure—they’re your art.…

1
The Platinum Rule 16:02

15 weeks ago16:02

16:02

The Platinum Rule In this episode of Conversations with Thomas , we explore a powerful shift in how we relate to one another: from the Golden Rule to the Platinum Rule—"Treat others the way they want to be treated." Thomas Kevin Dolan invites you into a soulful conversation blending science, story, and spirit. You'll hear insights from psychology, queer wisdom, and personal healing journeys—including a tender story from his book Little Fag: A Story of Self-Acceptance and Healing —that reveal how the Platinum Rule creates deeper, more compassionate connections. With a practical practice called The Platinum Swap , Thomas offers a tangible way to embody this heart-led principle in your everyday relationships. Whether with loved ones, chosen family, or even yourself, this episode is a reminder that true love begins with listening. What You’ll Learn: • The difference between the Golden Rule and the Platinum Rule—and why it matters • How empathy and interpersonal neurobiology deepen connection • Ways queer communities model expansive, attuned love • A story of relational healing through the Platinum Rule • A simple 10-minute practice to strengthen any relationship • How to love others (and yourself) with more nuance, care, and curiosity Who It’s Perfect For: • Heart-centered humans looking to deepen their relationships • Coaches, therapists, and helpers who value attuned connection • Those ready to practice empathy as a verb—not just a feeling…

1
KindFULLness 13:15

17 weeks ago13:15

13:15

In this warm, witty, and wisdom-packed episode of Conversations with Thomas , host Thomas Kevin Dolan explores the tender art of kindFULLness —a powerful blend of mindfulness and self-compassion. Through vulnerable storytelling, science-backed insight, and just the right dash of humor, Thomas shows how practicing kindFULLness isn’t about escaping life’s mess, but meeting it with a soft heart and curious mind. He shares personal stories from his memoir Little Fag: A Story of Self-Acceptance and Healing , including a middle school mirror moment and an emotional breakdown at his first Pride parade—moments where kindFULLness helped him stay grounded and whole. Thomas also breaks down what the research says, from cortisol reduction to increased emotional resilience, and offers a simple, guided practice to help listeners embody kindFULLness in their daily lives. If your inner critic needs a nap and your soul is craving a little grace, this one’s for you. What You'll Learn: • What kindFULLness is—and why it matters • How to spot your inner critic (and kindly tell it to pipe down) • The science behind self-compassion and stress reduction • A 4-step “Gentle Pause” practice you can use anytime • Why you can be a masterpiece and a work in progress Perfect For: Anyone who’s tired of beating themselves up and ready to show up with more softness, humor, and self-acceptance.…

1
Bridge Burning 21:37

20 weeks ago21:37

21:37

Bridge Burning How often have you heard quotes like these: “ Keep burning those bridges. It ’ s going to be lonely on that island of yours.” “ Don ’ t burn bridges you may have to cross later.” Or my favorite: “ Don ’ t burn a bridge and expect them to send a boat.” Usually, this is pretty sound advice. The one thing they are all missing is that little asterisk (*) that points to the disclaimer: • Unless that bridge is so screwed up that it might collapse and kill you at any moment. Sometimes you need to burn bridges in order to stop yourself from crossing them again.…

1
Grind or Ground 22:33

22 weeks ago22:33

22:33

Grind or Ground Grounding allows you to develop the capacity to appreciate your genuine rhythm and feel a natural, relaxing flow in both your internal and exterior worlds. Grind Culture is not really about Making It to The Top. It’s about trying to compensate for a lack of self-worth built in by a society that wants you to feel this way so that it can keep on producing and dominating everything. Rumi shares this: Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about. When you find that field. Share the location with me and I’ll meet you there.…

