144. Parenting Without Enabling: How to Support Without Condoning Harmful Behavior

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

#Fitness #Society #Parenting #Relationship #Mental Health #Beth Hillman #Emotional Resilience #Effective Boundaries #Struggling Teen #Transitioning Home #Treatment Centre #Wilderness Therapy #Treatment Options For My Struggling Teen #Parenting A Struggling Teen #Life Coach For Parents #Parent Role #Family

38:44

The Craziest Serial Rapist In British History 200 Victims | The Case Of Reynhard Sinaga A terrible true crime story about how a quiet honors student in Indonesia became an insane maniac with over 200 victims. For more than two years he had been operating in Manchester, UK, and when he was caught, everyone was shocked! The heartbreaking case of Reynhard Sinaga! The Craziest Serial Rapist In British History | The Case Of Reynhard Sinaga | True Crime Documentary Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/full-police-interrogations-911-calls-and-true-crime-investigations-true-crime-podcast-2025--6463449/support .…

23 days ago 21:56

MP3•Episode home

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting June 11th, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups
I hope to see you there!

When your kid makes harmful or self-destructive choices, it's natural to want to step in, correct, and fix. But at some point, empathy might feel like enabling. How do we listen with compassion without sending the message that their behavior is okay?
In this episode, Seth and I unpack the fear that being supportive might mean condoning poor behavior. We look at the complexity of parenting teens and young adults who are making hard choices, like skipping school or selling drugs, and explore how to respond without judgment while still holding firm boundaries.
We talk about what it means to truly witness a struggling teen without rescuing, and how empathy, when done right, can be one of the most powerful tools for encouraging change.
This conversation is for parents who are walking the fine line between love and limits, and wondering how to stay connected without giving up their own values. If it’s ever felt impossible to be both supportive and firm, I hope this episode will help bring clarity.
In this episode on parenting without enabling, we explore:

Why empathy doesn’t equal approval, and how to hold space without condoning;
What supportive parenting really looks like during a crisis;
How to stay grounded when your teen says they want help… and then backs out;
The difference between rescuing and respecting your teen’s process;
Practical ideas for setting boundaries without emotional reactivity;
What to do when natural consequences are out of your control;
Why ignoring a behavior can actually feel more like condoning it;
And more on parenting without enabling!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.

148 episodes

144. Parenting Without Enabling: How to Support Without Condoning Harmful Behavior

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

published 23 days ago

MP3•Episode home

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting June 11th, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups
I hope to see you there!

Why empathy doesn’t equal approval, and how to hold space without condoning;
What supportive parenting really looks like during a crisis;
How to stay grounded when your teen says they want help… and then backs out;
The difference between rescuing and respecting your teen’s process;
Practical ideas for setting boundaries without emotional reactivity;
What to do when natural consequences are out of your control;
Why ignoring a behavior can actually feel more like condoning it;
And more on parenting without enabling!

148 episodes

All episodes

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

1
147. Not Every Struggling Teen Needs Wilderness: Talking Family Intensives with Mom Kathy & Therapist Jen Murphy 49:49

1 day ago49:49

49:49

What if the solution isn’t sending your teen away? When your child is struggling and the emotional rollercoaster has taken over your home, wilderness therapy might seem like the only real option. But what if it’s not the right option for your family? Today, I’m joined by mom Kathy and therapist Jen Murphy to talk about a different kind of approach for struggling teens, young adults, and families. Kathy shares her family’s journey of navigating ADHD, impulsivity, and emotional dysregulation in their teen daughter, and the decision not to pursue wilderness therapy, even after months of research, interviews, and a scholarship offer. Instead, they chose something that suited their family much better: a custom-designed family intensive that brought everyone together for growth, connection, and real change. And the results? A transformation that didn’t require shipping anyone off, but helped her family nonetheless. Whether you’re on the fence about wilderness therapy or just wondering what else is out there, this episode will show you that there are powerful, connected, and sustainable options for your family. In this episode on family intensives as an alternative to wilderness therapy, we discuss: What made wilderness therapy feel too extreme for Kathy’s teen and how she knew it; The emotional toll of trying to “solve” a struggling child; How Kathy and her husband came to different conclusions on what steps to take to help their teen daughter and family; Why therapist Jen Murphy focuses on family systems work instead of “fixing the teen”; What a custom family intensive actually looks like (hint: fun, therapeutic, and real); How family dynamics, sibling relationships, and parent alignment shape long-term outcomes; What continued integration support looks like after the intensive; The surprising impact this experience had on the whole family, and why Kathy would do it again in a heartbeat; And more! Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. About Jen Murphy Jen Murphy is a Mental Health Therapist and Family Coach with 25+ years of experience supporting families through treatment and transition. She’s the co-developer of the H.O.M.E. parenting model and offers both virtual and in-person coaching to help families build healthier patterns, improve communication, and strengthen relationships. Learn more about Jen’s work at www.altitudefamilycoaching.com Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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146. When Your Teen Doesn’t Want Your Advice 26:48

9 days ago26:48

26:48

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting June 11th, 2025 🔆 Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups I hope to see you there! You’re trying to help. They think you’re trying to control them. Sound familiar? As parents, we often step in with the best intentions: to protect, guide, or simply make things easier. But when your teen or young adult shuts down, gets defensive, or accuses you of being controlling, it can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and stuck. So, what do you do when your support backfires? In this episode, Seth and I unpack a tricky dynamic in parenting teens and young adults: offering advice that isn’t wanted. We explore why “help” can feel like judgment, how even kind intentions can come off as condescending, and what to say instead when your child shares something hard. We talk about how to respond without overstepping, and how to build trust by listening instead of fixing. Whether your teen is venting about a problem or navigating serious challenges, knowing how to offer support without triggering resistance is key. If you’ve ever been told “You’re too controlling,” or found yourself thinking “I’m just trying to help,” have a listen to today’s episode. In this episode on when your teen doesn’t want your advice, we discuss: What to do when your teen shares something but doesn’t want your advice; How unsolicited advice can feel belittling, even when you mean well; The difference between emotional safety and intellectual solutions; Why teens are more likely to come to you when they feel respected; Simple questions to ask before giving advice; How to support autonomy without stepping back completely; Why learning to “hold space” is a skill worth practicing for parents of struggling teens; And more. Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by : Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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145. How to Apologize to Your Teen or Young Adult Kid With Dana Vanrenterghem. 36:55

