406: The One Word That Keeps Us Stuck: Guilt

From Betrayal To Breakthrough

In this episode, we dive deep into one of the most debilitating emotions we all experience: guilt. Guilt keeps us stuck, sad, and even sick—but what if we could flip the script? I explore how guilt shows up for the betrayer, the betrayed, and in everyday situations, offering actionable strategies to turn this "useless emotion" into a motivator for positive change.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

1. The Betrayer’s Guilt:

• Why guilt is unproductive if it only keeps you stuck.

• How to tie guilt to positive actions, like doing or saying something kind to your partner or children.

• How guilt can serve as a motivator for growth and transformation.

2. The Betrayed’s Guilt:

• Feeling guilty for revenge thoughts, rage, or anger during early healing stages.

• Why you shouldn’t blame yourself for someone else’s betrayal.

• How to process emotions without acting on them in ways you may regret later.

3. Guilt in Everyday Life:

• Feeling guilty for enjoying downtime, indulging in a treat, or taking care of yourself.

• How guilt tied to fun or self-care stems from old beliefs around worthiness and productivity.

• Why giving yourself permission to fully enjoy life is essential to well-being.

Key Takeaways:

• Guilt is often tied to worthiness. If you’re feeling guilty for taking care of yourself, ask why you don’t feel deserving.

• For the betrayed: your thoughts and emotions are normal, especially in early recovery Stages. Give yourself grace and don’t act on impulses that your future self may regret.

• For the betrayer: use guilt as a motivator to make amends and grow into a better version of yourself.

• When you experience guilt, stop and ask: Is this helpful? If not, let it go or turn it into positive action.

Reflection Exercise: Take a moment to notice when you feel guilty this week.

• What triggered the guilt?

• Is it tied to an old belief about worthiness or responsibility?

• Can you use this guilt to inspire positive action—or is it time to let it go?

Final Thoughts: Guilt is only useful if it motivates change. Otherwise, it’s just holding you back. Let’s work on replacing guilt with grace, self-compassion, and action that moves you forward.

Resources Mentioned:

• The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough framework

• The PBT Institute programs for betrayers and betrayed

Stay Connected: If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might need it. Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s episode! Resources & Connect with Dr. Debi

• The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.

• For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.

• For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.

• Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

• Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.