1
The 18-Inch Journey 20:39

24 weeks ago20:39

20:39

The 18 Inch Journey From this inner knowing comes great wisdom of understanding of the truth of your experience and your nature. When we look into our hearts, we are able to access that deep wisdom and use it to inform our minds with crucial information it does not receive from the outside world. It is easy to allow the heart to take a backseat because most of us spend a majority of our lives leading with our brains, preoccupied with the immense amount of stimulus coming from the outside (both good and bad). We must actively remember to check in and to connect with the heart. We need the hearts wisdom to help guide us through all of the outside stimulus. So remind yourself daily, hourly, from moment to moment and ask: • What is my heart telling me or wanting me to know? Become best friends, because if anyone has your best interests in mind, it’s your heart!…

1
Self-FULL 25:31

26 weeks ago25:31

25:31

Self-FULL Many of you know that I, at one time, had 9 other siblings. And of course, from my Mom’s vantage point, the best version of her children were the ones that weren’t going to be selfish. I was loved when I shared. I hated sharing with my siblings. Having nothing of my own growing up was quite painful. So as much as I learned to share, I preferred to be selfish, at least that’s what I wanted as a little boy. In therapy one day the idea of better self-care was bandied about by my therapist. “What would it be like to be more selfish”, my well-intended therapist asked. I remember starting to cry. Through tear filled eyes I said, “I always thought I wasn’t loved by my Mom when I was selfish.” It was a story I made up when she busted me for not sharing a block of Hershey’s chocolate a friend of my Dad bought for me. After getting me re-grounded he gently asked, “If there was term or concept that meant you focusing on you, but you didn’t use the term selfish, what would it be?” As my eyes lifted to meet his, I began to smile. “What about self-FULL? Would that work?” Like any good therapist worth their salt he asked, “Would that work for you?” “Hell yes!”, I said. In today’s podcast I want to breathe some energy into the concept of being self-full. I’ll also share 6 reasons why living “SELF-FULL” is incredibly generous.…

1
Badass Ancestors 20:49

28 weeks ago20:49

20:49

BADASS ANCESTORS James Nasymth shares this wisdom, “Our history begins before we are born. We represent the hereditary influences of our race, & our ancestors virtually live in us.” We are part of a lineage, a stream of intention and creation whose fountain springs from our ancestors. Their lives have been lived and completed with a beginning-middle-end. And yet, something of them lives within each of us. I feel compelled to include my ancestors as subject matter for this podcast & in doing so I’m inviting you to call your ancestors forward to listen with you today. Their forces have had a hand in shaping us. It’s a beautiful idea, to see ourselves as a stream, as a lineage, and important to remember and honor those who came before us. This podcast is being recorded in Honolulu, Hawaii. I acknowledge that the unceded ‘Āina, or land, in which I live, called Kakaako, is part of the larger territory recognized by Kānaka Maoli , or indigenous Hawaiians. I'm honored and grateful to be a guest of the Hawaiian Kingdom.…

1
Refresh 20:13

30 weeks ago20:13

20:13

Refresh I love the word refresh . It’s such a perfect word to describe starting again or returning to something. In fact, we even use it as a computer term. Sometimes when I’m working on my computer, leave it for a while, and then come back, things freeze up. Certain programs aren’t working properly anymore. So I have to refresh my computer screen. And there are times when that means I need to completely reboot. I read recently a very simple, both symbolic & practical, way to refresh your home - open the back door, let out the old energy. Open your front door let in the new energy. Letting in the freshness, letting out the stale. I sense it’s a powerful way to energize or re-energize our lives. In this podcast I’m want to share how it is we might consider a refresh on an emotional level. I’ll offer some very pragmatic ways to do this, all nestled in a bit of philosophy.…