16 days ago36:55

36:55

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting June 11th, 2025 🔆 Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups I hope to see you there! "I'm sorry" might be the hardest two words to say to your teen. But what if apologizing is actually the key to rebuilding trust and connection? In today’s episode, I sit down with therapist Dana VanRenterghem to unpack the real challenge of taking accountability with our teens and young adults. We dive into those messy moments when emotions run high, technology fails, and communication breaks down, and explore how a genuine apology can transform your relationship with your struggling teen or young adult. We'll explore why parents struggle to apologize to their kids and how our own emotional baggage gets in the way of meaningful repair. Dana also shares practical strategies for connecting with your teen, even when it feels impossible. Whether you're navigating a tough conversation or feeling stuck in a cycle of misunderstandings, this episode offers hope and real-world tools for parents who want to show up authentically for their kids. In this episode on how to apologize to your teen or young adult kid, we discuss: Why apologizing to your teen or young adult feels so difficult; The three-step process of genuine repair; How to take accountability without shame; Maintaining your role as a caregiver; Modeling emotional intelligence for your teens; And more! Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. More about Dana VanRenterghem Dana VanRenterghem, LMSW (She/Her/Hers) is a social worker who believes in the healing power of relationships. Dana graduated from Central College with a Bachelor of Arts degree in sociology and a minor in communication studies; she was also a proud member of the Central College softball team during that time. Upon completion of undergrad, she spent most of her young career working with at-risk youth in a multitude of roles. Dana has provided direct care to teenagers in multiple residential settings, supported families in reunification and permanency efforts, and advocated for LGBTQ youth in the non-profit realm. She has a passion for helping people grow as individuals while reconnecting with loved ones who have been estranged. Dana earned her Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver with a concentration in mental health and trauma and has a foundational belief that humans need others to heal. Dana finds joy in seeing others reach their full potential and believes that empathy is at the core of meaningful engagement. Prior to joining the Family Intensive Institute team Dana served as the clinical director of a residential treatment center helping young adult women + heal from trauma and attachment wounds using the Integrated Attachment Model (IAM), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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144. Parenting Without Enabling: How to Support Without Condoning Harmful Behavior 21:56

23 days ago21:56

21:56

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting June 11th, 2025 🔆 Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups I hope to see you there! When your kid makes harmful or self-destructive choices, it's natural to want to step in, correct, and fix. But at some point, empathy might feel like enabling. How do we listen with compassion without sending the message that their behavior is okay? In this episode, Seth and I unpack the fear that being supportive might mean condoning poor behavior. We look at the complexity of parenting teens and young adults who are making hard choices, like skipping school or selling drugs, and explore how to respond without judgment while still holding firm boundaries. We talk about what it means to truly witness a struggling teen without rescuing, and how empathy, when done right, can be one of the most powerful tools for encouraging change. This conversation is for parents who are walking the fine line between love and limits, and wondering how to stay connected without giving up their own values. If it’s ever felt impossible to be both supportive and firm, I hope this episode will help bring clarity. In this episode on parenting without enabling, we explore: Why empathy doesn’t equal approval, and how to hold space without condoning; What supportive parenting really looks like during a crisis; How to stay grounded when your teen says they want help… and then backs out; The difference between rescuing and respecting your teen’s process; Practical ideas for setting boundaries without emotional reactivity; What to do when natural consequences are out of your control; Why ignoring a behavior can actually feel more like condoning it; And more on parenting without enabling! Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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143. Motivating Behavior Change in Teens & Young Adults With Teen Mentor, Michael Corbett 43:57

30 days ago43:57

43:57

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting June 11th, 2025 🔆 Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups I hope to see you there! When our kids struggle to make better choices, we often focus on offering consequences, creating a plan, and following through. It’s a natural instinct to try harder, create structure, and hold boundaries. But what often gets overlooked is the role that beliefs play in motivating behavior change, both our kids’ beliefs about themselves and our own beliefs as parents. That’s what I explore in today’s episode with teen mentor and author Michael Corbett. Michael shares how a deep understanding of our internal world - our thoughts, beliefs, and emotional patterns - is essential not just for behavior change, but for long-term self-awareness and growth. He’s been there himself, navigating a painful inner world as a kid while everything looked “fine” from the outside. Now, he uses that experience to help teens and young adults become more emotionally self-reliant and motivated from within, not just compliant on the outside. If you’ve ever felt frustrated that your teen or young-adult child knows what to do but doesn’t follow through, or if you're wondering how to support your kid who’s shut down after treatment, this conversation will offer a refreshing and compassionate new lens. In this episode on motivating behavior change in teens & young adults, we explore: Why lasting behavior change starts with shifting internal beliefs; How to help your teen or young adult clarify their values; What emotional self-reliance really looks like (and how to support it); How to talk with your teen about values without triggering resistance; Why your parenting mindset matters just as much as your strategy; How to support a teen who seems “done” with therapy after treatment; And much more! Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

1
142. Feeling Used by Your Teen? How to Move Away from Transactional Parenting With Trevor Allen 45:12

5 weeks ago45:12

45:12

“I do so much for them, and they don’t even notice” . Sounds like a familiar thought? Many parents of struggling teens or young adults feel used, taken for granted, or stuck in a dynamic where love feels more like a series of trades than a relationship. In this episode, I’m joined again by therapist Trevor Allen to unpack the tricky dynamic of transactional parenting and behavior: what it is, how it shows up, and most importantly, how to shift out of it. From “I let you go out, so you should clean your room” to “I do everything for you, and you won’t even help me out,” we explore how as well-meaning parents we can end up in a tit-for-tat cycle that erodes trust and connection. It’s not only us as parents who can experience this and feel unseen. Believe it or not, our teens might be experiencing the same thing. Miscommunication, mismatched expectations, and unspoken needs can keep both parent and teen feeling unseen. This is a compassionate, eye-opening episode for any parent trying to find their way back to genuine connection, without keeping the score. Not everything has to feel like a negotiation. Let’s explore this topic more in today’s episode. In this episode on feeling used by your teen, we cover: What transactional parenting is and why it often shows up during tough seasons; How the “I give, you give” pattern damages trust and connection; What to say when you feel used or taken for granted by your teen; How to spot (and shift) transactional tendencies in your parenting; The importance of modeling healthy, reciprocal relationships; Why it’s compliance but connection that is at the foundation for long-term change; And more! Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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141. What Are Your Expecting? - Navigating Expectations Before, During, and After Treatment 33:43