Conversations with Thomas

1
Pause 31:09

33 weeks ago31:09

31:09

It is such a privilege to grow older & as I breathe into each day with gratitude, I realize there is a lot in my life that I find I cannot control. For what seems like a myriad of strategies, learned from brilliant therapists & terrific life coaches, even I at times fall prey to feeling helpless and distraught, while frantically trying to manage what is happening. I scramble to gain ground, when I fall out of integrity, as a way to make up for it. I plunge head first - not heart first - into emotionally charged confrontations nervously rehearsing and strategizing. Sometimes it all feels pretty shitty. The more I allow fear to rule the roost, the more frenetically my body and mind work. Days get overloaded with busyness. Movement feels imperative - which is usually just deflection - with me not wanting to deal with life. Planning for the sake of planning gets ramped up. Worrying, habitual talking, zero listening, fixing, posturing, texting, doom scrolling, binging, consuming, and numbing - these tactics run my life. In the world of doing, achieving and looking to the future, we seldom take the time to pause or be still. We may hear whispers that beckon us into stillness, but they are easily ignored. In this podcast I’m going to chat about how challenging it is to slow down when living in our fast-forward world. I’ll reflect, from personal experience, that there is always a price to pay if we don’t regularly take time simply to pause—to cease activity, to treasure quiet time, and to discern the deep meaning of life’s little moments.…

Conversations with Thomas

1
Are You Arguing With Reality? 29:02

35 weeks ago29:02

29:02

“When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time.” I heard this quote for the first time when reading a book by Byron Katie, and my brain screamed that I really needed to pay attention to this sentence. As a WayFinder Coach trained in Byron Katie’s work, literally called The Work. Think about this; when we argue with reality, we are denying what is, what already exists. Who of you listening argues the fact that the sun comes up every day, and that the earth rotates around the sun? Imagine dying on that hill as you argue against these two bits of reality. I’m going to trust, not one of you does, because that is a part of reality that we have come to accept as truth. In this podcast I’m going to chat about accepting what is, how to more easily embrace reality & share some insight on how to make this common thread across our challenges: our inability to deal with reality - a wee bit easier.…

Conversations with Thomas

1
Challenge: Make It Interesting 26:23

37 weeks ago26:23

26:23

Although it felt a bit nebulous, maybe even boring when I thought about sharing a conversation about challenge, I’ve landed on now seeing its merits. During this podcast I’ll share some thoughts about challenge, challenging ourselves and what all of that really means. Think back to the last time you challenged yourself. Most likely, it involved leaving your comfort zone. There's a lot that falls under the umbrella of trying something new. For instance, maybe you ran an extra mile, woke up earlier than usual, or tried a new approach to solving a problem. It doesn't matter if it's a small challenge or a big one, that takes a year to accomplish. It's still a challenge. If you're on the road to self-improvement or personal growth, you need to know why and how to challenge yourself.…

Conversations with Thomas

1
Storyworthy Moments 18:55

39 weeks ago18:55

18:55

As an author I know the value of writing & even more important I know the power of story. Let's take a journey down memory lane. How much do you remember about the last 3 months? Do you remember everything you did? Or is it a bit of a blur and you remember just a handful of moments? When I think back, I almost always find that time has flown and I remember much fewer things than I'd expect – was it really nearly 5 years ago that we first went into lockdown? In this episode, borrowing from the work of Matthew Dicks, the author of Storyworthy, I am going to outline & encourage you to learn & utilize a method to keep track of your days in an interesting way. I’m going to begin it myself. Don't worry, I'm not going to suggest writing a diary! And I’m going to share a process for creating this new habit.…

Conversations with Thomas

1
Solitude: Not A Synonym For Loneliness 30:11

41 weeks ago30:11

30:11

There have been many occasions in my life where I’ve felt lonely. Some of these times I remember as incredibly painful; other times, I’ve relished in my solitude. During some periods, I’ve even forced myself into seclusion, which comes easily to me as an introvert. One thing all of these solo experiences have taught me is that it’s okay to be alone. In fact, with solitude, there’s a lot of self-growth to be had. In this podcast I want to share the value of solitude, yet also distinguish it from being alone or feeling lonely hence the title: Solitude: Not a Synonym for Loneliness I’ll chat about solitudes benefits, why some folks fear solitude, and of course I’ll share my experiences with solitude over my lifetime.…

Conversations with Thomas

1
Don't Edit Out the Messiness 35:44

43 weeks ago35:44

35:44

In this podcast I’ll chat about life’s mess - we’ve all been there or perhaps you’re sitting in one right now. It may sound strange to hear, but I’m going to advocate for you to embrace the mess - perhaps at times champion it. Your defects and weaknesses make you authentic. Don't focus on your shortcomings. Never assume that others just see those things. In actuality, the traits you dislike about yourself are probably what people are drawn to. You are so unique because of your many freckles, boisterous personality, tell-it-like-it-is demeanour, and total openness. You could believe that these perceived weaknesses lessen your awesomeness, yet the contrary is true. These characteristics set you apart from the competition. Someone loves every single thing about you; even the things you wish you could change. The understatement of the century is that we are our own harshest critics. Put yourself in your closest friend's shoes whenever you begin to feel inadequate or like your life is going in a different direction from where you want it to. If they were present, what would they tell you? And be truthful with yourself. You know they would tell you that you are much more than you realize. They'd convince you that people genuinely find your quirks to be cute and endearing. You wouldn't be allowed to be so harsh on yourself. They'd be accurate, too. Everything in yourself that you wish to change is precisely what makes you so special. Why on earth would you want to resemble someone else? It's preferable to stand out by being distinctive than to blend in and follow the crowd. You're simply too great for that.…

Conversations with Thomas

1
Rituals Richness 40:29

46 weeks ago40:29

40:29

In this podcast I’ll share my experience with the energy of ritual - both big R ritual - like that created to acknowledge the passing of someone I love or little r ritual like taking the time to express my gratitude for the gift of waking up in the morning. I’ll share some of my rituals, offer an overview of what ritual is and then share some of the ways you might consider bringing or renewing a ritual practice in your life. I’m proud to share Rituals Richness with you. Rituals give us a sense of control. I’m not talking about religious ceremonies, esoteric chanting, or obsessive-compulsive behaviours. Rather, the more practical and down-to-earth kind of ritual that makes us feel in charge. Think about a job interview, a presentation in front of a large audience, or a first date. When facing uncertain situations, rituals help us focus, deal with anxiety, or feel more confident. Rituals increase our performance by turning small, everyday acts into more significant ones. They add meaning and joy to our lives. Rituals help me because they carry emotional significance.…

Conversations with Thomas

1
More Life with Intention 38:02

48 weeks ago38:02

38:02

Setting intentions is more than just a self-help trend—it's a transformative practice that influences how we navigate our daily lives. My memoir, Little Fag: A Journey of Self-Acceptance & Healing is filled with examples of how my life unfolded both with intention & without. Intention is about cultivating a mindset and heartset that guides our actions, emotions, and thoughts toward a desired way of being. Since beginning to partner with intention, which I know to be the creative energy of the Universe, my life has been extraordinarily - even when I struggled to share my authenticity with the world. In everything I do, intention is my partner. Wayne Dyer describes intention as “a strong purpose or aim , accompanied by a determination to produce a desired result…[it’s] a power that’s present everywhere …”. Intention isn’t a physical action, per say, but a force. Another way to think of intention comes from Carlos Castaneda: “Intention is a force that exists in the universe. When sorcerers (those who live of the Source) beckon intention, it comes to them and sets up the path for attainment, which means that sorcerers always accomplish what they set out to do.” In this podcast I’m going to talk about creating more life with intention, walk you through what intention is, speak to the benefits of intention setting, be practical and give examples of intentions you could set, dive a little deeper into how intention has lived for me and then close with how to set intentions.…

Conversations with Thomas

1
Let Go Lightly 33:01

50 weeks ago33:01

33:01

What is contemplation? The Oxford Dictionary describes it as a noun meaning “deep reflective thought”. I would never have thought I had a contemplative bone in my body, but of course that narrative is bullshit. My intention with this episode and perhaps every 12th episode, is to share the workings of some level of contemplation from my life. I’ll focus on the impact of the contemplative thought and choose to be vulnerable in terms of how it has coursed its way - or not - through my life. In this episode I’ll share a contemplation I call “hang on tightly let go lightly.” My family taught me to hang on tightly. They had much fear that what we had, which wasn’t much, would disappear if we didn’t white knuckle our grasp onto it. It was clearly a philosophy born from the perspective of lack. And of course, the tighter we gripped what we had, the quicker it disappeared. Think about attempting to hold onto a handful of water by grasping it tighter. What happens to the water? There are so many reasons why people don’t let go of things. Inside of their own brains, those reasons usually make sense, too! I’m not the only one who holds on to lots of things tightly - a lot of people.…