6 weeks ago33:43

33:43

It’s not your child’s job to live up to your expectations. That might sound harsh, but it’s one of the most important truths I’ve had to learn as a parent, especially during the transition home after treatment. If you’re anything like me, you might be thinking: ‘ But I don’t even have that many expectations!’ I used to think that too… I wasn’t asking for straight A’s or a high-powered career path. But the truth is, I had all sorts of hidden expectations: to be respected, to be liked, to have my child appreciate my cooking, my values, and… for them not to use drugs. And when those expectations weren’t met, it hurt. In this episode, Seth and I unpack how easily our unconscious expectations can shape the energy of our home and our family dynamics. This is especially true when your kid is coming home from treatment and the goal is to build a new, different relationship with them. Even the expectations handed to us from treatment programs can give a false sense of security, making it feel like everything will go perfectly if the plan is followed. But real life doesn’t work like that. We explore what our hidden expectations look like, the emotional effect they can have on your teen or young adult, and how you can trade them for something far more meaningful: connection, curiosity, and a new kind of relationship with your teen or young adult. In this episode on navigating expectations, we cover: Why it's so hard to see your own expectations and how they show up when your kid doesn't meet them; The emotional impact expectations can have on your child’s sense of acceptance; Why bringing your kid home from treatment requires more flexibility and less pressure; The difference between boundaries and expectations, and why that distinction matters; What parents can do to foster trust and connection during the transition home from treatment; How letting go of control can create space for a more honest relationship with your child and healthier family dynamics; And more! Looking for support? 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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140. Parenting a Teen vs a Young Adult: Nuanced Changes at Every Stage 29:02

7 weeks ago29:02

29:02

There’s a distinct shift that happens when your teen becomes a young adult, and it’s not just about age. Whether your child is living at home, in college, or fresh out of treatment, the transition from parenting a teenager to parenting a young adult is one of the most nuanced and challenging shifts we make as parents. In this episode, Seth and I talk about what that transition looks like: what needs to change, what’s okay to hold onto, and how to release the parts of parenting that no longer serve our young adult children, or us as parents. When your child turns 18 and the training wheels come off, it’s no longer about controlling their choices, it’s about trusting them to learn from them. And that often means letting go of the urge to rescue, even when we’re terrified of what might happen if we don’t step in. “If your college kid is not doing well and we just cover it and protect them, … and we’re stepping in all the time, we’re not letting the brain learn.” - Beth Hillman We explore what healthy boundaries look like at each stage: from high schoolers still living under your roof, to college students navigating their newfound independence, to young adults out in the world on their own. In this episode on parenting a teen vs a young adult, we cover: What shifts when your teen becomes a young adult, and what that means for your role as a parent; How to move from teaching values to trusting growth; What accountability looks like for teens vs. young adults; Why letting natural consequences play out is essential for development; How to recognize when you’re rescuing vs. supporting; The internal work required to stop overstepping and start letting go; How to raise a self-sufficient human being by leading with trust; And more. Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember, parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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139. How to Help Your Anxious Teen or Young Adult With Monica Crnogorac 46:18

8 weeks ago46:18

46:18

If your teen seems anxious, unmotivated, or constantly overwhelmed, there's often more going on beneath the surface than meets the eye. Teen anxiety is more common and more complex than many parents realize. Life coach for teens Monica Crnogorac brings both personal and professional insight on how to help your anxious teen. Together, we explore how anxiety can show up for our teen or young adult kids, what it feels like from their perspective, and how you, as a parent, can better support your struggling teen through it all. Monica shares her own experience with anxiety, starting from when she was bullied in sixth grade, and showing up again in high school and university. Like so many teens, she didn’t know her symptoms were anxiety, only that she felt overwhelmed, emotionally and physically. Her story is a reminder that what looks like laziness, procrastination, or school refusal may actually be anxiety at work. We also talk about what to do when your teen does open up to you, from how to reflect their language with care, to helping them develop a healthier internal dialogue. As parents, it’s easy to unintentionally dismiss or invalidate our child’s experience, but when we approach with curiosity instead of control, we give our teens the space to feel heard and supported. If your teen is showing signs of anxiety, or if you’re unsure how to talk to them about it, this episode will offer you insight, empathy, and next steps you can take today to help your anxious teen. In this episode on how to help your anxious teen, we cover: What anxiety can look like in teens and young adults, and why it’s often misunderstood; The difference between normal stress and anxiety that needs attention; Internalizing vs. externalizing anxiety; What the cycle of anxiety looks like and how to help your teen break it; What to say when your teen opens up about their struggles; How to encourage emotional regulation without trying to “fix” the problem; And more! Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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138. Life After Treatment: How Your Kid Can Find the Peer Support They Need 36:03

9 weeks ago36:03

36:03

One of the most overlooked challenges after treatment? The loss of community. Teens and young adults often return home (or head off to college) and suddenly find themselves without the peer support they had in treatment, even though that kind of support, being seen and understood by someone who’s been through it too, can be one of the most powerful parts of the healing process. “Especially for young people, the need to belong is so important” - Ciara Fanlo Your child may be craving a sense of normalcy, wanting to reconnect with friends and blend back in. But likely, they’ve changed and might not connect with their old friends as much anymore. Or they feel misunderstood because the people around them don’t understand what they’ve just been through. That longing for connection can be powerful, and without supportive peers who know what it’s like to be in treatment, your teen may feel isolated, or misunderstood. In this episode, Ciara Fanlo joins me to talk about what happens when that community disappears and how we can help our teens build it again. We explore how to support your child in finding a new kind of community, one that reflects who they are now, post-treatment. Because no matter how much love you offer as a parent, having peers who truly get it makes all the difference. In this episode on peer support after treatment, we cover: Why peer connection is crucial for teens after treatment; What your child may be feeling as they transition home or to a new environment; The disconnect teens often experience when trying to rejoin old friend groups; How to help your child find community without pushing or panicking; Why shared understanding and belonging are key to maintaining change; And more. Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com More about Ciara Fanlo Ciara Fanlo is a former “troubled teen” who now supports struggling adolescents and their families. After recovering from her own challenging years, she founded Homing Instinct to share what she learned from her experiences. Ciara now provides personalized mentorship and coaching for teens as they navigate the transformative and tumultuous journey of becoming a young adult in today’s world. You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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137. How to Care Without Losing Yourself When Your Teen Is in Crisis 19:14