Conversations with Thomas

1
Your Centre Is Calling 47:39

1 year ago47:39

47:39

As Joseph Campbell said in The Power of Myth: There’s a centre of quietness within, which has to be known and held. If you lose that centre, you are in tension and begin to fall apart. The Centre doesn’t have a location, yet, there are physical regions associated with it. It’s more of a dynamic point of psychic equilibrium or inner balance. When you’re in the Centre, there’s no internal resistance. Everything simply is . You are alive, alert, and active. An inner calm prevails. Abiding in the present moment, you act spontaneously. You don’t try to achieve this present awareness; it’s a result of being in the Centre - human be-ing, not human do-ing. Happiness and sadness are not experienced in the Centre. You don’t feel “positive” or “negative.” In the Centre, you are neutral .…

Conversations with Thomas

1
Growth. Is. Not. Linear. 34:27

1 year ago34:27

34:27

We often envision growth as a straight line, a steady upward climb towards our goals. We picture ourselves diligently checking off tasks, achieving milestones one after another, and ultimately reaching the pinnacle of success with a sense of accomplishment. However, the reality of growth is far more nuanced and rarely resembles this linear ideal. And I know you know this by know, but the truth is, progress & growth aren’t linear. Progress & growth are a meandering journey with twists, turns, and even occasional steps backward. There will be periods of rapid growth, followed by plateaus or even setbacks. But understanding and embracing non-linear progress & growth is crucial for maintaining motivation, building resilience, and ultimately, achieving our intentions, goals & breathing life into the strategies we’ve created to move ourselves towards more growth.…

Conversations with Thomas

1
Disconnect to Reconnect 50:14

1 year ago50:14

50:14

The impact of technology on human connection and the human condition is complex. While it provides unparalleled opportunities for virtual connectivity, it is necessary to navigate the digital landscape with purpose. Balancing technology use, prioritizing face-to-face interactions, and rethinking cultural norms around connection are critical steps in addressing the question of whether technology is isolating us. Henry Thoreau shared this long ago and I think it’s a great reminder for these times, “That man (I’ll add woman as well) is rich whose pleasures are the cheapest.” What would your life “feel like” if you took on a challenge of living without technology for a period of time? No internet, no laptop, no TV, no smart phone. Whether you're looking to unplug for an hour, a day, a week, or longer, I thought I’d share some ideas - with some stories - that may help you simplify your life, rediscover the beauty of the present moment, and find joy in the analog world.…

Conversations with Thomas

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Dialing Into Our Inner Child's Voice 47:40

1 year ago47:40

47:40

My little guy, Tommy, calls for me to stop connecting with the world at times. He invites me to connect with him on the beach. To stop thinking so much, to stop analyzing all the time. His call, his playful nudge is to start feeling & start dreaming. I’ve learned to love him, yet it’s taken some effort. I love this from Glennon Doyle, from her book Untamed, “The voice I finally heard that day was my own--the girl I'd locked away at ten years old, the girl I was before the world told me who to be--and she said: Here I am. I'm taking over now.” We ignore the child within by ascribing its voice to immaturity rather than validating its heart as honest. In this podcast I’ll talk about connecting to your inner child and how it can helpful in making it easier to understand your adult experience, heal from pain in your past, and handle any future challenges with self-compassion. I’ll outline ways of getting to know that gorgeous little person inside you and outline a myriad of tips on how to reach out to your inner child, along with a brief visualization to serve as a way to make a connection. And I’ll close with some recommendations for how you can tap into your inner child’s wisdom. Like James Broughton said, “I’m happy to report that my inner child is still ageless.”…