10 weeks ago19:14

19:14

When your teen or young adult is struggling, it’s easy for everything else to fall away, including you. It’s a pattern we both see often: parents abandoning their own needs in the name of care, staying on high alert for the next crisis, and losing themselves in the process. I remember the desperation I felt when my son was struggling. I poured every ounce of my energy into trying to get him to choose something different. I ignored my emotional, mental, and physical needs, because I couldn’t think of anything else but him. That kind of self-sacrifice can feel noble, even necessary, but the truth is, it’s not sustainable or helpful for either of you. This episode is a gentle invitation to notice when you’re caught in this cycle. There’s a big difference between responding to a true crisis and putting your entire life on hold just in case one might happen. You’re allowed to take care of yourself. You’re allowed to have a life. And giving yourself that permission isn’t selfish. It’s healing. In this episode on how to not lose yourself when you’re teen is in crisis, we cover: Why parents often abandon themselves in their teen’s crisis The difference between being present and being on constant alert Red flags that you may be stuck in hyper-vigilance The guilt that comes with reclaiming your own life—and how to release it How caring for yourself can actually help your child more Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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136. Finding Balance While Shifting Parenting Patterns 24:12

11 weeks ago24:12

24:12

When you're doing the work to grow as a parent, it's common to overcorrect. You recognize a pattern (maybe you tend to be explosive in conflict) so you swing to the opposite end and become overly passive. It feels like progress, but suddenly you're stuck in a new extreme. In this episode, Seth and I explore what we call the "pendulum swing" of behavior and how both parents and teens experience this while trying to make real, lasting change. Whether it’s yelling one day and withdrawing the next, or setting no boundaries after years of being too rigid, shifting your parenting patterns can feel messy and inconsistent at first. But this swing between extremes isn’t failure, it’s part of the learning curve. Your brain is trying to find the middle ground, and sometimes it needs to experience both ends of the spectrum to settle into balance. And our struggling children go through this, too. After treatment, they often come home with the intention of doing everything perfectly, only to crash when the reality of being human sets in. Helping them, and yourself, navigate that swing with compassion is key. If you’re working to shift your parenting patterns and feel stuck between extremes, join us in this conversation as we help you find your footing in the middle. In this episode on finding balance while shifting parenting patterns, we cover: What the “pendulum swing” looks like in parenting and teen behavior; Why we often shift from one extreme to the other when trying to change; The emotional discomfort that fuels reactive patterns; How to find a middle ground that supports growth and connection in parenting; Why unrealistic expectations (for you or your teen) can lead to disappointment; And more! Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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135. Challenging the Stories We Tell Ourselves About Our Struggling Teens & Young Adults 35:25

12 weeks ago35:25

35:25

We all have an inner dialogue. But it's too easy to take the stories we tell ourselves, about our kids, our parenting, and what’s going to happen next, to start feeling like facts. In this episode, Seth and I explore how our narratives can quietly shape our reactions, expectations, and ultimately our relationships with our teens and young adults. “We have to remember that almost everything we think is a narrative. … All narratives can change” - Beth Hillman When a child returns home from treatment, it’s common for parents to fall into old mental scripts: I’ll have to clean for them. They won’t wake up on their own. If I don’t do X, they’ll never Y. These stories often stem from real past experiences, so it’s no wonder they feel true. But that doesn’t mean they are. Let's talk about how to recognize these narratives, examine whether they’re still serving your family, and explore how to shift them. If you're feeling stuck in patterns or assumptions about your teen or young adult, this episode offers a compassionate and practical way to loosen their grip and make room for something new. In this episode on challenging our inner dialogue as parents, we cover: The difference between narrative and fact, and how to tell them apart; Why parents often get stuck in old stories, even when growth is happening; The unconscious beliefs you may be carrying about what a good parent "should" do; What narratives your struggling child may be believing about themselves; A practical exercise for surfacing your limiting beliefs as a parent; The key question to regularly ask yourself; And more. Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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134. Helping Your (ADHD) Teen Manage Time & Build Executive Function Skills With Chrissy Nichols 39:09

13 weeks ago39:09

39:09

If your teen or young adult constantly underestimates how long things take or insists they “have plenty of time” when they don’t, welcome to the club! This common struggle is called time dysmorphia, and it’s more than just procrastination or laziness. It actually has to do with executive functioning. In this episode, executive function coach Chrissy Nichols joins me to explain what time dysmorphia is, why it happens, and how parents can help their kids manage it without frustration or shame. Many parents misinterpret time dysmorphia as defiance or irresponsibility. But whether your teen has ADHD or not, their brain may simply process time differently. Instead of getting impatient or triggered, Chrissy shares a three-step process parents can use to increase awareness, remove shame, and partner with their teen in creating practical solutions. “That’s the ultimate goal … not to get folks feeling dependent on an external source, but knowing that they have everything they need inside.” - Chrissy Nichols If your teen or young adult struggles to estimate time or follow through on tasks, this conversation will help you shift from frustration to understanding and support. In this episode on helping your (ADHD) teen or young adult manage time & build executive function skills, we cover: What time dysmorphia is and why it impacts teens and young adults but also ourselves as parents; Why this is an executive functioning issue, not laziness or disrespect; How to respond with curiosity instead of frustration; A three-step framework for helping your teen manage their time; How to support your teen or young adult in building accountability and self-awareness without shame; And more! More about Chrissy Nichols Chrissy Nichols is an executive function coach for learners of all ages but specializes in helping teens reintegrate into traditional learning environments. After more than 22 years in the classroom, Chrissy's brain hacks help clients see that there is absolutely nothing wrong with them--they just need to learn how to rewire their brain. Chrissy's work is aimed to empower her student clients to empower themselves. For parents, this means taking school and academics off their parenting plates so they can simply love their child. See how Chrissy’s thought concepts can become your executive function concepts over at www.thechrissyconcept.com Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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133. When to Step Back: The Power of Disengaging for Healthy Communication with Your Teen or Young-Adult 31:04

14 weeks ago31:04

31:04

Do you ever find yourself stuck in a conversation that’s going in circles, desperately trying to find a resolution? It’s natural to want closure, but sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do is step back. In this episode, Seth and I explore how disengaging can actually strengthen healthy communication with your teen rather than shutting it down. When emotions run high, it can be difficult to recognize when a conversation is no longer productive. As parents, we often enter discussions with our teens with an agenda, wanting to fix a behavior or push for change. But if your teen isn’t on the same page, the conversation can quickly become frustrating for both of you. Instead of seeking to be heard, what if we focused on understanding and connection instead? “If I don’t want to listen to the person, the conversation is not going to go well.” - Seth Gottlieb In this episode, we discuss how healthy communication with your teen isn’t about pushing harder but about knowing when to pause, reset, and approach conversations with more awareness and intention. If you’ve ever felt stuck in an argument or frustrated by going in circles, this episode will give you the tools to step back, create space, and improve communication with your teen in a meaningful way. In this episode on the power of disengaging for healthy communication with your teen, we cover: How to recognize when a conversation with your teen isn’t going anywhere; The impact of entering a discussion with an agenda; How to increase self-awareness and shift to understanding rather than control; Practical ways to disengage in a way that strengthens, rather than harms, your relationship or family dynamics; What to ask your teen to foster healthy communication and more open, productive conversations; And more! Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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132. Why Isn’t Your Love Enough to Make Your Struggling Teen Choose Better? 27:03

15 weeks ago27:03

27:03

It’s devastating to watch your teen struggle and feel like nothing you do is making a difference. You love them more than anything, yet your support, advice, and care don’t seem to make a difference. If you’ve ever thought, Why isn’t my love enough to help my struggling teen? , you’re not alone. In this episode, Seth and I unpack why struggling teens may reject the love and support they need and what parents can do with this knowledge. Many parents take their child’s maladaptive behaviors personally, wondering what they did wrong or why their love isn’t enough to bring their child back to stability. “Until somebody feels that they are worthy of what you are trying to provide, they’re not going to accept it.” - Seth Gottlieb Seth shares his own experience of feeling so unworthy of love that he couldn’t truly accept the support of those around him. Until a struggling teen believes they are worthy of love, it’s difficult for them to let it in, no matter how much they may need it. If you feel helpless in your child’s struggle, join us for today’s episode. In this episode on feeling like your love isn’t enough for your struggling teen to choose better, we explore: Why it can feel like your love isn’t enough to help your struggling teen; How a teen’s self-worth affects their ability to accept love and support; Why struggling teens often push away relationships, even when they need them; The power of witnessing and letting your child know you’re there for them; What to do when your teen isn’t ready for help; And more. Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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131. Navigating Home Visits: How to Approach Your Teen’s Visit Home from Treatment 35:45

16 weeks ago35:45

35:45

Home visits after treatment can be both exciting and nerve-wracking for everyone involved. It’s a time filled with hope, but with that hope often comes fear: fear of falling back into old patterns, fear of things going wrong, and fear of not knowing what to expect. In this episode, Seth and I unpack what makes home visits so important, why they can feel overwhelming, and how to navigate them with intention. Every family member brings their own expectations to a home visit. As a parent, you may see it as a chance to talk through everything in one weekend or simply want to create a relaxing, welcoming environment for your teen. Your teen, on the other hand, may be watching closely to see if you have also been doing the work, if old dynamics are still at play or if there’s been a real shift. When expectations go unspoken, frustration can build, making it harder to connect in meaningful ways. So how do you balance structure, connection, and open communication during a home visit? We discuss the importance of setting realistic expectations, allowing for autonomy, and creating space for both fun and difficult conversations. Because ultimately, home visits are an opportunity to start building new, healthier patterns as a family. If you’re preparing for a home visit or wondering what to expect, this conversation will help you feel more confident and prepared to navigate this important step in your teen’s journey. In this episode on home visits, we cover: The role of home visits in the treatment and healing process; What your teen is looking for when they come home from treatment for a visit; How unspoken expectations can create tension & how to talk about them; Balancing structure, autonomy, and connection during the home visit; What to do if you feel hesitant about a home visit as a parent; Why a challenging visit doesn’t mean failure & and how to move forward. Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by : Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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130. From Sibling to Mentor: The Sibling’s Perspective & Building Community After Treatment With Ethan Gordon 29:37

17 weeks ago29:37

29:37

When a child struggles, the entire family feels it. But the sibling’s experience is often overlooked. Today, we get to hear the sibling’s perspective as Ethan Gordon, a mentor for struggling kids, teens, and young adults, joins me to share his unique perspective as both a sibling and a social worker. Drawing from his personal loss of a brother to drug addiction, Ethan offers insights into his unique experiences as a sibling of a struggling teen. Navigating how much to share with siblings when a family is in crisis can be incredibly challenging. Some parents may overshare, while others try to protect their children by withholding all information. It’s a hard place to be in as a parent. Ethan reminds us that everyone processes family struggles differently and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Now, in his work as a mentor, Ethan focuses on guiding teens to build connection and community, a vital piece that often disappears after treatment. He shares his approach to creating systems that give your teen happiness, social connection, and a piece of community during their day that they can fall back on when things get tough. His approach is simple: meet teens where they are and guide them toward connection and growth. Join us in this conversation as Ethan offers actionable insights for navigating life after treatment and offering your teen sustainable support. In this episode, on the sibling’s perspective, we cover: The unique path and experience of siblings during family crises; The different roles the sibling can take on in the family dynamics, for example as a peacemaker or by withdrawing; How much to share with your sibling about what’s going on with your struggling teen?; The importance of building connection and community when transitioning home from wilderness or other treatment programs; And more! Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com More about Ethan Gordon Ethan is the founder of Bold Ascents , a mentorship organization dedicated to supporting youth across the country, aged 10-24, in their transition home from treatment programs. With a decade of experience in the mental health field, Ethan has worked with a wide variety of populations, including survivors of sexual assault, individuals experiencing homelessness, and adolescents struggling with mental health challenges. Having been a sibling to a young person who went through wilderness therapy and losing his brother at a young age to addiction, he has a personal connection to his work. At Bold Ascents, Ethan helps adolescents and young adults recognize their resilience, navigate the challenges of daily life, and build a foundation for success. Through his client-centered approach, Ethan fosters a deep sense of connection and validation, empowering youth to embrace their unique paths forward. You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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129. Shifting to Healthy Communication with Your Teen and Family 39:40