Conversations with Thomas

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To Do, or To Done, That Is the Question 33:40

1 year ago33:40

33:40

I have a complicated relationship with to-do lists. They are undeniably useful for plotting out my day or week ahead of time, and they can be a great way to hold myself accountable for getting things done. But they are designed to remind me of all the things I haven’t done. As soon as I cross off one task, another one or two or 10 await me. The whole exercise can be a dispiriting reminder that no matter hard I work or how much I accomplish, there will always be more work to do. Because of the discouraging nature of to-do lists, I have a habit of abandoning them: My computer contains countless Word files, tasks, and sticky notes littered with uncompleted assignments and chores. Have you ever felt that traditional to-do lists don’t work for you? I’m going to walk you through a host of rumination’s connected to to-do & then chat about what I’m going to refer to as a “done list” or at time a “to-done” list. And as I said earlier this isn’t something I’ve currently implemented, but it’s gaining a lot of traction as I dove into research for this talk. If you’re running your own business, leading a team, or just trying to get through your day, seeing a bunch of un-done tasks first thing in the morning can make it feel like you’re starting the day already falling behind. But what if you started each morning by reviewing what you accomplished the previous day? That’s the idea behind a Done list.…

Conversations with Thomas

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Gratitude and How I Fell Off the Wagon 34:29

1 year ago34:29

34:29

In this podcast I’ll chat about why everyone’s always going on about how we should “practice gratitude” in life, and while I agree that it’s good to be grateful for all the good things you have in life, I discovered it’s not exactly the game-changer people claim it is. In fact, sometimes it turns into toxic positivity and doesn’t make you feel all that great. I’ll muse about why having a gratitude practice may not actually do much for you. I’ll share 10 thoughts about my concerns over a practice that just might be a tad over-rated. And I’ll wrap-up the podcast by outlining some steps you can take, that helped me, upon discovering gratitude journaling was hard. And I’ll offer a few other suggestions that might help get you back on track, if that’s what you want. Here’s my take on Gratitude and How I Fell Off the Wagon.…

Conversations with Thomas

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The Power of Self Trust 46:36

1 year ago46:36

46:36

As much as you trust yourself, you must also trust the Universe. If you only trust yourself without trusting the Universe, you miss the point, and if you only trust the Universe without trusting yourself, you cut off your power as conscious creator of your life - you kick your partner, the Universe to the curb. If you’re called to be a successful adventurer through the life you want to create, trusting yourself and listening to your inner guidance is none negotiable. Also, you must also trust this Infinite Power - the Divine. The Universe - God - Nature - whatever you want to call it, to take you wherever you want to go - your job is to be clear, crystal clear, where you want to go. In this beautiful co-creative dance with the Universe anything and everything is possible… so set your Intentions and Dream Big! I’ll share three bits of practical/strategic wisdom. Take Back Your Power - You must reclaim this power by recognizing that you do not have to prove yourself to others. Be Authentic - To live our lives in the most meaningful and fulfilled ways – we must strive to be our true, genuine selves – accepting that other people may not always appreciate us the way we deserve. Be Kind to Yourself - When we feel vulnerable and begin to talk negatively to ourselves, we begin to lose trust in ourselves. Switch to kinder self-statements. Give yourself permission to trust that you can handle anything that comes your way. Shalom Melchizedek shares this wisdom, “When you enter any relationship with doubt that doubt will be reflected back to you. You must trust yourself completely to attract another that can be trusted.”…

Conversations with Thomas

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Life Is a Mirror 37:37

1 year ago37:37

37:37

Some people consider their problems to come from outside conditions. They try in vain to change the world surrounding them in hope things will improve. This seldom works because their thoughts are out of alignment. It was the French-born novelist Anais Nin who said: “You do not see the world as it is. You see it as you are.” What you hold in mind comes to life irrespective of your preferences. Life is a mirror; its reflection shines your image back to you. “External conditions mirror internal conditions, so straightening your room settles internal disorder” affirms authors Charlene Belitz and Meg Lundstrom in, The Power of Flow: Practical Ways to Transform Your Life with Meaningful Coincidence . If you agree the world is volatile, you will look for evidence to substantiate this. You might tune into the news and hear of unfortunate incidents that confirm your beliefs. Conversations with Thomas is produced by Adam Ma.…