18 weeks ago39:40

39:40

Healthy communication is the foundation of strong relationships. But when emotions run high, it’s easy to fall into unhelpful patterns. In this episode, trauma therapist Sarah Allen joins me to explore how communication styles shape family dynamics and what it takes to shift toward healthier, more assertive communication with your struggling teen. If you’ve ever felt stuck between being too passive or too controlling in conversations with your teen, you’re not alone. Many parents default to passive communication, avoiding conflict and hoping their teen picks up on their needs. Others swing toward aggressive communication, trying to maintain control and authority. But neither approach helps you build the trust and connection we want with your teen. What we should strive for? Assertive communication, which allows you to set clear, healthy boundaries, express your needs, and create a structure that helps your teen feel safe, without resorting to power struggles. In this conversation, Sarah and I break down what healthy communication looks like, how your communication style impacts your parenting, and how small shifts can make a big difference in your relationship with your teen. In this episode on healthy communication with your teen and family, we discuss: What makes communication healthy or unhealthy; The difference between passive, aggressive, and assertive communication; How your communication style influences your parenting approach; Why structure helps teens feel safer, even when they resist it; Practical strategies to shift toward more balanced, effective communication with your teen and family; And more! Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by : Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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128. Parenting an Overwhelmed Teen (And Dealing With Your Own Overwhelm as a Parent) 22:35

19 weeks ago22:35

22:35

When life feels like too much, it’s easy to get caught in the spiral of overwhelm. And let’s face it, whether it’s your teen or yourself as a parent, overwhelm is something we all face from time to time. In this episode, we dive into how to support your teen through these challenging moments while also learning to manage your own as a parent. Overwhelm can show up in many ways, emotional shutdowns, conflict, exhaustion, or frustration, all stemming from the pressure of unmet expectations. Whether it’s you as a parent or it’s your teen who’s feeling overwhelmed, the same strategies can help: setting clear boundaries, validating emotions, and releasing the pressure to meet everyone’s expectations. Overwhelm doesn’t have to define your family dynamics. In this episode, Seth and I share our personal experiences with managing overwhelm and expectations and how these moments impact our relationships. We also explore the strategies that can help both you and your teen find balance and connection when overwhelm starts to creep in. In this episode on parenting an overwhelmed teen, we discuss: What overwhelm can look like in your teen’s behavior; How to help your teen navigate the pressure of expectations; The role of emotional congruence in strengthening your connection; Why validation is key to supporting an overwhelmed teen; The importance of setting boundaries before overwhelm takes over; How vulnerability can foster understanding and growth in your relationship; And more! Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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127. When Nothing Seems to Work for Your Struggling Teen 35:27

20 weeks ago35:27

35:27

What do you do when you’ve tried everything? Your teen has been to wilderness programs, therapeutic boarding schools, partial hospitalization programs, and more—and yet, the struggles persist. The behaviors, the fears, the maladaptive patterns, they all return in some way or form when your teen comes back home. What now? In this episode, I’m joined again by the incredible Ciara Fanlo, a former “troubled teen” turned mentor and coach for struggling teens. Together, we delve into the feelings of exhaustion, frustration, and fear that come when walking this path as a parent. But also the deep shame and self-blame your teen probably carries when nothing seems to help. Ciara shares her perspective as someone who’s been in your teen’s shoes. She recalls her own experience of questioning, “What’s so wrong with me that nothing works?” and the heavy belief that she was beyond help. It’s a heartbreaking place to be, for both teens and their families. But as Ciara and I explore, the search for answers doesn’t have to center on blame. There’s a profound shift that happens when we let go of what’s out of our control and begin to focus on acceptance. As I share in the episode, I remember the moment I stopped fighting against everything I couldn’t change. That moment of surrender wasn’t giving up, it was a recognition of what was within my power and where I could still make a difference. If you’ve ever felt the fatigue of doing all the “right” things as a parent but still feeling stuck, this conversation is for you. In this episode on what to do when nothing seems to work for your struggling teen, we explore: Why the pursuit of control can often exhaust us without bringing real change; How teens experience their own shame and self-blame in these situations; What it means to shift from blame to acceptance; Practical ways to find a healthy sense of control, even in the hardest moments; And more. Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com More about Ciara Fanlo Ciara Fanlo is a former “troubled teen” who now supports struggling adolescents and their families. After recovering from her own challenging years, she founded Homing Instinct to share what she learned from her experiences. Ciara now provides personalized mentorship and coaching for teens as they navigate the transformative and tumultuous journey of becoming a young adult in today’s world. You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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126. Will My Work as a Parent Ever Be Done? 25:19

21 weeks ago25:19

25:19

Parenting often feels like one of the most rewarding yet unrelenting journeys. There’s no clocking out, even after major milestones are achieved. In this episode, Seth joins me to explore what it means to keep showing up as a parent, even when the work feels never-ending. I reflect on how my son has grown far beyond his time as “my wilderness kid.” Yet, just the other day, we shared an interaction that reminded me our journey is still ongoing. It’s a process of meeting each other with empathy, compassion, and an awareness of how our fight, flight, and freeze patterns still show up. It’s natural to wonder, “When can I take a break from this?” But the truth is, growth as a parent and as a family doesn’t have a finish line. The good news? It’s in this ongoing process that deeper connections and resilience are built. If you’ve ever felt stretched thin by the demands of parenting, this episode is a reminder that your efforts matter. Small, consistent steps and moments of grace create lasting progress, strengthening the bond between you and your child along the way. In this episode on whether your work as a parent is ever really done, we discuss: Why the ongoing work of parenting and personal growth is as much about the journey as the destination; How to hold boundaries that are firm yet adaptable, because parenting is as human as it gets; How to recognize and resist falling back into old habits when the “dark wolf” of self-doubt or fatigue creeps in; What it means to keep showing up and do our work as a parent, even when we feel tired or reach a goal; And more. Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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125. Strengthening Relationships Through Conflict 15:35

22 weeks ago15:35

15:35

Sometimes the shame around my actions feels so heavy and I feel like I’ve failed as a parent. Sounds familiar? In this deeply personal episode, I open up about one of the most painful regrets I’ve had as a parent. A moment I carried shame around for years. It was a time when I was overwhelmed with emotions and lacked the tools I have now, leading to choices I’m not proud of. At the time, I was convinced my struggling teen was doing everything “wrong” and my attempts to “fix” him only deepened the divide between us. Looking back, I realize that while his choices weren’t ideal, mine weren’t either. That realization was hard to face, but it set the stage for something even more powerful: repair. “We can have a better, stronger relationship by having conflict and then repairing, than if there was never any conflict.” - Beth Hillman Repairing the relationship with my son didn’t happen overnight. In fact, it took years. But through a meaningful conversation with him recently, I learned something profound: conflict doesn’t have to weaken a relationship. In fact, repairing after conflict can lead to a deeper, stronger bond than if the conflict had never occurred at all. In this episode on strengthening relationships through conflict, I reflect on: The intense emotions that drove my actions and how I’ve worked to process and release the shame; How repairing with myself was a crucial first step before I could repair with my teen; The lessons my son and I learned about conflict, repair, and resilience through our journey. If you’ve ever felt like you’ve failed as a parent, this episode is a reminder that it’s never too late to repair, rebuild, and reconnect with your teen. It’s a process, and sometimes it takes time, but it’s always worth it. Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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124. How to influence better sleep and beat insomnia for yourself and your teen with Sleep Doctor Funke Brown 34:27

23 weeks ago34:27

34:27

It’s no secret that sleep is crucial for teens, but getting them to prioritize it? That’s a whole different story! This week on the podcast, I’m joined by Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown, a triple board-certified sleep physician and founder of Restful Sleep MD, to dive into the importance of sleep for our teens and how we, as parents, can support them in developing healthy sleep habits. Sleep isn’t just about feeling rested, it’s foundational to every aspect of health. From learning and mood to metabolism and risk-taking behaviors, a lack of quality sleep can have profound effects on our teens. Dr. Funke explains how poor sleep impacts their mental, physical, and emotional well-being and offers actionable strategies to help your teen get the rest they need to thrive. So, how can we encourage our teens to prioritize sleep without making it a battle? Dr. Funke shares simple yet effective approaches, from connecting the benefits of sleep to what matters most to your teen (whether it’s better athletic performance, improved grades, or clearer skin) to creating an optimal sleep environment. In this episode on how to influence better sleep for our teens, we discuss: The effects of poor sleep on teens, including mood, memory, and physical health; How to motivate your teen to prioritize sleep without forcing it; Practical tips for setting up an optimal sleep environment; The impact of technology on sleep and how to address it as a family; Why we sometimes wake up anxious and how to handle nighttime worries; Sleep as a skill: retraining the brain for better rest; And more! This conversation is packed with insights and tools to help you support your teen in building healthy sleep habits, so let’s dive in! Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com More about Dr. Funke Brown Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown is a triple board-certified sleep physician and the founder of Restful Sleep MD . She is also the best-selling author of Beyond Tired—A Sleep Physician’s Guide to Solving Your Child’s Sleep Problems for Good . Dr. Funke Brown helps women and their children prioritize sleep, achieve optimal health, thrive, and live to their fullest potential. As a busy physician and mom of two, she understands the impact of sleep deprivation on our mental, physical, and emotional health and has made it her mission to help others make sleep a priority. She also works with organizations and businesses to improve their health by incorporating healthy sleep into their wellness journey. She’s a consultant and a speaker on regional, national, and international platforms. You can learn more about Dr. Funke Brown on her website (www.restfulsleepmd.com), Instagram or Facebook (@restfulsleepmd), or LinkedIn (Dr. Funke Brown).…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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123. Recognizing Your Teen’s Progress With Ciara Fanlo 21:14

24 weeks ago21:14

21:14

How do you know if your teen is truly making progress? As parents, we often cling to our own standards, like better grades or sticking to curfews. These are the markers we cling to as evidence that the therapy or treatment is “working.” But what if the signs you’re looking for aren’t the ones that matter most? Because, our teens? They’re navigating their own priorities and often finding progress in ways that are less visible to us. They often grow in ways that don’t align with our expectations as parents. In this episode, I’m joined once again by Ciara Fanlo, a former “troubled teen” turned mentor for adolescents and their families. Together, we dive into the complicated dynamic between the signs of progress parents look for and the often very different changes teens experience. I’ve been there myself with my wilderness kid. I remember practically falling apart because he kept breaking curfew over and over again when hanging out with friends, while he was actually feeling proud because he noticed he was starting to make some real connections. In this episode, Ciara and I explore how you can expand your understanding of what change and progress look like for your teen. In this episode on recognizing your teen’s progress, we discuss: The disconnect between parents’ expectations and teens’ lived experiences of change; Why transition periods after treatment are so challenging and how to approach them with compassion; How to identify subtle signs of growth and development in your teen; Balancing boundaries with an understanding of your teen’s priorities; And more! Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com More about Ciara Fanlo Ciara Fanlo is a former “troubled teen” who now supports struggling adolescents and their families. After recovering from her own challenging years, she founded Homing Instinct to share what she learned from her experiences. Ciara now provides personalized mentorship and coaching for teens as they navigate the transformative and tumultuous journey of becoming a young adult in today’s world. You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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122. Your Kid Shouldn’t Take Your Advice: Here’s Why - With Ciara Fanlo 30:44