Conversations with Thomas

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Growing Glimmers 33:17

1 year ago33:17

33:17

Glimmers are those tiny, seemingly insignificant moments when you feel a sense of joy, pleasure, peace, and gratitude. They’re often catalyzed by simple, daily things like petting an animal, taking a hot shower, or listening to the rain outside your window. The term “glimmers” was coined by Deb Dana, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in complex trauma. In her 2018 book, The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy , Dana notes that glimmers aren’t grand experiences, she says, “They’re micro moments that begin to shape our system in very gentle ways.” If we pay attention, we’ll see that glimmers are everywhere. Everyone experiences them differently. Think of a moment you had—no matter how fleeting it might have been—where you felt safe and connected, whether with yourself or with others. Glimmers will feel a little different in everyone’s bodies, but they’re generally those warm-and-fuzzy feelings where you feel cozy and safe. Conversations with Thomas is produced by Adam Ma.…

Conversations with Thomas

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Resilience 34:27

1 year ago34:27

34:27

During this podcast I share some thoughts on resilience - what it is, what it isn’t. I challenge the notion that we always have to be resilient, but what if being tough isn’t always the answer. And l share some tips - in what I call “The Bounce Factor,” my 4-steps to “bouncing back.” Resilience will help you find joy in self-transformation, showing you ways to become more positive, hard-working, and face hardship with the kind of bravery and optimism that will get you through any challenge. Resilience helps to build skills to have you endure hardship and it means being able to adapt to life's misfortunes and setbacks. When something goes wrong, do you tend to bounce back or fall apart? When you have resilience, you harness the inner strength that helps you rebound from a setback or challenge, such as a job loss, an illness, a disaster or a loved one's death. If you lack resilience, you might get stuck on problems or feel like a victim. You might feel burdened or turn to ways to cope that aren't healthy, such as drug or alcohol use, eating disorders, or risky behaviors. Resilience won't make your problems go away. But resilience can help you see past them, find ways to enjoy life and better handle stress. If you aren't as resilient as you'd like to be, you can learn skills to become more resilient. Conversations with Thomas is produced by Adam Ma.…

Conversations with Thomas

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The Flight from Conversation 31:26

1 year ago31:26

31:26

During this podcast I’m leaning into a conversation about our collective flight from conversation. If you’re looking to upgrade your conversation skills or maybe you simply want to better understand the value of having more face-to-face time with folks in your life, this episode is for you. I think we’ve sacrificed conversation for mere connection. We’ve found value in the quick connect via text or other modes of communication that do not require our live voices. At work, at home, in politics, and in our love relationships - be that with our partners, family or friends - we find ways around conversation. I think we’re tempted by the possibilities of a text or an email in which we don’t have to look, listen, be present, be focused or at the extreme, reveal ourselves - we sacrifice dimming our authentic selves perhaps to stay safe or not be noticed. We develop a taste for what mere connection offers and have come to value the perks of it. The gathering around the dinner table falls silent. Phones compete for people’s attention. Friends learn strategies to keep conversations going when only a few people are looking up from their phones. Screens seem to be winning. Within our social media feeds, we’re challenged to only want to share opinions that our followers will agree with – a politic that shies away from the real conflicts and solutions of how we used to engage one-on-one using real conversation. I feel conversations are endangered or at least, on the endangered list for humanity. We see the costs of the flight from conversation everywhere: weren’t conversations the cornerstone of democracy and in business wasn’t it good for the bottom line. In our private lives didn’t it help to build compassion, empathy, friendship, love, learning, and productivity? Conversations with Thomas is produced by Adam Ma.…

Conversations with Thomas

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Trailer: Conversations With Thomas 1:18

2 years ago1:18