25 weeks ago30:44

30:44

It’s SO frustrating when your kid doesn’t take your advice, isn’t it?! As parents, we have more life experience and we can share our advice with our kids to give them an easier and smoother life experience, at least that’s how it feels to us, right? That’s not how it works though. Together with Ciara Fanlo (a former “troubled teen” turned mentor for adolescents and their families), I explore why teens often don’t take advice, how to shift from frustration to understanding, and how to support teens as they build their library of life experiences. Because here’s the thing: while as parents have decades of life experience, our teens are still gathering theirs. “There’s no substitute for life experience” Ciara explains. You want to save them from heartache and disappointment because you know how hard it is. But the problem is, that doesn’t actually teach them anything. Hardly anyone, whether kids, teens, or adults, learns from hearing. We learn by experiencing. So even when your teen intellectually understands your advice, they don’t have their own memory bank yet of setbacks, disappointments, and triumphs, that they can connect it to to really integrate the lesson. So what does that mean? In short, it means that we should let our kids make their own mistakes, no matter how difficult that may be. Let them build their own library of experiences. “Parenting is not about saving your child from experience; it’s about helping them find themselves through the experience.” - Beth Hillman So how can you best support your teen in doing this? Let’s discuss it in today’s episode. In this episode on why your kid shouldn’t take your advice, we discuss: Why teens don’t always listen to advice, and why they shouldn’t; Understanding the gap between a parent’s lived experience and a teen’s need to build their own; How heartbreak, disappointment, and mistakes serve as the real teachers for teens; How parents can best support, encourage, and influence their teen (without enabling) to learn through their experience; Dealing with frustration, fear, and the urge to protect as a parent while allowing your kid space for growth; And more! Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com More about Ciara Fanlo Ciara Fanlo is a former “troubled teen” who now supports struggling adolescents and their families. After recovering from her own challenging years, she founded Homing Instinct to share what she learned from her experiences. Ciara now provides personalized mentorship and coaching for teens as they navigate the transformative and tumultuous journey of becoming a young adult in today’s world. You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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121. Unshaming My Anxiety: A Personal Story 17:49

26 weeks ago17:49

17:49

I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety lately. Our wilderness kid is doing really well, so you’d think, after all the heartache, pain, and anxiety of that journey, things would finally feel calm. But life has a way of throwing curveballs, doesn’t it? But honestly, I’ve been judging my anxiety hard. What’s your problem? Why can’t you handle this? You used to be good at this! You’re a mess. It’s exhausting, and the more I try to push these thoughts away, the louder they get. But then a good reminder brought me back on the path of unshaming and it started to shift my perspective. I know many of you are navigating hard times too. The mistakes we make, the thoughts that feel overwhelming, they need unshaming. They need understanding. That’s where healing starts. And as I work through this, I’m learning to love myself through the experience. If you’re in a season of anxiety or shame, I want you to know I’m here for you. Together, we can unlearn the judgment and begin to embrace understanding. In this episode on unshaming anxiety, I reflect on: My recent struggles with anxiety and what they’ve taught me; How anxiety often masks deeper emotions, like sadness or fear; The transformative power of understanding and accepting anxiety; Unshaming past actions to regain control and self-compassion. Please know, you are not alone. Other episodes on this topic: 61. How to Unshame Your Parent Regrets With David Bedrick - Part 1 62. How to Unshame the Identified Patient in Your Home With David Bedrick - Part 2 Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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120. Releasing Control and Desired Outcomes for Our Teens With Maggie, Mom of a Wilderness Kid 48:28

27 weeks ago48:28

48:28

It’s natural to want to steer our kids toward success and protect them from struggle. But what if trying to control the outcome does more harm than good? In this episode, I speak with Maggie, a mom of four (including one “wilderness kid”), who shares her deeply personal journey of learning to step back, trust her child’s path, and focus on her own growth. “I leaned in on control-based, outcome-oriented parenting because I thought that was my job. I thought that’s what a good parent looked like” Maggie admits. Be she started noticing she was consistently crossing the line when her kids grew older, moving from reassuring them about her own choices to trying to make their choices for them. The result? Miscommunication, frustration, and strained family dynamics. Maggie’s turning point came when she realized she’s not the main character in her child’s life. “It is not my job to make my child succeed and it’s not my job to intervene when struggle is up ahead” - Maggie By stepping out of the way and allowing her child to make their own decisions, whether these are the choices she would have made herself or not, she noticed an interesting shift: he started making healthier choices for himself. Maggie’s story is so relatable for many parents out there with a struggling teen, so have a listen and enjoy. In this episode on letting go of control and desired outcomes for our teens, we discuss: How to shift from controlling to supporting your child’s journey; Why prioritizing impact over intent is key in parent-child communication; The surprising ways letting go can improve your relationship with your struggling teen and family dynamics in general; How struggles shape kids into who they’re meant to be, and why parents shouldn’t stand in the way. And much more! Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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119. Why Messing Up After Treatment Can Be a Teen's Greatest Teacher with Former Struggling Teen Michael Wangsgard 47:48

28 weeks ago47:48

47:48

What happens after your teen completes treatment? It’s a question many parents grapple with. In today’s episode, Beth talks to Michael, a former struggling teen who went to wilderness himself, about his journey through treatment and the challenges of returning home. Michael reflects on his time in wilderness treatment as the ‘worst best time’ of his life. It wasn’t just the woods or the strict routines that made it tough - it was the emotional accountability he had never faced before. As he shares, “At home, I got away with everything and anything.” But wilderness was only the beginning. Michael opens up about the highs and lows that followed, from the "honeymoon period" in which everything seemed to be going great, to the real work of sustaining change. He also speaks about his parents’ role during this time: their support, their boundaries, and their commitment to not only doing their own work alongside him but supporting him in his work as well. If you’ve ever wondered how to support your teen after treatment, or how to hold steady through the ups and downs, Michael’s story is one for you. In this episode on messing up after treatment, we cover: How Michael abused the privileges he was given during wilderness; The importance of holding boundaries after treatment; How parents can support their teen’s ongoing growth; Michael’s experiences after treatment, from a 3-month ‘honeymoon’ period to a new ’storm’; The support his parents gave him after treatment and the boundaries they held up; The importance of doing your own work and also finding out what your kid is working on and supporting them in that work; Why having a mentor can be incredibly beneficial for your teen after treatment; And more! Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. More about Michael Wangsgard Michael is a former struggling teen who went to wilderness turned mentor for struggling teens. You can connect with Michael via email at wangsgardm@gmail.com or give him a call at 8014308455. You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.…

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

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118. What Success Looks Like for Young Adults With Joanna Lilley 35:09

29 weeks ago35:09